Sunday, December 18, 2005
Thursday, November 17, 2005
16. Shopping for groceries.
17. Learning to cook a new dish and it tasting good too.
18. Surfing the net while everyone’s asleep.
19. Watching makeover shows like Ambush Makeover, Extreme Homemakeover and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy/Girl.
20. Personal emails in my inbox.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
See si Lion talaga favorite nya. Yun nga lang tingin ng iba imitation Pink Panther cya or tiger na may bonnet.
Friday, November 04, 2005
I know I’ve got to get more organized and get my energy level up so I can cope. Oh hopeless me… however will I do that?
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Make Sam's life as happy as possible.
Focus on the joys not the sorrow.
Pray, pray and pray that he doesn't suffer much.
Pray, pray and pray for a miracle ( if only he'll survive to sit in a wheelchair ).
Prepare for our goodbye.
When we do say goodbye remember that someday I'll see him again and get to kiss and hug him.
Still hardest thing to do is to let go...
"It's Sam. not anyone else. it's SMA, not something else. It's 18 months, and not a few years. We were explicitly told to expect death, and not just the "worst".
Of course we have faith, faith that God knows what his plans are for Sam, whether he takes him home early or not. Faith is not just about believing that God can, coz the truth is he always can. Faith is also about trusting that sometimes he won't, if that's His will, and faith is all about that: His will."
As my OB said, "Lord, Your Will. Nothing more, nothing less, nothing else."
I guess Mark must have removed his comment because he thought it sounded offensive of ungreatful. But its true. So I posted it without permission and hopefully he doesn't get mad... And I do hope you understand.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
CHILDREN BORN WITH SPINAL MUSCULAR ATROPHY FACE A SHORT AND DIFFICULT LIFE. HOW THAT LIFE IS SPENT IS THE PARENTS' DIFFICULT DECISION. It is among the deadliest genetic disorders to strike children younger than 2. Yet most parents have never heard of spinal muscular atrophy....
Sam - Mommy and Papa loves you.
Friday, October 21, 2005
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
11. 43 things
12. Sam’s little tongue flickering in and out.
13. Being alone in a peaceful place with huge trees and a clear sky.
14. Window shopping.
15. A steaming bowl of sinigang with red hot siling labuyo on fish sauce.
2. Marseille – One of my friends said she’s doing 43things now i guess i also have towo find her here.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Monday, October 10, 2005
So if you join 43things after reading this and seeing it for yourself please do tell me so I can start counting...
Saturday, October 08, 2005
“The most important thing she’d learned over the years was that there was no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.”
~ Jill Churchill
1. Chocolate Chip Cookies
2. Doing laps (very slowly) in a steaming swimming pool.
3. Reading books.
4. Tickling my hubby.
5. Clean sheets.
Part 2 … to come..
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
| You are a |
You are best described as a:
Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Shop finally reopened yesterday with Ubuntu as our OS. I like the new look since it feels familiar to our regular customers. Of course Mark and Mars had to do alot of tweaking to make it look that way -- clean desktop, good old dock with new icons for the new apps and the XP background (hehe). The only thing thats really noticable is the missing start menu but since our regular customers are so used with the dock most don't mind its non-existence. Here's a screenshot of the default Ubuntu desktop.
And the new desktop theme.
Wanda the Fish
One of the apps I asked Mark to put on the dock was Wanda the Fish. I don't know if any of the customers have dicovered her yet (aside from Armi who doesn't count since I pointed out Wanda to her just now). Wanda is supposed to be a fortune teller who spouts out "words of wisdom". Here are some of my favorites....
To be or not to be. -- Shakespeare
To do is to be. -- Nietzsche
To be is to do. -- Sartre
Do be do be do -- Sinatra
Q: What does an insomniac agnostic dyslexic do at night?
A: Stay up all night and wonder if there is a dog.
Nikki's first fortune
...You have a strong appeal to members of your own sex.
The fortune that made Armi gasp...
... argh sorry we forgot what it was exactly...
As Mark said Sam is finally home. But being the gala that he is we went out again today to see his alternative doctor. No biggie, just a routine checkup. All the same I was really nervous today because I had a sinking feeling that the doctor would get just a bit mad at me because I OVERDOSED MY BABY FOR A FEW DAYS!!! Yes, bad mom alert!!! ( But hell if any of you feel like agreeing with that statement shut up and keep it to yourself my self-esteem doesn't need your opinion right now.) It was only just this morning that my mom realized that the dropper we were using said mg and not mL. Instead of giving him 1.2mL of medicine (equivalent to around 50mg) 3 times a day I gave him 120mg of medicine 3 times a day!!! Imagine how bad I felt. I was so nervous and I felt so bad because I was the one who started using that dropper since it was the dropper that went with the medicine package even if Sam's doctor told me to use the same medicine dropper I used for his vitamins. I was however calm enough to immediately think back and try to remember Sam's reaction to the medicine for the past few days. Since he seemed ok I did not panic. I looked for the medicine box and turned it inside out to read on it. My stomach turned even more sour when I realized just how grossly overdosed my baby was. However the overdose part didn't say anything about adverse effects except that it instructed me to stop medicating the baby immediately. And since it didn't say anything about rushing the baby to the doctor I decided to put it off for a few more hours until the appointed checkup. Well good news to everybody, most of all to me, the doctor said Sam's ok and that it is even common practice to double dose a patient with that medicine when the infection is really bad. Although by the time Sam was taking that medicine his infection was that bad anymore it didn't cause him any trouble. If anything it even helped soften his poopoo since one of the possible side effects was diarrhea, but since Sam is usually slightly constipated it just helped ease his bowel movement. And the other "side effect" -- Sam's lungs are totally clear. ^_^
Sam's hospital pics (magaling na siya sa lahat nito.)
Monday, September 19, 2005
A few minutes ago, as I listened to some old songs, 2 miracles happened.
Miracle #1: Falling in love with my husband all over again.
I've been going through so much lately that I've long lost my focus and forgot what really matters. I couldn't see through the cloud of despair hanging over me. Deep within me I've been running scared and was afraid to even hope that this difficult chapter in life will ever come to an end. And rather unfortunately and very much unfairly I've been taking most of my frustration out on the one person who understood and loved me the most, my husband. Our relationship, like all relationships, need a lot of work but because of all the problems that's been testing our strength ours have been falling to pieces little by little for some time now. And no matter what front I put up before other people the truth was that I had given up. But for all his faults, Mark has always been consistent in one thing -- his desire to make things work out between us. He's been wooing me and trying to make me see the positive side of life, wanting me to believe in myself, in us and in life again. And though he tried I kept on vacillating between being too down, too scared and too stubborn to listen to him. This morning, as I listened to an old song I used to like but never really related too, I finally heard what Mark has been trying to say. Even more importantly I finally felt ready to believe that we should and could make it work, not just for Sam but because we do love each other. And as corny as it may seem, love is really the one thing that matters.
The song that spoke to me.
Miracle #2: I felt like dancing the way I used to.
Its been such a long time since I felt like dancing just because I felt happy. A few months back I remember dancing in the shop but it was more because I was feeling a little crazy and idiotic. But to dance because I felt carefree is a thing of the past for me, I've let myself grow old and it shriveled up the part of me I loved -- the part that sees the world with rose colored glasses and loves all mankind, that part that rarely gets to peek out, the part that I miss so much. Right now its five thirty in the morning, usually an ungodly hour for me. I'm in the hospital taking care of my sick little Sam and hearing Mark snore on the other bed but everything is alright. I am not tired. I am not sleepy. I am not sad. For the first time since I can't remember when I feel like dancing again. I feel that for a few minutes at least I found myself again, unstained and whole. I found the child in me.
Music that I can't wait to dance to with Sam when he grows up. I hope that one of the things I'll be able to give to my child is the joy of dancing with oneself.
**blogged using a cellphone, an index card and a pencil borrowed from the nurses' station
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Here are a few pics ni Sam downloaded from Armi's phone:
He looks like a puppy.
Bottom View. Taken by Mark the other night.
Sunday, August 28, 2005
There are three games I really got into (aside from minesweeper and Zuma...hehe): Sims, Tropico and Heroes. There were other games I liked but not as much as those 3. I liked Sim City, Zeus, Populus (which I sucked at), Utopia, Neopets and all those windows games. I tried playing Starcraft and those bang bang guns games but I sucked at anything real time kasi natataranta ako lagi since my reflexes seem to be really slow. I also played Oz, the first game level-up games released, and Ragnarok , that gaming phenomenon in the Philippines where you do nothing but click your mouse to kill a monster and somehow feel satisfied when you level up without having to use much of your gray matter. Oh how I love games but nothing comes close to my top three.
With Sims it s all about the houses (Oh beautiful houses) and having a great virtual career. In Sims I got my dream of becoming a lounge singer ( I made sure that that Sim didnt advance beyond being a lounge singer), I became a criminal, an astronaut, a soccer super star and alot of other things. But mostly its about the house. I love beautiful houses and I dream of having a few of my own . Maybe that's why I love watching Extreme Home Makeover so much.
**train of thought interrrupted -- had to feed and put baby to sleep
Where was I?
**train of thought interrrupted again -- baby woke up, typing with Sam in my arms
Ok so i'm not in the mood to write anymore. Basta all i know is that Tropico is a real cool game -- kaya pahiramin mo na ko ng installer mo Mars. As for heroes it the only game that i got so addicted to that i was always able to finish my chores just so my mom won't realize i've been playing the whole day. Its also the only one that I dreamt of repeatedly. Kaya i have to someday play the last expansion pack that i never got to play.
And to end this jumbled, unedited post I have to say that although my posts will most probably be always like this (full of interruptions, thus stilted) its worth it to see my baby sleeping peacefully and to smell his smelly crown.
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
To friends who maybe far but will always be there for you to share your life with.
Thank you for sharing my heartbeat. Thank you for knowing us but choosing to see the beautiful side.
Sunday, August 07, 2005
Here are some blog topics i never found time or enough motivation to type up:
1. Birth pains and trauma - Yes Mars, Mrs Oblepias was correct. It is an 11.
2. Postpartum blues - Usual bleh about depression. Boring....
3. My birthday and Mark's surprise - Very simple surprise over breakfast but i was really surprised.
4. My mom's daughter is a mom - This one is highly personal and complicated. I dont think I'll ever post whatever my thoughts are on this one.
5. Little blessings that count - Stuff like Armi dropping in and studying here just when i needed company. Or a short chat with Nikki sa chikka just when i felt like crying. Or my baby making cute little noises just when i was getting bored out of my mind. Or Mark making a little more than expected for a little odd job just when we needed money.
6. Homecoming - I didnt go to my grade school's alumni homecoming and of course regretted it. I know Mark, sometimes you know me more than myself. I should arrange a gimmik with my grade school classmates...
7. Our bundle of joy - Every little thing Sam does that makes me crazy. I love that little alien of mine.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
My reason for living.
Some batchmates (and their other halves) dropped by last last weekend for a baby shower. I've been in this stupor for days before they came and was apprehensive about the visit but as it turned out I enjoyed it tremendously. Thanks guys for the gifts and the visit. The long chat with Aisa which she calls tsismisan ng mga nanay especially helped lift my spirits. It was great to see all of you. I didn't realize that I missed having company sooo much.
Friday, June 24, 2005
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Sunday, June 12, 2005
Every year I forget a lot of birthdays but there are some that I always remember on time. Problem is I never seem to greet people on the scheduled date, if at all. So that is my excuse for this -- Belated Happy Birthday George and Luz!
I don't want Nikki's birthday greeting to be late either so even if its quite early -- Advance happy birthday to you NikkiPikki.
Speaking of birthdays, Baby Samuel's birthdate is coming up. I don't know when exactly but we're hoping that it'll be after the 15th at least. I am pretty excited even if I am a bit anxious about the pain. It helps though that Mark seems to be more anxious about it than I am. Its really funny the way he cringes everytime he thinks o f the pain.
My doctor told me during my last check up that there had been so many miracles with my pregnancy so thank you all for praying for the baby.
Monday, May 16, 2005
Friday, May 13, 2005
I think the baby looks a bit like Mark and a lot like Casper...
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Please pray for our baby that everythings ok with him.
Its actually weird that I am starting to get my mom. Although her nagging really gets on my nerves I try to shut up because I now feel what its like to worry about your child and not be able to do anything about it.
I'm a little sad that my baby isn't so big. I felt secretly proud everytime somebody noticed how big my belly has grown. I felt like the baby got Mark's appetite. How could I have known that it was mostly fluids? Maybe my baby just loves to swim....
Trying to fight the worry through intensive research. Thank God for the internet. The statistics help but my maternal instincts just wont quit harrassing me.
Friday, April 29, 2005
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Mark got his toga today. A full day ahead of almost everyone else and he's so proud about it. He's been parading around the shop this afternoon with his toga on. Too bad i was feeling too woozy to help him celebrate his victory with the toga. By the way, he got it ahead of time because he went straight to the supplier since he was late for the reservations.
"The last shall be first and the first shall be last."
Saw Nap and Brian at the gym this afternoon. Brian said hi to my tummy but the baby didn't want to move. According to Mark, "Natakot si baby kasi lalake siya." Bad bad.
I didn't realize how similar Nap and Nikki were until today. I can't point out why exactly pero magkapatid nga sila.
Mark just got back. Video's City's already closed. Bummer. I wonder how I'll spend the time again tonight.
Friday, April 08, 2005
"America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week."
- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)
Education in our country is in such a sorry state. Blame it on any of the following - bad teachers, bad materials, a bad educational system and lack of funds - and you wouldn't be wrong. Being a teacher myself i get so frustrated with the way the system works. But one thing that really bothers me is the utterly low salary that teacher receive. To give the clueless an idea, I worked as a substitute teacher in my alma mater and there received as compensation Php 8000 per month. If you think that's bad think again because CSI actually pays better than other private schools here in Los Baños. The two other schools I applied to paid Php 6500-7000 per month. And they had no other additional benefits (aside from SSS and those required by the law)! Hello!?! Pang janitor lang ata dapat yun. In defense of CSI, due to allowances and other benefits, their teachers' salary reach at least Php 10k each month. As for UP I think an instructor's salary starts at around Php 13-14K, which is still way low because were talking about our country's supposedly premier university. Of course one can always teach in Ateneo or UA&P and other universities that pay well or at least better. But then, they just hire the good teachers (like Pat) and so low paying institutions are left with the not so good teachers and a few good dedicated ones (like Po? :p ).
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Exactly what I needed to lift my spirits and to look at things with a proper perspective.
Still under bed rest though. i never imagined that bed "rest" could be so tiring and trying!
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Yes, I'm getting married. But no it't not just me. Mark'll walk down the aisle with me (except that I don't think that we'll be walking down the aisle). It's on the 28th at Pasig. Its a civil wedding so I'm sorry guys we had no intention of inviting anyone over kaya we kept it pretty much hush hush.
Anyway I announced it sa grade school group namin kaya Dale knew about this. What else? Oh, gifts are always welcome! Hehe!
Thursday, January 13, 2005
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Showed me how to...
-be forgiving and giving even towards people who have wronged you.
-be tolerant towards impertinent and bullheaded daughters.
-bear sorrow in silence.
-be there for someone despite a busy schedule.
Passed on his love for...
-Robert Ludlum along with the slight paranoia that comes from liking espionage stuff.
-spicy food, sleeping and water.
-riding fast motorcycles.
-Discovery Channel and National Geographic magazines.
-how to ride the bicycle.
-to appreciate corny jokes, though I tried not to show that I did.
-how to float.
-the weird dance that kids love.
Made our furniture. Spoiled me. Spanked me once a year. Let me know how much he loved me. With my sister as his sidekick, chased me with kisses until I got totally irritated and almost cried. Cried when I hurt him but never said an unkind word to me.
Sunday, January 09, 2005
1. New clothes - my clothes are starting to NOT fit. I want to feel good.
2. Go on a trip - a.k.a honeymoon (kahit 2-3 days lang)
3. See old friends - this is actually happening...feels great...
4. Be able to tell my mom and dad how much I appreciate their love.
5. Buy my sister her long due Christmas gift.
6. Surprise Mark with some pleasantly surprising surprise. Ideas anyone? Wag nyo dito post! :p
7. Find some time to exercise lightly but regularly. This would make someone who nags me sooo happy.
8. Be able to read the Bible regularly.
9. Find a thousand peso bill on a deserted sidewalk.
10. The awfully drool worthy new flatscreen G5.
11. A new phone.
12. Another weekend with Silas.
I'm sure there's more but this is all I can think of right now...
Dry post.. Sorry guys I had to fill my time before I got out of the office. Bye! It's 11pm. Yipee!