Celebrating the True Meaning of Christmas with a Hymn

Merry Christmas everyone!



AMAZING GRACE

Amazing grace! (how sweet the sound)
That sav'd a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears reliev'd;
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believ'd!

Thro' many dangers, toils, and snares,
I have already come;
'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promis'd good to me,
His word my hope secures;
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures.

Yes, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease;
I shall possess, within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,
The sun forbear to shine;
But God, who call'd me here below,
Will be forever mine.

- John Newton, Olney Hymns, 1779 -

Jumpin' juniper it's a jolly January!

So far this year has been a good one for me. Considering that it's just the first month optimists would say that it bodes well for a good year while pessimists would say something like "wait till you see what the rest of the year of holds for you (with accompanying smirk of course)". Today the optimist in me has won and I am looking forward to more blessings, surprises, and little triumphs this year.

Short list (with long detailed explanations/descriptions) of things to be thankful for this January.

Sam's reaction to fireworks. Although we spent New Year's eve in Bay where there weren't that much fireworks Sam enjoyed himself extremely. His reaction to the pops are much faster and he can now spot the fireworks faster when we point them out to him. Yun nga lagn super nabitin cya kasi medyo konti lang fireworks. He ended up turning and twisting everytime he heard a bang eh paputok lang naman or it was too far away to see!

Long Wendy's chikkahan with Angel complete with laughs, a few tears, and lots of fast talking. Got to see Frank Miller's Spirit that night too. Angel and I decided to go for it after Mark read that the director was 300's director. Real reason: the ABS! The first few minutes didn't disappoint us in this regard and since we went in with absolutely no idea what it was about (I thought it was a horror flick...hehe) we were pleasantly surprised with the whole movie. It was a real laugh, though I'm not sure if it was really supposed to be a comedy either.

Cris Tanseco's wedding and reunion with the girls. I absolutely loved everything about Cris' wedding. So far it's the best one I've attended (that includes mine ha...hehe). There really is something to say for intimate weddings. The number of guests were very limited - close friends and family only. The chapel was nice (Jas loved it but am not to huge a fan of white and gold), the priest was a hunk, his message was short, refreshing and insightful, the wedding vows so heartfelt, the food delicious from the soup to the dessert to the martini, and the couple so in love and perfect for each other it will literally make you go awww. The wedding was all about the vows, sharing the happy moment with loved ones, and simply enjoying the moment. It really was the most relaxing wedding I've ever been to. Am going to post pics next time. Ay thank you Gel for letting Jas and I raid your closet. Hehe.

A "new" nephew. A cousin has met his son for the first time and we absolutely love the little boy. He looks so much like Silas and acts like him too! Am glad for my cousin that he's finally met his little boy. Always better late than never. ^_^

Productivity with Sunlife. I am still far from being the most productive Sunlife agent but at least this year started with a couple of settled apps. Here's to being more productive this year and to becoming a better agent ( disipline + courage + persistence = better ). I have the product knowledge and genuinely care about my clients' interest so all I really need to work on is becoming a sales person. Hehe. Big challenge. Doable. Help!

Lost pounds. Am extremely happy that despite not sticking to my diet due to the Christmas vacation I still managed not to go back to heaviest weight and kept the five pounds I lost prior to Christmas. Hurraz!!!!

Relationship with Mark. We're being nicer to each other. That may seem like a funny statement to be thankful for but it is really significant because to me it means that we...

• want to please each other more
• are more concerned about each other's feelings
• have grown a bit more matured
• are learning how to express our love (and frustrations) in a way the other person will understand
• are journeying towards a better marriage each day.

It truly is living more for the other person than yourself. In the end no one loses out because you both end up giving and loving more and more. Sheesh. Seems elementary but those of you who aren't married should just wait to see why it takes more work than batting your eyes at each other and saying sweet nothings (though that is extremely important too!)

First Phone Ever

Was about to log off but I remembered that I need to blog about my first phone ever. No, I've had a phone since 2nd year high school (Phillips Fizz pa nun!) but that was really a family phone that they let me take to school since they wanted to make sure I was safe each time I had to take the bus alone all the wya home to Laguna. I've also had a few phones since then but they were all hand-me-downs from my sister who happens to like changing phones and getting a newer model every few years. It's not that I've been completely broke for more than a decade to buy a new phone but I've always taken pride in being practical. This time though Silas' phone (3310 pa po), which I've been borrowing for a month now just won''t cooperate with my cheapness anymore "forcing" me to allow Mark to buy me my first ever truly new phone.

I absolutely love my new phone (Nokia 7310). It's pink, has a mirror surface, and has all the basic stuff I need in my phone (text messaging, a calculator, calendar, alarm clock, and notes). It also has some extra stuff but though I like them I just need my basics. The plus factor is the cam since I can now take pics of Sam anytime anywhere. Its also really good for me that its a new model since it can last me another 5 years or maybe more unless Sam manages to learn to start dunking stuff in the toilet bowl (in which case I'd be glad to have a phone messed up just to see my son a big enough boy to get in silly troubles).

Thanks Mark. You do know when to push me to stop being too cheap. Hehe. I love your Crhistmas gift! Tons better than the electronic toothbrush (though I did like that too! Hehe.) ^_^

Thinking about it though I still haven't ever bought my own phone yet. Maybe before I turn 40 I would but myself a new one...or maybe I can just keep on waiting for Mark to get tired of my phones breaking down and letting him buy me one for a gift. That's what husbands are for afterall, right? :p

Sam's Little Steps Towards Success

This makes it all worth it....

Look, I got new AFOs and orthopedic shoes!

I can stand!

...and do so with a huge smile on my face!!!

Tito Paul is funny...

...kaya sasabunutan ko sya.

At the end of the day what makes it worth it is not just Sam's ability to walk but his desire to walk and the smiles that comes with it. Now he loooves to stand when playing with us. Still not for long periods but long enough to tire US out. Oh, and he loves "singing" with me as well.

Yesterday's Miracle

Yesterday turned out to be one of the best days our family had in years. It didn't start out great it didn't end up great either but all the negative aspects doesn't hold a candle to the huge miracle we saw first-hand. SAM TOOK HIS FIRST (assisted) STEPS. Considering the fact that we have a really hard time even getting him to kneel or stand it was totally amazing to see him move his legs in a weird-looking but definitely real small steps with minimal assistance (the therapist was just holding him up by the head).

I almost had no hope of seeing Sam walk within the year but maybe he will. Paul Beelen (a paediatric rehab specialist) is a miracle worker. A single session with him will burn your pockets but what you get in return is priceless. I'll see if Mark can cut the videos we took and share the ones where Sam moved his legs.

Other noticeable improvements that I might not have reported to all my friends lately include:

• Sam feeding himself lunch/dinner using his hands. It's REALLY messy though.
• Sam's one-eyed peek-a-boo. He can't resist peeking so he covers only one eye!
• Sam's ability to kneel from a sitting position with minimal assistance (but only if you know how to prompt him and if he knows he can't manipulate you into thinking he's too weak for it ^_^)
• Sam's ability to keep the quadruped position (all fours) for more than 15 minutes completely unassisted.

If you have a special child you will understand why we consider these seemingly trivial things a really big deal.

I remember something I saw on TV lately. They said that people said that people viewed the survival of a very ill baby to be a miracle but the truth is that we who have children with special needs know that the true miracle is that there are thousands of babies born everyday that are completely healthy and without defect. We are thankful for our miracle boy but I just want to remind all of you who are parents to never forget the miracle you have and be thankful for it.

Have a good day and I hope you see a little miracle in your life today!

Valentines Day

This day is going pretty well. Mark and I have no plans at all since he is in the office rushing some project. It started out pretty well though with Mark greeting me before we went to bed last night (madaling araw pala) and this morning before he left for work. Considering how we often forget to celebrate occasions I actually feel good about this one. Even with Mark busy I feel like this time he just really needs to work but would rather spend some time with me and Sam. That feels good. Besides we get to save money. Hehe. In this case it really is the thought that counts. I love you Mark!

I am also getting a little bit better about waking up and haven't been spending the entire day in bed. My energy levels are slowly increasing and I don't feel really hopeless. I really do hope this lasts. I hate going back to the deep dark pit of depression. It's inexplicably horrible.

On another note I have decided to start sending a forwarded text messages now and then. My ninang/tita El sent me a very encouraging message the other night and it made me feel good. It made me remember one of my conversations with another mommy friend. After not seeing each other for months she thanked me for sending her inspirational messages about once or twice a month. She said that they usually arrived at a time when she felt really low and discouraged but she never replied because during those times she just didn't know how to tell her troubles. It's kind of funny since I almost never reply to Ava or Armi (two of the most frequent people to forward text messages to me). I always say na kuripot lang ako sa text but the truth is I too don't know what to say. My point is I realize that as long as I don't end up spamming people I should pass those forwarded messages or come up with my own inspirational quotes since you never know who needs it that day. It's also a good way to let people know that you think about them now and then.

I'm just rambling.

Happy valentines everyone!

Therapy Photos and Mommy Talk

Thanks to Ninang Cherry's phone we finally have recent photos of Sam. There are really cool videos but I don't feel like uploading them tonight. Anyway here's Sam with his teacher and one of him with his anti-social classmate. You can see how strong he's getting and even though staying upright in all fours might not be a big deal for many 2 yr old kids we're so proud of his progress with his arm and leg strength. Hopefully he'll be able to walk before he turns four. I would be ecstatic if he does it by the time he turns three but realistically my goal is to see him stand with minimal assistance by then. Sam is actually standing on the pic where he's holding up a toy ring. He has a horrible time being held up but at least he actually bears some weight on his soles now. What a fighter my boy is. I'm so proud of him. By the way I intentionally chose the blurred picture of his classmate because I have no permission to post his pic. It's actually funny because Sam has been able to "bully" two of his classmates since last week. I guess I shouldn't worry much about him being bullied when he grows up. He was able to make a much bigger boy cry by sticking his stubby fingers into the boy's nose although to be fair the kid has cerebral palsy so him and Sam sitting together made for two floppy boys. (Note: It isn't funny making other kids cry especially when they feel helpless. I can't explain it but it was ok that time.) He was able to make the little boy in the photo below cry simply by sitting beside the kid since that cute little boy (he's one of my favorite classmate of Sam's) is scared of small kids. Believe it or not even at his age Sam is already helping other kids by cooperating with his teacher in trying to draw out the less sociable kids at therapy. It's great to see him grow.

Sam doing the quadruped.
Sam only needs minimal support in this position.

Sam playing with toy rings while Teacher Con
corrects his standing position. Look no tears!

Sam's classmate (who is already able to walk) making his getaway.

Help Has Arrived

These past couple of weeks have been really good for me. I never realized that things could turn around so fast for me. I know that in reality things have already been in the upswing for sometime but something in me was unable to fully appreciate the blessings in my life. It's so hard to explain and impossible for those who haven't gone through what I have to really grasp what I am saying but still I just want to share the fact that life really does not have to look impossibly bleak. There's always battles to be fought but it doesn't have to all be an uphill climb.

I guess all I really want to say (without going into details) is - GET HELP. It really does make a difference.

For me help has arrived and after two weeks of being a spoiled and pampered momma it's time to help myself again.

Thanks Mark. I will be strong again...someday. :p

The One Who Gave Me Life...

...is celebrating her birthday today! Yes. Our birthday is just a day apart. My sister and I will be going home this weekend to have a grand clan birthday celebration since there'll be six birthday celebrant this August in our [maternal] clan.

To help my mom celebrate her birthday I'm going to make her a blog this weekend and teach my dad how to blog for her. She still has trouble with her eye (that was operated on and got infected) so she needs my dad to help her out. She told me that she wants to learn to blog so a blogger she will be! That is so cool. Expect to see a link to my mom's blog next week. It'll be pink since it is her favorite color (teehee) and be full of wise words and verses. I hope she ends up being active in the cyberworld.

Happy birthday Ma! And though Ate and I are really stupid for being unable to say it to your face we love you so much and are thankful to have a mom as rigidly God-fearing as you are. We're sorry for all the heart break we keep on causing you. Now if only I can get the guts to actually let her know someday not just through a card....

Early Birthday

Got my first birthday card a few days early. I know it's from Samsung and I got it because of our aircon's warranty but it still cheers me up. It cheers me up enough to link to their website! I guess this means that their oh so obvious marketing technique works. Though some people might not like getting emails like these I actually love getting cards from brands I really do patronize. Last year my birthday card was from my bank (it wasn't an e-card but a real one) and I kept it like it was from a friend. LOL. I think I've lost it though sometime during our multiple moves. I wonder if they'll be sending me one this year. So silly but I think I'll start collecting commercial cards or whatever you call them. I'm serious about this. Hmmm. I wish though that they sent me that phone instead of the e-card. ^_^ Oh well. Happy advance birthday to me!

Sam Update

Sam has been showing some progress lately. It's really a blessing since I've secretly been worrying and feeling a little down because of all the medical complications and his way too slow progress. Since Friday though he's been amazing us with some significant (at least for him it is) improvements. Latest developments include:

1. Ability to tilt forward while sitting until his head reaches his feet and then stretch out a bit so he can lie face flat on the bed. He still gets all muddled up with this one though and ends up with a leg or an arm stuck underneath so I need to push him a bit to help him get going.

2. Ability to hit his telephone toy with the receiver to get it to make sounds. This is a really big deal because it means that he's learning to use tools. The funny thing though is that sometimes he hits the back of the phone but since it's face down the buttons underneath get pushed and it still makes sounds.

3. Even better than number two was when Sam put his tiny fingers together, pointed it towards the phone toy and then tried to push the buttons with his fingers! He finally understands that you are supposed to hit the buttons for the phone to beep and say "Hello!" and "Goodbye"! Woohoo! I've been showing Sam how to play with it since he was 4 months so it really is rewarding to see him playing with it on his own. It's really a good sign too that he is finally developing problem solving skills.

4. And last is his overall behavior. He now knows how to complain by making cute shouting sounds when he's uncomfortable or needs attention. This is really good since he never used to complain even if his nappies are really soaked or full of poop. But though he knows how to complain more he's been very good during the last two therapy sessions and cried very very little and almost never complained. It's really surprising since we've been absent for more than a month due to his bouts of pneumonia. He is so much more alert and active now. I'm so proud of my boy.

And now... pictures! The pictures were taken this morning before Mark left for work. Notice that on the third one Sam is sitting very straight and is slightly leaning forward. His balance is getting really good! ^_^

Still asleep. Look at those arms! I'm glad he's getting thin.

Great wake up call from Mommy and Papa.

See me sit. Hindi pa ako nasusuklayan!

Cyber Romance

This is a good day. Opened my inbox and found a link to this.

Made me remember when I got mad at Mark when we were still in college. He sent me on a mini-treasure hunt when I arrived at school. Our Apphy classmates (I remember Alvin Tapia in particular) excitedly "helping me" find the clue and decode it by hand since I didn't get the fact that I was just supposed to click on the butterfly in the powerpoint presentation to be able to decode it. In the end the treasure hunt lead to this webpage (am so happy it still exists) and to dinner that night with Joe Cool (the McDonalds Happy Meal toy that I really liked).

I love it when my husband's geekiness is used for corny romantic stuff. It makes me fall in love again. Hihi. ^_^

Sam in Hospital - It's OK

As I expected the doctor wanted to have Sam confined, which is why we didn't want him checked till we had the card with us. Nothing to worry about though. It's just pneumonia again, which is something we're pretty used to. Sam is a fighter anyway and is probably basking in all the attention the doctors are giving him. As always we get really good service and doctors pay real attention because they're pretty happy to be able to handle someone with Sam's condition (not pneumonia sillies but PWS). Anyway I am actually happy since we now have a pedia-pulmo for Sam and he's been endorsed for a sleep study. Hopefully Maxicare approves it. Now we only have to wait for the Maxicare doctors to request for an EEG, CT Scan and Reflux Studies. Hihi. The insurance company will end up hating us. I'm pretty sure though the doctors will be very accommodating again. Thank God for this provision.

Oh and BTW Sam is in Makati Med. Visitors are welcome as long as you bring ME some magazines or cold drinks. ^_^

Lucky Me

I won two tickets to the advance screening of this:


Yay! Lucky me! ^_^

Old Friends

One of the things I really do love about growing older is that friendships grow older too. Like good wine friendships become more potent and a lot better as it grows old. You drink from it rarely but just a few drops is enough for you to gain a better appreciation of life.

Been meeting up with my old friends lately, namely Jae, Luz, Jas, and Thea. It was all so nice and all the visits perked me up so much. But I am most happy because of my chat with Thea a few minutes ago. it was very substantial and deep. This was how it ended:

Thea: I love you girl! [smile]
me: love u too [smile]
Thea: ngiti lang lagi. hehehehehe
me: byeee
ikaw din and wag ka na tlga mag aasawa ha... unless hunky Jew who loves you
babush!
Thea: hunky rich jew
me: yup
dont ever forget the rich part!

Where else will you find deeper conversation. BTW we have always been partial to the semitic race even way back in high school. They just so oohlalable...

Recap of Last Year

All my posts this year have been pretty stupid so far. Anyway to get things going I decided to post a recap of last year's blog pretty much the same way a lot of us did back in January 2006. So here's the first few lines of each first post for each month last year.

BTW I should be writing a really special article right now but since I want it to be really perfect I'm all stuck so as usual I'm procrastinating. :p

January
So much and yet so little has been going on in my life that I've been all muddled up and couldn't post anything for some time now. I didn't feel like anything was worth posting. (This seems to happen every year but this time my reason is laziness and not the lack of stuff to post about)

February
Too little time to blog what I meant to... (so I posted an online quiz result)

March
Makikigaya na rin ako. Am interested in finding out how others perceive me. (on the Johari/Nohari Window)

April
We just found out that Sam was actually misdiagnosed. (Best news ever)

May
Bye Tube. Sam has been without a tube for almost 2 weeks now.

June
This is a me post because I am feeling happier each day.

July
Todays are ok, even great. Its the yesterdays that bog me down.

August
Happy Birthday...to me!

September
In Love. Most days you just plod through life going through the motions...Today is not like most days.

October
Life can be really tiring. I sometimes just get sick of going to Sam's doctors paying all those fees for a tiny ray of hope.

November
I saw Mark's Halloween post and nainggit ako. So I decided to post my fave Halloween pic of me and my baby plus other pics na rin.

December
I have a party dress. We've been planning on attending the OCS Christmas Party for weeks now.

*****
Looking back, the tone of my 2006 posts were WAY better than that of 2005's. Just goes to show that things really did start looking up for us last year. I am so grateful for all the blessings the past year especially regarding Sam's health and our marriage/romantic life's great improvement. It seems that we saw bottom last 2005 and there's no way but up. I'm really excited about what this year has in store for our little family. At least now I know that we can survive extremely hard blows in life and come out the better for it. Hardships really do make you stronger. But not only that, they also leave you with greater faith and a better appreciation for life. Here's to an even better year for everybody!!!