Someone just *saved me today. Thank you for being online when no one else was. Thank you for just letting me say how lonely I was and not asking me why. And thank you for telling me that you trust me to keep myself alright... I needed to hear that because I've lost my faith in me.

#16-20

16. Shopping for groceries.
17. Learning to cook a new dish and it tasting good too.
18. Surfing the net while everyone’s asleep.
19. Watching makeover shows like Ambush Makeover, Extreme Homemakeover and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy/Girl.
20. Personal emails in my inbox.

See more progress on: identify 100 things that make me happy (besides money)

PGH Pics

Sam with his toys. He can now sound the letter L (no really he can..hindi tyamba) thanks to his Granny's coaching and Lion (Tita Ava's gift).

At home sa PGH. Who the heck took this pic?
See si Lion talaga favorite nya. Yun nga lang tingin ng iba imitation Pink Panther cya or tiger na may bonnet.

Tito Jae helping Baby Sam "drink" his milk. Yum?

Auntie Pearl got over her hospital hangup in order to visit Sam almost everyday.
That's Sam's Mama Lola in the background.

Scattered blog...straight from a scatterbrain

Sam is a high maintenance baby. He should not be left alone even fo r a few minutes because he might pull out his nasal feeding tube. He really does love to pull on it! Its weird but i find it cute. He also loves to talk, talk and talk when he’s awake. I feel so guilty because I do neglect him since he is sooo well behaved. I run around doing the laundry or fixing the room or even just simply texting or watching the TV! My bad! I’m so sorry Sam. My batteries are low and am starting to spiral down down down. I love Sam so much and I like to give him hugs and kisses but I think I’m not a fun mom at all.

I know I’ve got to get more organized and get my energy level up so I can cope. Oh hopeless me… however will I do that?

See more progress on: be a good mom

Sam

My baby is a victim of SMA. The doctor said he has 18 months to live. Been looking all over the net for support and information and have found some. but there is none in my country or even in Asia that I’ve seen. My baby’s neurologist is encouraging me to start a support group or association to help other families who are dealing with or will be dealing with SMA. I do plan to start one but I really don’t know how. No experience. But I am determined. This disability will not rob me of my son. My baby might someday fly away to his new home but he will leave a legacy in here and he will always be with me—deep down in the fibers of my soul.

See more progress on: Start a Spinal Muscular Atrophy Association in the Philippines

Gameplan

Stay at home and take care of Sam.
Make Sam's life as happy as possible.
Focus on the joys not the sorrow.
Pray, pray and pray that he doesn't suffer much.
Pray, pray and pray for a miracle ( if only he'll survive to sit in a wheelchair ).
Prepare for our goodbye.
When we do say goodbye remember that someday I'll see him again and get to kiss and hug him.

Still hardest thing to do is to let go...

How we feel...

Thank you everyone for your support and prayers. Thank you for sharing the pain and wanting to ease our minds but as Mark posted (and removed)...

"It's Sam. not anyone else. it's SMA, not something else. It's 18 months, and not a few years. We were explicitly told to expect death, and not just the "worst".

Of course we have faith, faith that God knows what his plans are for Sam, whether he takes him home early or not. Faith is not just about believing that God can, coz the truth is he always can. Faith is also about trusting that sometimes he won't, if that's His will, and faith is all about that: His will."

As my OB said, "Lord, Your Will. Nothing more, nothing less, nothing else."

I guess Mark must have removed his comment because he thought it sounded offensive of ungreatful. But its true. So I posted it without permission and hopefully he doesn't get mad... And I do hope you understand.

SMA

Short article on SMA. The reality of it. So scary but we've got to face it or we can't fight it. I want to give Sam a happy life though short it might be.

CHILDREN BORN WITH SPINAL MUSCULAR ATROPHY FACE A SHORT AND DIFFICULT LIFE. HOW THAT LIFE IS SPENT IS THE PARENTS' DIFFICULT DECISION. It is among the deadliest genetic disorders to strike children younger than 2. Yet most parents have never heard of spinal muscular atrophy....

***
Sam - Mommy and Papa loves you.

Its confirmed...

our 4 month old baby has infantile spinal muscular atrophy. The doctor says he has around 18 months to live. But i don’t want to lose hope. She says that some have managed to live till 16years with the help of a ventilator. Got to find one immediately. I need to think, to act and be busy. Its so unreal. Its just so unreal. Please pray for us. Please pray for Sam.

See more progress on: be a good mom

Please Pray for this.

My baby might have Spinal Muscular Atrophy. Please pray that h’ll test negative. We need all he prayers. I guess I do pray more often now.

See more progress on: pray more often

#11-15

Today i NEED to do this to lift my spirits.

11. 43 things
12. Sam’s little tongue flickering in and out.
13. Being alone in a peaceful place with huge trees and a clear sky.
14. Window shopping.
15. A steaming bowl of sinigang with red hot siling labuyo on fish sauce.

See more progress on: identify 100 things that make me happy (besides money)

Down

He has recurring pneumonia and has feeding problems. Symptoms are to long to list down and I’m feeling really down today. Got turned down for a job for the frst time in my life and I’m just really. Need to get back to the hospital but i needed to log on and write some in here to feel a little better. Not working very well but at least I’m thinking. People tell me maybe its because I should be with my baby. I guess they’re right. And in some way I am happy and a little relieved I wasn’t accepted so I can be with Sam. But right now I just feel down. Being rejected hurts (my pride) and makes me feel less confident. I feel like a housewife ONLY. Aw shoot. I want to cry but I can’t. I wan’t my baby to get well but he’s still sick. I don’t want them to give him electric shocks or to or prick him and all that stuff. I hate him suffering. I hate that I can’t help but think of the finances. I hate that I’m scared to be “stuck with my baby” when I know I want to be with him. I hate being contrary. I just hate this feeling. I feel down…

See more progress on: be a good mom

First Two...

1. My sister – she won’t tell me the avatar she used though. i guess she must have put in something like get married and have babies…hehe… or better yet—Be like my wonderful sister! Twonk.
2. Marseille – One of my friends said she’s doing 43things now i guess i also have towo find her here.

See more progress on: Get 43 people to try 43things!

Neopets

Its been some time since I last visited Neopets. All my 3 pets are dying but my stocks have soared. Hihi. Guess which matters more? Anyway there have been some changes and I really like Neopie Centrals' "new" look. Oh so pretty pretty... And Neolodge looks like a lodge!!! Love it!

i love 43 things

43 things is one of the best web communities I’ve ever joined. Its really uplifting, encouraging, fun and helps me to stay focused and to keep on trying to reach my few but important (at least to me) list of things I want to be able to do.

So i guess i should spread the love (like we did with the Ubuntu installers, thanks to a friend) and hope that people will also have fun with 43things.

So if you join 43things after reading this and seeing it for yourself please do tell me so I can start counting...

See more progress on: Get 43 people to try 43things!

Still am not swimming: My lame but valid(?) excuses

I’m so busy with my new baby and our struggling business that I neither have time nor energy to swim at all, not to mention no money too. Another problem of mine is my swimsuit. You see I had this great 2 piece gray with pink piping sporty swimsuit which I wore during my pre-pregnancy days. It fits me fine again but one look at my horrible stretchmarks would make anybody want to turn away (that is if they’re polite :p). And if you think that I should just buy a new one remember: new baby+sick baby+struggling business=no money. ^_ Am pretty sure we would get through this rough patch…i just hope it would be sooner than soon. I miss swimming!!!

See more progress on: swim regularly

#6-10

6. Sleeping in on rainy days
7. Watching action movies
8. “Talking” to my 3 month old baby.
9. Tidying up/organizing my desk.
10. Long and fun conversations with other new moms.

See more progress on: identify 100 things that make me happy (besides money)

Picking up my lazy butt...

If I were catholic the sin i would be most guilty of is SLOTH. I am lazy lazy lazy… I loooove to sleep and lounge around doing nothing productive. So I’ve got to kick my bad habits. I want to be a good mom. I’ve got to wake up when I don’t want to. Clean up when its the last thing I’d rather do. Plan OUR day, plan OUR week, plan OUR life.

“The most important thing she’d learned over the years was that there was no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.”
~ Jill Churchill

See more progress on: be a good mom

100 Things that make me happy (besides money) #1-5

Its about time I started this list… ^_

1. Chocolate Chip Cookies
2. Doing laps (very slowly) in a steaming swimming pool.
3. Reading books.
4. Tickling my hubby.
5. Clean sheets.

Part 2 … to come..

See more progress on: identify 100 things that make me happy (besides money)

Waaa..Huli sa Balita!!!

Bakit ngayon lang ako bumisita sa blog nyo? Huhu... At least mukhang mas huli pa sakin si Mark. Hehe. I won't tell him. Congrats to both of you!! Welcome to the ever colorful, wonderful and stressful married life. ^_^

Tama ata...

Got the link from Nikki's blog. Took the test. Antok na ko...

You are a Social Moderate (50% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (33% permissive) You are best described as a: Centrist Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Updates

Shop Update

Shop finally reopened yesterday with Ubuntu as our OS. I like the new look since it feels familiar to our regular customers. Of course Mark and Mars had to do alot of tweaking to make it look that way -- clean desktop, good old dock with new icons for the new apps and the XP background (hehe). The only thing thats really noticable is the missing start menu but since our regular customers are so used with the dock most don't mind its non-existence. Here's a screenshot of the default Ubuntu desktop.

And the new desktop theme.

Wanda the Fish

One of the apps I asked Mark to put on the dock was Wanda the Fish. I don't know if any of the customers have dicovered her yet (aside from Armi who doesn't count since I pointed out Wanda to her just now). Wanda is supposed to be a fortune teller who spouts out "words of wisdom". Here are some of my favorites....

**
To be or not to be. -- Shakespeare
To do is to be. -- Nietzsche
To be is to do. -- Sartre
Do be do be do -- Sinatra
**
Q: What does an insomniac agnostic dyslexic do at night?
A: Stay up all night and wonder if there is a dog.
**
Nikki's first fortune
...You have a strong appeal to members of your own sex.
**
The fortune that made Armi gasp...
... argh sorry we forgot what it was exactly...

Sam Update

As Mark said Sam is finally home. But being the gala that he is we went out again today to see his alternative doctor. No biggie, just a routine checkup. All the same I was really nervous today because I had a sinking feeling that the doctor would get just a bit mad at me because I OVERDOSED MY BABY FOR A FEW DAYS!!! Yes, bad mom alert!!! ( But hell if any of you feel like agreeing with that statement shut up and keep it to yourself my self-esteem doesn't need your opinion right now.) It was only just this morning that my mom realized that the dropper we were using said mg and not mL. Instead of giving him 1.2mL of medicine (equivalent to around 50mg) 3 times a day I gave him 120mg of medicine 3 times a day!!! Imagine how bad I felt. I was so nervous and I felt so bad because I was the one who started using that dropper since it was the dropper that went with the medicine package even if Sam's doctor told me to use the same medicine dropper I used for his vitamins. I was however calm enough to immediately think back and try to remember Sam's reaction to the medicine for the past few days. Since he seemed ok I did not panic. I looked for the medicine box and turned it inside out to read on it. My stomach turned even more sour when I realized just how grossly overdosed my baby was. However the overdose part didn't say anything about adverse effects except that it instructed me to stop medicating the baby immediately. And since it didn't say anything about rushing the baby to the doctor I decided to put it off for a few more hours until the appointed checkup. Well good news to everybody, most of all to me, the doctor said Sam's ok and that it is even common practice to double dose a patient with that medicine when the infection is really bad. Although by the time Sam was taking that medicine his infection was that bad anymore it didn't cause him any trouble. If anything it even helped soften his poopoo since one of the possible side effects was diarrhea, but since Sam is usually slightly constipated it just helped ease his bowel movement. And the other "side effect" -- Sam's lungs are totally clear. ^_^

Sam's hospital pics (magaling na siya sa lahat nito.)

Hope Springs

Music has a way of feeding my tired parched soul and reminding me of what's important in life.

A few minutes ago, as I listened to some old songs, 2 miracles happened.

Miracle #1: Falling in love with my husband all over again.

I've been going through so much lately that I've long lost my focus and forgot what really matters. I couldn't see through the cloud of despair hanging over me. Deep within me I've been running scared and was afraid to even hope that this difficult chapter in life will ever come to an end. And rather unfortunately and very much unfairly I've been taking most of my frustration out on the one person who understood and loved me the most, my husband. Our relationship, like all relationships, need a lot of work but because of all the problems that's been testing our strength ours have been falling to pieces little by little for some time now. And no matter what front I put up before other people the truth was that I had given up. But for all his faults, Mark has always been consistent in one thing -- his desire to make things work out between us. He's been wooing me and trying to make me see the positive side of life, wanting me to believe in myself, in us and in life again. And though he tried I kept on vacillating between being too down, too scared and too stubborn to listen to him. This morning, as I listened to an old song I used to like but never really related too, I finally heard what Mark has been trying to say. Even more importantly I finally felt ready to believe that we should and could make it work, not just for Sam but because we do love each other. And as corny as it may seem, love is really the one thing that matters.

The song that spoke to me.

Miracle #2: I felt like dancing the way I used to.

Its been such a long time since I felt like dancing just because I felt happy. A few months back I remember dancing in the shop but it was more because I was feeling a little crazy and idiotic. But to dance because I felt carefree is a thing of the past for me, I've let myself grow old and it shriveled up the part of me I loved -- the part that sees the world with rose colored glasses and loves all mankind, that part that rarely gets to peek out, the part that I miss so much. Right now its five thirty in the morning, usually an ungodly hour for me. I'm in the hospital taking care of my sick little Sam and hearing Mark snore on the other bed but everything is alright. I am not tired. I am not sleepy. I am not sad. For the first time since I can't remember when I feel like dancing again. I feel that for a few minutes at least I found myself again, unstained and whole. I found the child in me.

Music that I can't wait to dance to with Sam when he grows up. I hope that one of the things I'll be able to give to my child is the joy of dancing with oneself.

**blogged using a cellphone, an index card and a pencil borrowed from the nurses' station

Nurses' Pet

Sam is back in the hospital. He has pneumonia and has a really hard time breathing but as usual is taking it all in stride. My baby is sooo well behaved (compared to other babies -- at least that what other parents and the nurses say) that he still managed to smile at his doctor during his checkup yesterday although he must having been feeling really unwell. During his blood tests he just made a few "mini-crying" sounds for a few seconds before going back to sleep. The only time he cried loudly (which also lasted for just a few seconds) was when the nurse was inserting the IV on his right foot. Of course we were delighted because it was the first time we ever heard him shout that loud thus diluting the hurt we felt in seeing our baby suffer. Mas nakakaawa pa cya tingnan when he bears all the pain with a slight frown on his face and a few very faint whimpers. It can break your heart. Kaya naman he's fast becoming the nurses' favorite. Mabait na super cute pa.


Here are a few pics ni Sam downloaded from Armi's phone:

I don't know when this was taken pero mukhang nung first day ni Sam to.


He looks like a puppy.


Bottom View. Taken by Mark the other night.

Gamis Family Hands


My Angel.

Mars dropped by the shop today with Alison and Armi. They went to Bonito's to eat lunch (treat ni Mars kasi bday nya bukas! Happy bday Mars. ^_^) and I followed after giving Sam his milk. After much kwentuhan the topic turned to computer games. And I started reminiscing....

There are three games I really got into (aside from minesweeper and Zuma...hehe): Sims, Tropico and Heroes. There were other games I liked but not as much as those 3. I liked Sim City, Zeus, Populus (which I sucked at), Utopia, Neopets and all those windows games. I tried playing Starcraft and those bang bang guns games but I sucked at anything real time kasi natataranta ako lagi since my reflexes seem to be really slow. I also played Oz, the first game level-up games released, and Ragnarok , that gaming phenomenon in the Philippines where you do nothing but click your mouse to kill a monster and somehow feel satisfied when you level up without having to use much of your gray matter. Oh how I love games but nothing comes close to my top three.

With Sims it s all about the houses (Oh beautiful houses) and having a great virtual career. In Sims I got my dream of becoming a lounge singer ( I made sure that that Sim didnt advance beyond being a lounge singer), I became a criminal, an astronaut, a soccer super star and alot of other things. But mostly its about the house. I love beautiful houses and I dream of having a few of my own . Maybe that's why I love watching Extreme Home Makeover so much.


**train of thought interrrupted -- had to feed and put baby to sleep

Where was I?

**train of thought interrrupted again -- baby woke up, typing with Sam in my arms

Ok so i'm not in the mood to write anymore. Basta all i know is that Tropico is a real cool game -- kaya pahiramin mo na ko ng installer mo Mars. As for heroes it the only game that i got so addicted to that i was always able to finish my chores just so my mom won't realize i've been playing the whole day. Its also the only one that I dreamt of repeatedly. Kaya i have to someday play the last expansion pack that i never got to play.

And to end this jumbled, unedited post I have to say that although my posts will most probably be always like this (full of interruptions, thus stilted) its worth it to see my baby sleeping peacefully and to smell his smelly crown.

PMS

Life is soooo unfair. It took me two weeks and some days to stop bleeding after giving birth and now my monthly period has come. Darn it! I deserve a break from rampaging hormones, ugly zits, painful cramps and utter discomfort!!! I HATE BEING A GIRL. Aaaaaarrrrrggghhh!

Angel's Post

Call me narcissistic but this must be one of the best blog post I've ever read. Its not because its beautifully written (though it is) or because its about my family. It touched me because it echoed whats in my heart.

To friends who maybe far but will always be there for you to share your life with.

Thank you for sharing my heartbeat. Thank you for knowing us but choosing to see the beautiful side.

Interesting

According to Jae's post I have sex at least every other day with whole day sessions at a time. Whoa!!!

I saw this funny product for dads and moms at baby center.

Catch Up Post

I have been neglecting this blog so badly that i have so much catching up to do.

Here are some blog topics i never found time or enough motivation to type up:

1. Birth pains and trauma - Yes Mars, Mrs Oblepias was correct. It is an 11.

2. Postpartum blues - Usual bleh about depression. Boring....

3. My birthday and Mark's surprise - Very simple surprise over breakfast but i was really surprised.

4. My mom's daughter is a mom - This one is highly personal and complicated. I dont think I'll ever post whatever my thoughts are on this one.

5. Little blessings that count - Stuff like Armi dropping in and studying here just when i needed company. Or a short chat with Nikki sa chikka just when i felt like crying. Or my baby making cute little noises just when i was getting bored out of my mind. Or Mark making a little more than expected for a little odd job just when we needed money.

6. Homecoming - I didnt go to my grade school's alumni homecoming and of course regretted it. I know Mark, sometimes you know me more than myself. I should arrange a gimmik with my grade school classmates...

7. Our bundle of joy - Every little thing Sam does that makes me crazy. I love that little alien of mine.

Baby Post

Angel spent the night last Saturday at home with us taking pictures of Sam. I think she fell in love with my baby babalik daw next week eh... Here's two of my favorite pics.

Sam with Ninang Angel's gift. ^_^

My reason for living.

******

Baby Shower

Some batchmates (and their other halves) dropped by last last weekend for a baby shower. I've been in this stupor for days before they came and was apprehensive about the visit but as it turned out I enjoyed it tremendously. Thanks guys for the gifts and the visit. The long chat with Aisa which she calls tsismisan ng mga nanay especially helped lift my spirits. It was great to see all of you. I didn't realize that I missed having company sooo much.

Ubuntu Cool!

This is a test post using Firefox in Ubuntu. Live CD to ang galing galing. Na-detect na nya network dito sa shop. Hihihi. Kahit non-techie madaling magnavigate kasi descriptive ung names ng applications and I dont have to use the command line. Weeee. I think Mark's happy because I like it. Nakakarub-off excitement. Ngayon lang ako na-excite sa OS ng ganito. hehe.

Weehee

Two to three centimeters dilated already. Am so excited. Anticipating everything... Hope the baby arrives by the weekend -- if not tonight. ^_^

Birthday Greetings

Every year I forget a lot of birthdays but there are some that I always remember on time. Problem is I never seem to greet people on the scheduled date, if at all. So that is my excuse for this -- Belated Happy Birthday George and Luz!

I don't want Nikki's birthday greeting to be late either so even if its quite early -- Advance happy birthday to you NikkiPikki.

-----
Good News

Speaking of birthdays, Baby Samuel's birthdate is coming up. I don't know when exactly but we're hoping that it'll be after the 15th at least. I am pretty excited even if I am a bit anxious about the pain. It helps though that Mark seems to be more anxious about it than I am. Its really funny the way he cringes everytime he thinks o f the pain.

My doctor told me during my last check up that there had been so many miracles with my pregnancy so thank you all for praying for the baby.

Bakit bucket?

Had a nice time last night. Nikki wanted to eat at KFC and avail of the summer bucket promo. Being the stingy person that I am I computed that it would be less expensive if we just bought the eight piece chicken in a box and 4 fixings at KFC plus rice and a 1.5L coke outside. As it turns out Nikki wasn't in it for the low price but wanted the bucket. Hehe. So we got the bucket. After ordering, Nikki really felt like he wanted the tumblers too so the bill had to be changed for us to get an upsize and the tumblers. Ha... victim of advertising! Anyway, it turned out to be fun, of course. Bless Nikki for he actually paid for my share as well as Cel's share. And so my stingy old heart and swollen belly were both satisfied.

Life is Beautiful

As Mark said the baby's fine. Complete toes and fingers and normal everything else. Thanks for the prayers guys. I'm under bed rest again but no complaints this time. Afterall I have something to do everytime I get bored....I look at my baby's pic.

I think the baby looks a bit like Mark and a lot like Casper...

Worrying is Worthless

I have a scheduled ultrasound with a specialist tomorrow morning. I know I shouldn't worry but I can't help it. I just had an ultrasound yesterday and it turned out that my big baby wasn't so big at all, rather I just have this thing called Polyhydramnios. Its not so bad because 60% of the time the cause is unknown and the resulting complication is increased risk during delivery which does not scare me too much. 20% of the time its because of maternal diabetes or an incompatibility with the mother and child's blood which apparently is not the case. And the last 20% is due problems with the baby like congenital diseases. The last one is the thing I can't help worrying about, its also the thing that the sonologist will try to rule out tomorrow. I can't wait for today to be over.

Please pray for our baby that everythings ok with him.

*****

Its actually weird that I am starting to get my mom. Although her nagging really gets on my nerves I try to shut up because I now feel what its like to worry about your child and not be able to do anything about it.

*****

I'm a little sad that my baby isn't so big. I felt secretly proud everytime somebody noticed how big my belly has grown. I felt like the baby got Mark's appetite. How could I have known that it was mostly fluids? Maybe my baby just loves to swim....

*****

Trying to fight the worry through intensive research. Thank God for the internet. The statistics help but my maternal instincts just wont quit harrassing me.

Around 20 minutes before the graduation march and 5 minutes before I nearly fainted.
Posted by Hello

Today

Closed shop today due to connection problems. Finally, after several days, the Digitel tech people dropped by. Of course their timing was "great" because we were about to leave when Erwin (the tech guy) arrived. So i had to go ahead without Mark. It was good though because the afternoon turned out productive.

**********

Mark got his toga today. A full day ahead of almost everyone else and he's so proud about it. He's been parading around the shop this afternoon with his toga on. Too bad i was feeling too woozy to help him celebrate his victory with the toga. By the way, he got it ahead of time because he went straight to the supplier since he was late for the reservations.

"The last shall be first and the first shall be last."


*snort*

**********

Saw Nap and Brian at the gym this afternoon. Brian said hi to my tummy but the baby didn't want to move. According to Mark, "Natakot si baby kasi lalake siya." Bad bad.

I didn't realize how similar Nap and Nikki were until today. I can't point out why exactly pero magkapatid nga sila.

**********

Mark just got back. Video's City's already closed. Bummer. I wonder how I'll spend the time again tonight.

While looking for quotes on education, I came upon something that a Mr Evan Esar said. At first it made me laugh so hard because it is funny. But when I started to really think about it, it left me incensed.

"America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week."

- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)

Education in our country is in such a sorry state. Blame it on any of the following - bad teachers, bad materials, a bad educational system and lack of funds - and you wouldn't be wrong. Being a teacher myself i get so frustrated with the way the system works. But one thing that really bothers me is the utterly low salary that teacher receive. To give the clueless an idea, I worked as a substitute teacher in my alma mater and there received as compensation Php 8000 per month. If you think that's bad think again because CSI actually pays better than other private schools here in Los Baños. The two other schools I applied to paid Php 6500-7000 per month. And they had no other additional benefits (aside from SSS and those required by the law)! Hello!?! Pang janitor lang ata dapat yun. In defense of CSI, due to allowances and other benefits, their teachers' salary reach at least Php 10k each month. As for UP I think an instructor's salary starts at around Php 13-14K, which is still way low because were talking about our country's supposedly premier university. Of course one can always teach in Ateneo or UA&P and other universities that pay well or at least better. But then, they just hire the good teachers (like Pat) and so low paying institutions are left with the not so good teachers and a few good dedicated ones (like Po? :p ).

Out of the 8 ultrsound printouts. This is the only clear one.
Posted by Hello

He's a Boy

I was hesitant to go to my doctor because I didn't want to hear that I needed more bed rest. But I'm sure glad that I did. I went and was ultrasounded (how do you say that properly?) this afternoon to make sure that there are no serious complications. It felt so good to see my baby's face! The eyes and nose were so clear but something was blocking his mouth so I didnt see it. I also saw his little peewee. ^_^ Poor Mark, the ultrasound was finished by the time he got back to the hospital. Got pictures but they're too small and dark for me to post.

Exactly what I needed to lift my spirits and to look at things with a proper perspective.

Still under bed rest though. i never imagined that bed "rest" could be so tiring and trying!

Depression

I think i am depressed. According to some website, out of 10 symptoms for depression during pregnancy i'm suffering from 9. And no wonder because the half of the stated possible triggers for depression is very much present in my life. And darn it, reading about it still doesn't make things right. Hopefully forcing myself to blog will help me kick this out of my system as well as revive my woefully neglected blog.

It is True

I guess I have to blog this without Mark's permission kasi nabasa ko na sa blog ni Frank. ^_^

Yes, I'm getting married. But no it't not just me. Mark'll walk down the aisle with me (except that I don't think that we'll be walking down the aisle). It's on the 28th at Pasig. Its a civil wedding so I'm sorry guys we had no intention of inviting anyone over kaya we kept it pretty much hush hush.

Anyway I announced it sa grade school group namin kaya Dale knew about this. What else? Oh, gifts are always welcome! Hehe!

Ipod Shuffle

Since Mark is too busy to post nowadays, I think I'll post this for him.

The new ipod Shuffle.

Ala thumbdrive. Smaller then gum. Way cool. No screen though.

The Men in My Life (part 1)

Daddy

Showed me how to...
-be forgiving and giving even towards people who have wronged you.
-be tolerant towards impertinent and bullheaded daughters.
-bear sorrow in silence.
-be there for someone despite a busy schedule.

Passed on his love for...
-Robert Ludlum along with the slight paranoia that comes from liking espionage stuff.
-spicy food, sleeping and water.
-riding fast motorcycles.
-Discovery Channel and National Geographic magazines.

Taught me...
-how to ride the bicycle.
-to appreciate corny jokes, though I tried not to show that I did.
-how to float.
-the weird dance that kids love.

He also...
Made our furniture. Spoiled me. Spanked me once a year. Let me know how much he loved me. With my sister as his sidekick, chased me with kisses until I got totally irritated and almost cried. Cried when I hurt him but never said an unkind word to me.

New Year Wishes

Listed as the idea pops out. Not according to level of desire.

1. New clothes - my clothes are starting to NOT fit. I want to feel good.
2. Go on a trip - a.k.a honeymoon (kahit 2-3 days lang)
3. See old friends - this is actually happening...feels great...
4. Be able to tell my mom and dad how much I appreciate their love.
5. Buy my sister her long due Christmas gift.
6. Surprise Mark with some pleasantly surprising surprise. Ideas anyone? Wag nyo dito post! :p
7. Find some time to exercise lightly but regularly. This would make someone who nags me sooo happy.
8. Be able to read the Bible regularly.
9. Find a thousand peso bill on a deserted sidewalk.
10. The awfully drool worthy new flatscreen G5.
11. A new phone.
12. Another weekend with Silas.

*****

I'm sure there's more but this is all I can think of right now...
Dry post.. Sorry guys I had to fill my time before I got out of the office. Bye! It's 11pm. Yipee!