Wednesday, December 29, 2004

I just finished reading today's article in the online version of Our Daily Bread, a devotion guide that I grew up with. The article, entitled Incompatible?, reminded me of how important it is to deal with relationships in the right manner.

Although I am the type who generally gets along pretty well with almost anyone and everyone I meet, when I get really irked or someone rubs me the wrong way it's quite hard for me to give that person a second chance. I hold my few grudges very dearly... I don't scream at the person or act cold, rather as a civilized human being, I just stay away and keep my irritation or resentment bottled up deep inside. Mark feels extremely uncomfortable when I get this way because he says its just not like me. But the problem is, it is exactly like me. An excuse as lame as it is true.

Incompatible reminded me that in every relationship, and yes we do have a relationship with every person we've met, we have to show "compassion for one another, be tenderhearted, and be courteous...". It may sound daunting and even impossible to treat each and every person that comes our way in this manner. Yes, courtesy is pretty easy, but what about compassion and tenderheartedness? That is the challenge.

We have become such civilized, logical, practical people that sometimes there is little room left for love. We tend to box our lives and make little compartments where every relationship is labelled. I will do this much for relationships labelled A, only this much for type B relationships and I try so hard to close the lid on relationships labelled Z. We try to pretend that some people do not exist, afterall it must be better to ignore someone than have to deal with or forgive the *******. We have to open the lids to Z relationships and look at it closely. We have to learn not to run away from relationships we'd rather not have. We have to examine how to deal with incompatibilities and still show compassion and love.

I'm sure I'll choke on these words when I meet some of my "favorite" people. But hopefully it'll spur me to at least try little by little to learn to deal with them better.

"What counts most in creating a successful team is not how compatible its players are, but how they deal with incompatibility." -- Sports Illustrated

Monday, December 27, 2004

Holiday Blues

Christmas was a bit of a downer this year though I was happy to be home and see my family.

24th - Got home around 5pm. Rested some. Mom and Dad opened the gift we got them. It was pretty nice. Ate cooked some pasta. Didn't taste as good as she would've liked it to be but it was still good. Went to my Tita Mel's for noche buena. It was ok. The Clan was not complete though. Mark called me past 12. Felt good to hear his voice.

25th - My Uncle Noel died on Christmas Day... He's my dad's youngest brother. So Dad had to leave with Uncle Tony for Bicol. Bummer does not even come close... Oh God...

My sister and I spent most of Christmas day sleeping hoping that Silas could come open his gifts. Silas, of course, had to stay with his family.

26th - Didn't wake up in time for church. Mom came back at noon. Had lunch and lounged around. Ma and I went out to get book and test from Nikki. Twas nice to see a smile. Tried to find a gift for Ate but we weren't able to find one. Had a long chat with Criselle when I got home. Couldn't sleep. Went to Mommy's bed and slept beside her. Felt right. Three generations in one bed. Slept soundly...

27th - Was supposed to leave at 3am for Ate to get to work on time. Left at 11am instead... ;-) Hated to leave mom alone. Still got to office 15mins early.

I guess we won't go home for New Year. Ma will just go to QC to spend it with us.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

I feel sooo Christmassy....

I'll be home for Christmas...

Yipee! Its almost Christmas and I don't think I've looked forward to it this much. Mostly though I think its because I have'nt been home for a month now...Another thing that excites me is that this is the first time in years that the entire Balagtasclan will get together for Noche Buena. I miss those days...


Our office held our Christmas party last night. I was surprised that I actually had fun. All in all there were only 19 people who attended. Thats all the 14 tutors plus our sysAd, Manager, President and 2 visitors. Food was ok and place was ok. I think I had fun mostly because of the people. Our manager,Din, is utterly corny and yet proud of it, that most times I can't help but laugh. I think the work atmosphere here is good for me. I'm thriving... ^_^


On exchange gifts:
I actually got the gift I wanted! A jacket... My officemate, Carmen, gave me a jacket even if I put books and a blouse on my wishlist (nahiya ako ilista jacket kasi mahal...). She described me as the girl who's always cold so she thought it'd be more useful and personal. Isn't that nice?

On Compliments:
Everbody, including me, must feel happy when they find out that somebody had a crush on him/her, even if it was just a little crush. ^_^ Ego booster!

Dana, another coworker, gave me one weird compliment that I really liked. She told me, "You know what Hannah? I think you're strange in a kind of comforting way." Now that, was strange. Too late now but I think I should have answered, "You know what Dana? That was actually comforting in a really strange way."


Have a Great Christmas everybody!!!

Monday, December 13, 2004

Weepy Day

Darn it. This must be one of those days when everything just makes me feel more weepy. Thanks to Cel's email, which by the way is not in anyway sad, I got so weepy that I had to take time to blog just so I can stop myself from looking like a fool in the office. I miss a simple and bummish life. ^_^

The other day as I got off the train at Shaw, I saw a group of men singing carols. They were singing acapella and they were great. They looked really dignified too in their sparkling violet barongs. I looked around for the donation box just to know what their gig was all about. To my pleasant surprise there was none. Now, i thought, that is real carolling... Their voices and the gesture of giving busy people something to appreciate touched me so much that I had to swallow a lot to stop the sobs as I went down the steps of the MRT station.

Today I'm a little unhinged again. I'm not really sad but I can't help it. Its funny how somedays everything can be so ordinary yet wonderful, the future so promising and exciting yet so tiring, and that day so hard to survive. Oh well, it is one of those days...