Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Down

He has recurring pneumonia and has feeding problems. Symptoms are to long to list down and I’m feeling really down today. Got turned down for a job for the frst time in my life and I’m just really. Need to get back to the hospital but i needed to log on and write some in here to feel a little better. Not working very well but at least I’m thinking. People tell me maybe its because I should be with my baby. I guess they’re right. And in some way I am happy and a little relieved I wasn’t accepted so I can be with Sam. But right now I just feel down. Being rejected hurts (my pride) and makes me feel less confident. I feel like a housewife ONLY. Aw shoot. I want to cry but I can’t. I wan’t my baby to get well but he’s still sick. I don’t want them to give him electric shocks or to or prick him and all that stuff. I hate him suffering. I hate that I can’t help but think of the finances. I hate that I’m scared to be “stuck with my baby” when I know I want to be with him. I hate being contrary. I just hate this feeling. I feel down…

5 comments:

angel said...

Hi Mommy Han!

Stay strong po. Sorry I can't be with you as much as I would like to. But I just want to let you know that Sam and you and Papa Nyark are in my prayers. Lagi :)

ives said...

same here, han. don't worry, everything will turn out to be fine, just trust god to be there for you.l

jas said...

Han, I'm sure you'll get through all this. Right now Sam needs you to be strong and so does Mark so hold on mommy Han. Trials make you stronger, right?

JAm said...

han, this is nothing but another bump in the road, ya? be strong. my prayers are with you always. :j

tseri said...

sweetie, this too shall come to pass. be strong! don't worry much about the finances, it's just money as i always say. if you need help, just ask. what's important is that you be with sam, ok? ikaw lang mommy nya e, wala nang iba. sa yo lang sya aasa. you're the best mom na! there's no doubt about that. :)