Letter to Santa From Mom

This came from a forwarded email. Though I can't say that I can relate to all things here it's just too darned funny I had to post it here.

****
Dear Santa,

I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, and sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my daughter's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:

I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store. I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.

If you're hauling big ticket items this year, I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight, and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.

I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and “Take your hands off your sister," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.

If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience
immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my daughter saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think she wants her crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always,

MOM

Little CAMP Christmas Party

Had a great time today at both of the parties we went to. But I'll write about the second one tomorrow since this will be a long post.

The first party started around 11AM and was held at Kids At Work in SM North EDSA. It was Little Camp Clinics Christmas Party. Sam had a blast (as far as I can tell) though he didn't really participate in anything. I guess all the colorful banners just wowed him and all the people in the place pretty much overwhelmed him. He ended up staring staring and staring at everything. He sat in his own chair almost the entire time and didn't complain once... That's almost 2 hours! Way to go Sam! I wish he reacted more but he did smile at the pretty baby (Andy) who won the best angel costume award.

The prizes were really great too with as much 1000 pesos worth of gift certificates. Little Camp must have had a sponsor since the party fee was really small. Everyone who wore a costume actually got a Gift Pass but since we weren't able to buy any for Sam he didn't get any. It's not really disappointing though especially since Ninong Rico gave Sam some GC's on the second party. Hehe.

The kids had a talent contest though only four participated out of the 60 students. Remember they're all special kids so it's pretty hard to force anyone to perform. The last performer (there were 2 performances only) was so darned cute and funny. He danced to the song "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands" while crying that he wanted to go home the entire time. He never stopped doing the steps though while he cried as he performed. What made me get all choked up though was the first performance where 3 kids danced to the tune of "Breaking Free'. Everyone was smiling and having a great time though so I really hard time fighting the tears. The only reason I got choked up was really silly but I couldn't help it. The first lyrics I caught when the song started was the part where the guy sang..

"You know the world can see us in a way that's different that who we are .... but your faith, it gives me strength , strength to believe we're breaking free ."

Aw shit. Just thinking about it makes me all weepy again. But hey can you blame me? I was in a room full of special kids (my son being one) and there were three precious little boys in front seriously dancing to a tune that I know is such a big hit with all kids nowadays. They were all different, from most kids and also even from each other, and almost everyone there is usually perceived by the world in such a different way. People pity them, people are curious about them, people sometime feel indifferent, and people sometimes even feel repulsed. But to us who love them and breath and live for them, we see them differently. With enough patience, enough therapy, enough encouragement, enough love they can break free. It might not be big deal to others but the mere fact that those kids can dance, that the kid on the other table was feeding himself although the spaghetti kept on falling off his mouth again, that Andy can now run, that Lindon can now speak, that Ram can now sit a little (he's more than 10 years old already), and that my own little Sam smiled as soon as he saw baby Tesla approach him and wanted to play though he can't crawl nor walk yet, to us each of that little step is breaking yet another barrier, another hindrance. These kids can be more, do more, they're not to be pitied but to be loved and admired for fighting to overcome so much. Special kids need not be doomed to a dependent and utterly "useless" life. We see them differently and hopefully with enough education the rest of the world will too.

I just wish I had pictures to show the world how cool the coolest party I've ever attended was. It wasn't the event. It was the precious souls there. A million angels must have been celebrating with us then.

I Have a Party Dress

We've been planning on attending the OCS Christmas Party for weeks now. Mark was adamant that I wear a dress instead of just some jeans and a nice blouse since their Christmas party was themed disco and his officemates were talking about wearing dresses (at least the girls were). So even though it wasn't really part of our budget and we had really none to blow anymore (because we already blew it first weekend when we went on the Jag and Lee Sale at LB and invested on some office clothes for Mark and a few nice blouses for me) I decided to buy a new outfit for the party since none
of my dresses fit anymore. As a dutiful wife and a vain girl I didn't want Mark's wife to end up looking really drab or washed out. Besides I really got all excited too when I realized that I haven't really dressed up in YEARS. I was even planning on arriving early so I can get a facial and have my hair curled and set. I think the last time I tried to dress up a bit was when I got married and nobody will claim that I was really all dolled up even then since I was just wearing a sundress that was a bit too tight on my belly and a cute flip flops because I couldn't wear heels. So anyway the day before the party (that was Wednesday) Mark suddenly chats me up in Gtalk and here's how it went...

Mark: pero promise me di ka masyado magagalit..

me: hehe ok.....

Mark: kasi la palang guests sa xmas party. sorry. the whole time assume ko kasi na pwede.
i feel really bad.

me: nye!!!

Mark: i'm sorry love.

me: wahehe

Mark: :(

me: teka bluff muna

Mark: no. no bluff. kkverify ko lang sa hr.

me: langya ka pinhirapan mo pa loob ko...ok lang beh

Mark: i know..
no.
i feel bad.

Mark: pero i realize na at least naalala kong tanong..

me: oo noh super nakakahiya kung bigla akong sulpot bukas!

Mark: love, di ka galit? ok lang kahit oo. promise.

me: di sa ibang event ko nlng suotin damit ko

Mark: my my my badd sobra.

me: di nmn

Mark: :(

me: at least may time na ako para mag sulat

Mark: sorry beh

me: its ok. sayang lng ung damit..hehe

Mark: nope, di sayang yan..

me: isip ka nlng ng event na masusuotan ko

Mark: yup. :)
ok love, ok lang tlaga?

me: ok lng po

me: haha. yup. yan pwede na akong kumain ng picnic kasi di ko na kailangang crash diet :p

Imagine what would have happened if I walked in there the only wifey who dared show up!!! So there I have this nice bordering on the weird black party dress and new black high-heeled shoes with silver trim but no party to attend. Anyone care to invite me to one where I can get to wear my dress?

BTW the OCS Christmas Party was a success. Mark's team (Tools) won second prize for their dance. As punishment for his blunder I'm thinking of asking Mark to dance his part next we see friends. ^_^ I'm not really that disappointed about the whole thing though the only disappointing part was that Mark and I were thinking of having our own after party party. ;-)

For the bimbos my dress is a cross between the two shown below. It was really cheap too and knowing me when I say cheap totoo yun kasi kuripot ako. Good bargain so if I don't find an event to wear it to maibenta kaya sa eBay?

Christmas Wishlist for Sam

Ang dami ng nagtatanong kung anong magandang gift kay Sam for Christmas so here's my wishlist for Sam. Comment ka na lang Mark kung meron kang dagdag. Yes parinig na to sinyo mga ninong, ninang, tito, at tita ko na hindi nag tanong. Hehe. The items are listed in no particular order. Most of these are needs and not wants kasi I have really no idea what Sam wants.

• Bathrobe and Towel - maliit na sobra kay Sam bath towels nya. Never got around to buying new ones again. (taken)
  
• Walker - No. He still can't walk pero i think a good walker with good back support and stuff to play with will help stimulate him.
• Shorts - Yes may shortage pa rin po ng shorts si Sam. (pun not intended)
• Books - story books, educational books, small books, big books. It doesn't matter Sam likes it when anyone reads books to him.
• Yaya - We still haven't found one. If you have a really good one to recommend please do. I suck at a lot of mothering stuff so he really needs one. (Hmm gift ata sakin to di kay Sam)
  
• Socks - I don't think you can buy these for Sam without fitting them first since his feet are pretty weird. He uses only one pair because the ones I bought got too tight around his legs too fast. His feet are still really small though.
• Fat free cookies for babies - There are sugar free cookies but they usually don't have a high nutritional value. Those that are nutritious are usually too fattening for Sam.
• Splenda - I'm still putting off buying Splenda because I find them ridiculously expensive. Equal and Nutrasweet are not recommended because of the aspartame.
• Hooded Jacket
• A nice sippy cup
  
• Donations to Foundation for Prader Willi Research - The money won't go directly to Sam but it means much more since it can help find a cure for him and other kids. If you want you can send the donation on behalf of Sam.
  
• Anything wrapped in colorful paper - This is the one thing I know Sam will enjoy in this list (aside from the books). The gift covers seems to be more of a hit with Sam than the gifts he always receives.
• Rechargeable electric fan - I always budget for this. Forget about it. Then remember during the next brownout. (taken)
  
• Feeding set - He eats well with the normal utensils but it would be cute if he had a set all to himself. (taken)
  
• Plastic breakfast tray - For adults. He'll be using it for play and therapy. A good one will be about a foot tall with big pockets on the side where he can put his toys.
• Bangkito - Yung panglaba but he needs a really sturdy one without holes (kasi nasasaktan cya sa pwet) and without a sandalan. Bawal din malambot. For therapy din and for eating time. He sits up straight while eating now. The one he uses for therapy is a Fishers Price chair but I think they're out of stock already. (got one already)
  

Yan I can't really think of anything else. If you want to give something not in here syemps we'll appreciate it. Just don't buy any DVDs please because Sam is not allowed to watch any TV. I think another good gift would be a simple visit, especially if you bring a kid with you. Sam loves it when kids come to visit him. He doesn't really play with them but he keeps on smiling and nodding his head. If you are funny and genuinely interested in Sam he'll probably react nicely to you too.

Thanks all for asking and for the gifts in advance. Hehe. If you're too far to give a gift a prayer is always the best gift. It's kept us going and has done wonders for Sam.

Remeinds me of someone...

Of course exag to.... Peace Mark!!!! Love you Pa you're a great dad. ^_^

Remind me to post

Got so much to write about since I just couldn't blog the past few weeks thanks to SMART Bro's "great service" (2 point something kbps speed ko one time it averaged at 20 somthing kbps for a few weeks!). Thanks God they finally got their act together. Problem is I'm too sleepy, too tired to think (just finished writing 11 articles in a row), and its Sam's time to drink milk. Good night world. Someone please remind me to post tomorrow.

Halloween at OCS

I saw Mark's Halloween post and nainggit ako. So I decided to post my fave Halloween pic of me and my baby plus other pics na rin. I love our Halloween pics kasi I haven't seen myself as happy and relaxed in pictures for such a long time. Ang weird kasi mag pose sa camera. The halloween pics were different because all the smiles weren't put on.. so no strain. I really had a great time at OCS. Looking forward to this year's Christmas party. Hehe.

Sam getting a pumpkin and ghost "tattoo".

Proud Papa and a frazzled Sam.

Dede break.
Silas is supposed to be Big Bird but he never wore
his Big Bird visor and insisted on the jacket.

Lemon taste test...

Test result.

On a roll

Wrote more than 8000 worth of words in the last 48 hours. Feels darn good to be tired. To know that at last I was able to be productive at work and didn't neglect sam at least for the past few days.

Commercial: 2nd earthquake of the night! It's 1:27AM in my watch.

That made me dizzy or maybe I should just catch some sleep. Need to write another 4000 words tomorrow. Thank God for the brown out kagabi kasi at the rate I'm going I'll get burnt out if I don't rest enough. So kunwari brown out ulit para maka rest ako ng mahimbing.

Oh I do hope I am finally learning to be disciplined. I really really do...

Farewell Pets!

After more than a year I decided to pay a visit to Neopets today. To my horror this is what appeared when I tried to login.

Active Neopet: Luxuriu282

What is this eyrie doing in my login page? Then I realized Neopets must have let my pets die at last...along with my identity there. Boohoo. I suddenly miss my pets and MY BOOK COLLECTION! My God all the time spent waiting in bookshops and bidding on rare books...gone. Sigh. Now I'm wondering whether I should create another account or not.

On other games maybe I should get back to a little gaming. I plan on playing Utopia, Sleuth, and maybe even Gumshoe. Neglected all the games when I had Sam but maybe it's time to play again. Utopia won't take more than 30mins a day after all.

Thea and Tita Tet

Thea is a girl I've known since high school. We've learned much from each other both good and bad. I've been blessed with great friends. Never have they abandoned me we I needed them. They might not have been there always but it was just circumstance and never abandonement. Most of the time it was actually me hiding from them, especially Thea. I hid from Thea during the times Aileen Paralag and I were getting chummy and I started learning vices I knew I shouldn't. I hid from her when my family was in deep financial trouble because I didn't want anyone to know. And I hid from her when Mark and I started engaging in pre-marital sex, which I knew was just totally wrong. I always hid from her when I was in trouble because I knew that she was one of the rare people that would actually tell me to my face stuff I didn't want to hear. She IS one of the rare people who can love me yet look at me and still tell me she disapproves. She's one of the rare people who accepts me but wouldn't really settle for me being less than what I can be and should strive to be. And she is one of the two people (Ian my childhood friend is the other one) who dared deliver groceries to our house anonymously knowing what it would to do to my pride but knowing then that we almost had nothing to eat and didn't have money to buy toothpaste or anything else at all. She made me cry then but she helped feed us for the next week. She always knew how to make me face things I didn't want to face but was neccessary for my survival. And now she's the one in trouble.

Tita Tet, though we rarely meet, is one of the moms who really cares about me. It must be Thea's big mouth and all her tsimis about me. But she gets jealous for me when Mark's being a "bad boy". She's excited about Sam (but I bet she wouldn't want to be called Lola). And she's the only mom ever who genuinely seemed to want our entire family to be a part of their family. Too bad Dagupan and Laguna is just too far away. But the funny thing is, though we've never had long talks I feel like we really know each other. I even usually catch myself during my "running away" daydreams thinking of going to their house and spilling out my guts to her. I couldn't do it though because I don't know how to get there and she'll probably tell me to go back home and face the music after letting me have a good cry. Thea must take after her mom.

So it really scared me when Thea texted me that Tita's bus was hit by a 10-wheeler and that she needed to be operated on the head. I was scared for her and her family. I know that November this year is a big thing for them and their business and to have to deal with the financial stress that medical bills will bring is just unbelievably hard. But there's very little I can do and even less I can send to help. So the least I can do is help them find help.

Please visit http://momsi.blogspot.com/

Pityfest

Life can be really tiring. I sometimes just get sick of going to Sam's doctors paying all those fees for a tiny ray of hope. You hope and pray that someday he'll be completely all right but he never might be. He'll be better but not completely. It sucks to be this young and to be tired of life. To go to therapists clinics and feel so alone as you hear your baby crying and wondering all the while why it doesn't make you feel sad anymore. I'm just desensitized or maybe I'm just not that caring. It sucks to go home knowing all your baby's homework and actually doing it just once in a while. Makes you wonder just what kind of person you are. I claim to be tired but I know I never do enough. I sleep too much, worry too much, but do too little. I get all stressed from work but the pay still never ever covers all the monthly expenses. I work and get tired and end up not giving enough time to Sam. Why the heck did I even stay at home when I don't get to devote as much time to him. His performance still hasn't improved and I blame myself for it. Right now I'm just so tired of looking at the bright side. I just want my baby to be fine. I just want to be able to let Mark buy Sam some stupid expensive sippy cup instead of having to pay for doctors fees, tests, and more tests. I just want to buy one freaking nice pair of shoes for myself. I want mark to have more than an allowance. I want our family to be together. I want to actually be able to share my life with Mark and not feel so alone during and after a storm as I try to get the smelly muddy water out of the house. I want so much...so much more than this. I feel so old today.

Couldn't Sleep

Just am not feeling sleepy. Have no articles to rush. Read most of my mail. Checked friendster. Gave Sam his milk and lulled him to sleep. Texted Mark. Read some. But I still couldn't sleep.

Better do some catch up blogging. Just snippets cause I don't really feel like writing.

- Nikki's supposed to visit tomorrow. Hope he makes it.
- Sam's taking Motillium. I think the syringe that came with it is really cool.
- Mark and Angel are finally done (I think) with their MACZEDAM project. Yay! Mark can now have 2-day weekends.
- Am posting for Scigg.com. Yes the idea's a rip off from digg but give it a chance. At least look it up and vote for one of my posts. It's a job-related thing I at least really enjoy doing. :p
- Am also maintaining two blogs. One about blackjack and the other about betting systems and tools. I don't think I can post the URL though cause technically I don't exist. Although writing for those blogs is pretty easy it bugs me that no one reads the blogs. The blog is after all just a section of the site and most probably exists just to provide regular fresh content to the site as part of SEO. Ugh. If not for the money it'll depress me that my efforts in writing gets so wasted.
- I need a Paypal account to get more projects. Not a real priority though.
- Plan on doing a fundraiser middle of next year. Anyone care to help me brainstorm?
- Mark and I wanted to buy an IXUS i-Zoom we saw in a catalogue. It's just around 19K and can be paid installment for zero interest. Comes with a free Selphy 700 too. Too bad we don't have a BPI credit card.
- Again I need a camera so I can take Sam's picture whenever he looks amazingly cute, which is about every other hour.
- I'm finally getting sleepy. Rambling works.
- Should clean Sam's bottles before I go to sleep but will probably end up asking my mom to do it.
- I should stop being so lazy and be a better mom.
- Sam couldn't sleep well for long periods if he can't touch my face or at least sense that I'm beside him.
- Life can be so sweet.
- A good thought is a nice closing. Will help me sleep peacefully.
- Night world.

Happy Birthday

Thea, Gio, and Jerry.

Love you three! ^_^

In Love (not for the anti-mush)

Most days you just plod through life going through the motions. Most days I feel happy and content but I don't feel deep-seated joy. Most days I care for my husband and know that I love him but I don't feel the gut-wrenching feeling of being in love. Today is not like most days. Since yesterday until today I've been sooo in love with Mark. I've been missing him and thinking about him, feeling like I used to when "mag-crushan" pa lang kami. I keep on remember our little flirtations, the concentrated attention, the pa-simple moves, the double talks, tampuhan, lambingan, the long talks, and our friendship. I keep on remembering how Thea hated us for feeling OP and how I always felt like dressing up just to see the sparkle in his eye. To be honest I think I fell in love with Mark first. We were both attracted to each other but I loved him first. I loved him first but he loved me better. I loved him and still loves him with such a whirlwind of emotions but he loved me and still loves me calmly and perseveringly. I stayed for him when he was down and needed me but I couldn't help him grow and be better. He keeps on being insensitive and sometimes doesn't understand what I need but in the end he manages to help me change and grow to a better person. Sometimes I don't think I'm what he needs and it hurts me like hell but I figure out it's ok because I'm still what he wants. And then there are days when it's quite obvious that he needs me and I sit there quiet beside him savoring the moment. As for me I'm still crazy about Mark. Ask any of my friends. They don't understand and I don't either. He's always been what I wanted and needed.

Words are so inadequate.

I love you Mark.
I love you Pa.

I feel so blessed that I have you in my life. Thanks for not quitting on us. Thanks for giving me Sam. Thanks for not allowing me to lose myself and helping me find my way back. You are my home.

Sam and Scrambled Eggs

I just got advise from fellow parents from FPWR to start Sam with scrambled eggs, yougurt, mashed vegetables, etc. Since the only thing available at home were eggs, I cooked some for Sam (with no oil and just a little salt). I was so excited. My problem was that I was a bit nervous since he still has really know idea how to chew. Anyway after the egg cooled down I put in a little water and mashed the eggs further to make them more manageable and then proceeded to feed Sam. At first he just sat there with his tongue out with the egg sticking to it not knowing what to do. So I got some egg myself and proceeded to chew trying to show Sam what to do. I was so happy when he finally closed his mouth and proceeded to do some mashing motions. It was good enough for me. It almost looked like chewing. Even better, after a few seconds (maybe minutes) I looked in his mouth and the egg was gone. I immediately reported our triumph to Mark. We were so proud. I then went back to Sam and gave him his next itty bitty piece of egg and continued to do so everytime it seemed he'd finished each piece off. What a fast learner my baby boy is. After some time though he stopped responding and didn't really want to open his mouth so I picked up the bowl and put it near his face in hopes that it'll make him want to eat more. To my surprise he suddenly grasped the bowl's edge and raised it to his mouth (with me supporting the bowl of course). I got really excited becaue it meant that he really wanted to eat...

Until his cute little tongue stuck out from his mouth and I saw the large globs of mashed eggs in it before he "spat" the eggs out onto the bowl. Oh dear... Being persistent I tried to get him to eat again and gave him an even smaller piece of egg. So Sam, being persistent too, stuck out his hand took the bowl and spit the egg out again.

Result: No egg eaten and a very happy Mama. Not only is my baby starting to make chewing motions (even though ineffective still), he's also well-mannered enough to know that you don't spit on the bed and that it's better to spit food out into his own bowl!!! Sosyal! I'm so proud of Sam. ^_^

Some mothers get something more

Some Mothers Get Babies With Something More
By: Lori Borgman
Columnist and Speaker

My friend is expecting her first child. People keep asking what she wants. She smiles demurely, shakes her head and gives the answer mothers have given throughout the pages of time. She says it doesn't matter whether it's a boy or a girl. She just wants it to have ten fingers and ten toes.

Of course, that's what she says. That's what mothers have always said.

Mothers lie.

Truth be told, every mother wants a whole lot more. Every mother wants a perfectly healthy baby with a round head, rosebud lips, button nose, beautiful eyes, satin skin and straight feet. Every mother wants a baby so gorgeous that people will pity the Gerber baby for being flat-out ugly.

Every mother wants a baby that will roll over, sit up and take those first steps right on schedule (according to the baby development chart on page 57, column two). Every mother wants a baby that can see, hear, run, jump and fire neurons by the billions. She wants a kid that can smack the ball out of the park and do toe points that are the envy of the entire ballet class.

Call it greed if you want, but we mothers want what we want.

Some mothers get babies with something more.

Some mothers get babies with conditions they can't pronounce, a spine that didn't fuse, a missing chromosome, a palette that didn't close or a tiny crooked foot or two. Most of those mothers can remember the time, the place, the shoes they were wearing and the color of the walls in the small, suffocating room where the doctor uttered the words that took their breath away. It felt like recess in the fourth grade when you didn't see the kick ball coming and it knocked the wind clean out of you.

Some mothers leave the hospital with a healthy bundle, then, months, even years later, take him in for a routine visit, or schedule her for a well check, and crash head first into a brick wall as they bear the brunt of devastating news. It can't be possible! That doesn't run in our family. Can this really be happening in our lifetime?

I am a woman who watches the Olympics for the sheer thrill of seeing finely sculpted bodies. It's not a lust thing; it's a wondrous thing. The athletes appear as specimens without flaw - rippling muscles with nary an ounce of flab or fat, virtual powerhouses of strength with lungs and limbs working in perfect harmony. Then the athlete walks over to a tote bag, rustles through the contents and pulls out an inhaler.

As I've told my own kids, be it on the way to physical therapy after a third knee surgery, or on a trip home from an echo cardiogram, there's no such thing as a perfect body. Every body will bear something at some time or another. Maybe the affliction will be apparent to curious eyes, or maybe it will be unseen, quietly treated with trips to the doctor, medication
or surgery. The health problems our children have experienced have been minimal and manageable, so I watch with keen interest and great admiration the mothers of children with serious disabilities, and wonder how they do it.

Frankly, sometimes you mothers scare me. How you lift that child in and out of a wheelchair 20 times a day. How you monitor tests, track medications, regulate diet and serve as the gatekeeper to a hundred specialists yammering in your ear.
I wonder how you endure the clichés and the platitudes, well-intentioned souls explaining how God is at work when you've
occasionally questioned if God is on strike. I even wonder how you endure schmaltzy pieces like this one -- saluting you, painting you as hero and saint, when you know you're ordinary. You snap, you bark, you bite. You didn't volunteer for this,
you didn't jump up and down in the motherhood line yelling, "Choose me, God. Choose me! I've got what it takes." You're a woman who doesn't have time to step back and put things in perspective, so, please, let me do it for you.

From where I sit, you're way ahead of the pack. You've developed the strength of a draft horse while holding onto the delicacy of a daffodil. You have a heart that melts like chocolate in a glove box in July, carefully counter-balanced against the stubbornness of an Ozark mule. You can be warm and tender one minute, and when circumstances require, intense
and aggressive the next. You are the mother, advocate and protector of a child. You're a neighbor, a friend, a stranger I
pass at the mall. You're the woman I sit next to at church, my cousin and my sister-in-law.

You're a woman who wanted ten fingers and ten toes, and got something more.

You're a wonder.

**from Sarah's Blog a mom of 3 pretty daughters youingest being Josie (PWS)

Ink Blot Test / FSMA plug

I'm having fun with these tests. Here's the state of my unconcious mind right now.

Your Unconscious Mind Is Most Driven by Peace.

You have a deeply-rooted desire to make peace in the world. Whether through subtle interactions with loved ones, or through getting involved in social causes, it is important to you to be able to influence the world in a positive way. You have a deep respect for humankind.

You care about the future of the world, even beyond your own involvement in it, and you inspire others to feel the same way. Your innate drive toward peace guides you in daily life towards decisions that are respectful toward yourself and others. Your psyche is very rich; the more you learn about it, the more you will understand who you really are...

link to Ink Blot Test

**** It's nice to know that my head's still screwed on tight. The drive for peace must have something to do with my current all new involvement with the Foundation for Prader Willi Research . I'm a new member and am excited and all worked up thinking of ways I can contribute to research for PWS and also towards educating Filipinos about children with special needs. BTW I've been meaning to post about this for sometime now...

Please try using GoodSearch as your search engine even for just a day. Google fans as we are, Mark and I use GoodSearch instead of Google to help support the Families of SMA. Although Sam was just misdiagnosed will still do feel very much for the families and victims of SMA. You to can support FSMA by using GoodSearch. When you get to GoodSearch's homepage type FSMA on the charity you are supporting and then click on verify. From then on each time you use GoodSearch $0.01 goes to FSMA. I still use Google though for getting definitions, converting stuff, and at times when I just can't seem to get the results I want. Hehe. As a whole though GoodSearch gives pretty much decent results. It should, after all its powered by Yahoo. :p

Quiz

Tired of cramming and writing endless words making my work presentable. My fault shouldn't cram but I'd rather have some moral support and appreciation for my hard work. Writing IS hard wark too even if it may not seem that way to some. Anway nedd a break after taking an unwanted break that ate up my awake time. But I have no right to complain I'm the one cramming after all. So this is what I'm doing to get away from writing...writing mindlessly and posting my quiz results for Money Profile.

No matter how much money you have, you don't use money to enhance your image with others. You evaluate yourself and others by their intangible qualities, not by their possessions. If you do pursue money, it is for reasons other than the need for social power and prestige.

Ah. Got to go back to work. Wash face. Drink water. Pray for a clear mind. Get going. Be done before the sunrises hopefully. Unless I fall asleep just a couple thousand words left...

Everyone knows how its nothing's ever the same as your first time. Whatever kind of first time that is. Got two interesting new "first times".

1. Bit in the nose - Was playing with Sam last night. He has no history of biting people so as usual I decided to smell his breath waiting for him to maybe lick my nose. He likes to lick people but didn't seem to know anything about biting...that was until I felt something latch on my nose! Ahhh. Pure agony! Since I couldn't push away some because I didn't want to scare him and because it felt like he was going to rip my nose off if I did I think I ended up moaning and saying stuff I don't remember. The only thing I remember saying was "In Jesus name" as if trying to ward off some eveil thing. When he stopped after what seemed like eternity Mark, Dad, and Silas laughed at me and wondered at the deep "Chicklet" marks on my nose. As for me I think I just cried a bit but after the pain subsided I felt so proud. Lumalakas na si Sam!!! Ang sakit mangagat!

2. Caught by Microsoft - The image speaks for itself. Bad trip. Ka-praning. Its my fault for using pirated stuff but they shouldn't use their updates to track people down!

Bring back the books

I'm not they type of person who enjoys the internet as much as Mark does. Probably its becaue I still haven't really found my niche here. But finally I read something on the internet that's really really worth reading - The Book to Movie Rant by Robin Hobbs. Its sad but I'm one of those who doesn't really know the real Wizard of Oz. I know it from the old cute movie but I never new that the ruby slippers were actually supposed to be silver and that she never really said, "There's no place like home." I always tell Mark how movies just cannot capture the essence of books. While this is true I also think the thing I wish moviegoers (who aren't into books) to experience is how to make stories come to life with your own imagination aided only by the words before you. It might not seem appealing to many but there's nothing like seeing Ender fight the last battle or seeing the vast emptiness of Lonesome Dove in your mind's eye. I don't want to atempt to be deep or anything like that, cause I'm not, as my blog is called I'm more of a bimbo in love with books. I'd better get back to the habit of reading good books again to make sure I read them before they get made into movies that I'll watch and most probably love. I want to read the story and let the words wash over me and transport me to unknown places I so love to visit.

Wasn't tagged by anybody

...but i still want to do this anyway. Got this from Jam's blog.

I'd like to think I would have unraveled that fence with my teeth if I'd had to, but the reality is that I was completely helpless. I prayed, Lord, walk every step with him. Keep him warm and bring him back to me safely.

*****

So the book nearest me was a momma book. Surprise surprise! It's actually a book Angel gave me when I was still pregnant with Sam.

I wonder how many times I would have to feel as helpless as that woman as a mom. It seems that kids are good at that, making you feel helpless and teaching us to trust in God to make it all right.

*****


Instructions:

1. grab the nearest book.
2. open the book to page 123.
3. find the fifth sentence.
4. post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. don’t you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! i know you were thinking about it! just pick up whatever is closest.
6. tag three people.

Won't bother to tag anyone since I wasn't tagged anyway. ^_^

Got Net

Got net at home. Smart Bro. Will surely help out with my work. Its a wonder though that something thats been exciting you for days can suddenly be unexciting. Its so easy to burst my bubble, especially if you're you.

Anyway posting because I saw something from Chikka. Was downloading chikka when I saw their announcement about the Chikka-Google Talk Interconnection. Thats it. Be posting again when I'm in a better mood. Sigh. The internet doesn't make me happy. Mark makes me happy when we don't make each other sad.

This is a weird post.

Enough.

Wahehe...BS Applied Physics

No wonder I almost died tring to finish my course.... Ability is waaaay useless when applied to things that don't beckon your heart. At least I'm a freelance writer now. A bit closer to what's really me. You scored as Sociology. You should be a Sociology major! Sociology 92% Psychology 92% Journalism 83% Linguistics 75% Anthropology 67% Theater 67% English 67% Philosophy 67% Biology 67% Dance 58% Chemistry 58% Art 58% Engineering 58% Mathematics 50% What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3) created with QuizFarm.com

Birthday Pictures

Last night before we had pizza. Shadow due to Jerry's arm.


Kunyari shy. Sunday night.


SAM'S BIRTHDAY (way overdue pics)
Birthday cake.


Birthday cake and sunny-side up.


Birthday boy.


Titos and Ninang Armi.
Sayang walang pics nila Angel, Ninong Nikki at Ninang Kei dito sa PC ni Nana.


Pabitin. I think Jerry enjoyed the games as much as the kids did. First time kasi.


Time to rest and suck on my favorite treat...

Happy Birthday...

to me!

Jam's greeting remineded me to post something at least for my birthday. Thanks Jam.

Anyway We're staying here at my sister's and Jerry, my brother-in-law, ordered some pizza last night for my birthday. First time ko mag Yellow Cab. Hehe. It was good. Sam gets really affected by the sight of people eating food nowadays so I prepared some Cerelac for him and he ate with us. He's starting on solids now. For lunch today Jerry cooked some homemade burgers and boy were they good! Better than any burger I've tasted before. ANtaba ng patties! Its not gourmet but its the real deal. He was happy about it and we all were too. Mark was almost late going back after lunch though because he just had to play with Sam and go to the CR. Hehe. Yes my birthdays turning out well. Good food. Improving baby. Husband's first day on his first real job. A good afternoon nap. And a new blog post. Wonder what else this day holds for me. Hope this day is a happy day for everyone else too.

Todays and Yesterdays

Todays are ok, even great. Its the yesterdays that bog me down. I hate having to deal with yesterdays and the fact that they're taking up so much of today to straighten them out. I just want to get on with today but I can't until I finish dealing with all of the past. I can only hope that I'll do well with the rest of my todays so that in the future yesterdays will be bring me pride and happiness instead of burdens and regrets.

Happy Post

This is a me post because I am feeling happier each day.

Things are definitely looking up. Nikki can now add me to the list of people happy with their jobs. And yes I do have a job aside from being a full time mom. I doing freelance work as a writer. Nothing fancy..hindi creative stuff (at least its not supposed to be but i do tend to get creative just to achieve the required number of words many times). Its mostly product description, review, articles, and website contents. Its really cool though coz hawak ko time ko, I get to do something else, i get to earn decent money, pays a lot better than if i were a teacher (although i would still love to teach someday - to heck with the pay), i still get to stay at home, and i get to polish my writing and research skills. Of course I still cram perpetually but it feels great to be cramming for something again or finishing something ahead of time, whichever end up doing, instead of doing only repetitive things.


Another thing to be happy about is being home. I'm back in LB, or rather Bay. This is home. I find it hard to adjust to living with other people. Its funny coz now its easier to find my mom's nagging tolerable after being uncomforatble away from home.

Mark and I are doing better in our relationship. Still far from perfect, like normal relationships are, but definitely better. We both think Sam's getting better plus less stress is very much related to it.

Hmmmm...got lotsa lotsa good news but I need to get going. Baka maiwan ako ng 9 o'clock trip. Weeee! I'm definitely home may hinahabol na ulit akong service. ^_^

Happy Post

This is a me post because I am feeling happier each day.

Things are definitely looking up. Nikki can now add me to the list of people happy with their jobs. And yes I do have a job aside from being a full time mom. I doing freelance work as a writer. Nothing fancy..hindi creative stuff (at least its not supposed to be but i do tend to get creative just to achieve the required number of words many times). Its mostly product description, review, articles, and website contents. Its really cool though coz hawak ko time ko, I get to do something else, i get to earn decent money, pays a lot better than if i were a teacher (although i would still love to teach someday - to heck with the pay), i still get to stay at home, and i get to polish my writing and research skills. Of course I still cram perpetually but it feels great to be cramming for something again or finishing something ahead of time, whichever end up doing, instead of doing only repetitive things.


Another thing to be happy about is being home. I'm back in LB, or rather Bay. This is home. I find it hard to adjust to living with other people. Its funny coz now its easier to find my mom's nagging tolerable after being uncomforatble away from home.

Mark and I are doing better in our relationship. Still far from perfect, like normal relationships are, but definitely better. We both think Sam's getting better plus less stress is very much related to it.

Hmmmm...got lotsa lotsa good news but I need to get going. Baka maiwan ako ng 9 o'clock trip. Weeee! I'm definitely home may hinahabol na ulit akong service. ^_^

Sam's bath

At my sis' house. We didn't bring Sam's bath chair so i had to make do with my sister's red timba. Figured i could play with Sam as well. Sam enjoyed it too though it isn't obvious in the pictures. One of the perks of having a baby is having something (ay someone pala) to play with. ^_^

Gulat


Playing with Sam.

Bye Tube

Sam has been without a tube for almost 2 weeks now. We went home to Laguna for the graduation celebrations of so many friends. We didn't go to the graduation itself but attended 3 celebrations in all. Anyway the Saturday morning we left for LB Mark and I decided to pull out Sam's tube so that people won't stare at him out of curiosity or pity. We wanted him to look cute. It was pretty strange but it was so cool, and still is, to see people react to Sam just because he's plain cute. I've been so used to the tube that as crazy as it sounds I actually missed it a few times especially when I saw Sam's old picture on my sister's desktop. I think the tube was cute too, in its own way. I'm feeling sentimental about it. It was almost a friend. It was comforting because i knew it prevented Sam from getting pneumonia again and again. Besides it was way easier to feed Sam with the tube. I'm not saying that I want the tube back, just that I miss it and am greatful for how much it made Sam's life better. Now its time to move on to a stronger and hungrier baby. I'm so proud of my baby. He has so much fight in him and has been behaved and jolly through all this (except during therapy!). Still so much to blog about but I have to work. Will write more Sam updates tomorrow and about our visit to LB.

Presenting Sam's new look......

Sam Update

We just found out that Sam was actually misdiagnosed. We have actually known about the possibilty for about a month now but didn't want to post anything until we were 100% sure. Results are out and Sam has what is called the Prader Willi Syndrome.

After thinking that my baby was going away for good and suffering with that knowledge for months, we were told that he actually has a different genetic defect. The symptoms are similar to SMA in the begnning but is pretty much the opposite of it when the the baby hits the toddler stage. Not only will Sam be with us for a long time, he'll also be able eat, sit, walk and do pretty much everything on his own. The crazy thing about the disease is that kids are usually tube-fed when born due to weak muscles and then gradually grow in strength until they can eat by themselves and not only that but they usually end up obese because they never feel satiated! Aside from that he is expected to have developmental delays or difficulties in almost all aspects. Upside of the delays is that we are getting to enjoy his small succeses so much. Very rare is it that you'll find parents who get really excited and proud everytime their 9-month baby sits up for a few minutes or manages to finish a half ounce of milk using the bottle. Things are definitely looking up.

For those interested in learning more about what Sam has just go to the Prader Willi Syndrome Association website for now. I'm pretty sure though that i'll be posting more about it sooner or later. Hopefully sooner.

Thank you so so much for all the prayers and support. Miracles really do happen.

Learning to sit with Granny and Mommy.

I can sit with just a little help from my mom. ^_^

I'm so tired!

For all the parents out there

I love 43things. The support from the community is so uplifting and has helped me feel less alone so many times. This is a reply to one ofmy mommy posts.


And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, “Speak to us of Children.”
And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
--written by Kahlil Gibran from The Prophet

Self-awareness

Makikigaya na rin ako. Am interested in finding out how others percieve me. Room for change. ^_^

My Nohari window.
My Johari window.

Had a hard time with my Nohari window. Ayaw kasi ng more than six! Hehe...

Same old wonderful world

Solomon once said that there is nothing new under the sun. What was true then is true now. What is felt now was once felt by someone else. Moms before must have loved as much as i love my baby.

As I reach out for Sam in the dark and feel his soft pudgy fingers, inhale its rather weird chocolatey smell and stop to pat him and murmur sweet nothings while he squirms in his sleep, I remember the first time I felt him pressing on my arm and, unable to move yet, saw the crown of his head. And once again I feel awe. I am humbled. Then I remember the times he's been hurt. All the needles and the tubes intruding his peaceful world, the tube mommy has to push down his nose despite the block, the occasional blood, the ever present cries and desperate pleading look on his eyes. He doesn't understand why mommy has to do it, why mommy has to hurt him and THAT hurts more than the pain. It pierces my heart as it does his. And I am scared for my baby, for all the hurt he'll have to go through not just from the needles but the pitying stares of strangers and all the other pain we have to go through just because its part of life. And so I pause. I look at him and kiss him. The fear melts away, sweet contentment creeps in and silences the voices, it lends peace to my heart. For now what is is enough.

Again emotions spring anew as i think of all the mothers who went through what I am going through, felt what I did -- joy, fear, contentment, happiness, confusion, pain, peace, sorrow, hope and love. Love most of all. I feel proud, I am proud that I am a mom. Imperfect as I am, I am proud that I now belong to that special club where membership means that you have to learn to be unselfish, to give up much, to sometimes reinvent yourself and to keep on improving so as to learn to love better and give even more. And I also feel grateful. I am so thankful for the priviledge of knowing what it is to love someone beyond anything imaginable.

However painfully brief or drearily long a child stays in one's life it still lends more color to one's life. One smile, one look, a single waft of your baby's scent and all the tears and struggles just go away. As the song goes... and i think to myself what a wonderful world.

Bow

You Have Your PhD in Men

You understand men almost better than anyone. You accept that guys are very different, and you read signals well. Work what you know about men, and your relationships will be blissful.

How Well Do You Understand

If only I used my knowledge right. But my emotion ALWAYS gets in the way. See mark I do understand you... making me more wrong?

Soooo True.

You're Confident...Sometimes

You can seem confident when the occasion calls for it But inside you may be experiencing a bit of self doubt A little more inner confidence could take you far... And convince others that you're as confident as you try to seem

href="http://ynr.blogthings.com/areyouconfidentquiz/"> Are You Confident?

I like.

Your Love Quote

Life is one fool thing after another where as love is two fool things after each other.

href="http://ynr.blogthings.com/whatlovequotesuitsyouquiz/">What Love Quote Suits You?

By the way this is our valentine date ^_^ After nice dinner.

Too little time to blog what i meant to...

Your Heart Is Blue

Love is a doing word for you. You know it's love when you treat each other well.You are a giving lover, but you don't give too much. You expect something in return. Your flirting style: Friendly Your lucky first date: Lunch at an outdoor cafe Your dream lover: Is both generous and selfish What you bring to relationships: Loyalty

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatcolorheartdoyouhavequiz/">What Color Heart Do You Have?

The big book list

Cut from Lek's Blog...Couldn't resist it.


- Bold the books you have read
- Italicize the books you had read to you as a child OR read as a child and cannot remember
- Underline the books you intend to read (er.. i kinda modified this to "books i've seen around the house that make mo go 'hey, i should read that' but probably never will")
- Strike the books you hated so much you couldn't finish them
- Add three

1. The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien
2. Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen
3. His Dark Materials Trilogy, Philip Pullman
4. The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
5. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, JK Rowling
6. To Kill a Mockingbird Harper Lee
7. Winnie the Pooh, AA Milne
8. 1984, George Orwell
9. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, CS Lewis
10. Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte
11. Catch-22, Joseph Heller
12. Wuthering Heights
13. Birdsong, Sebastian Faulks
14. Rebecca, Daphne du Maurier
15. The Catcher in the Rye, JD Salinger
16. The Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame
17. Great Expectations, Charles Dickens
18. Little Women, Louisa May Alcott
19. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin, Louis de Bernieres
20. War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy
21. Gone with the Wind, Margaret Mitchell
22. Harry Potter And The Sorcerers Stone, JK Rowling
23. Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets, JK Rowling
24. Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban, JK Rowling
25. The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien
26. Tess Of The D'Urbervilles, Thomas Hardy
27. Middlemarch, George Eliot
28. A Prayer For Owen Meany, John Irving
29. The Grapes Of Wrath, John Steinbeck
30. Alice's Adventures In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll (i read it but the story is so fragmented in my mind kasi scary for me!)
31. The Story Of Tracy Beaker, Jacqueline Wilson
32. One Hundred Years Of Solitude, Gabriel Garcia Marquez
33. The Pillars Of The Earth, Ken Follett
34. David Copperfield, Charles Dickens
35. Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl
36. Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson
37. A Town Like Alice, Nevil Shute
38. Persuasion, Jane Austen
39. Dune, Frank Herbert
40. Emma, Jane Austen
41. Anne Of Green Gables, LM Montgomery
42. Watership Down, Richard Adams
43. The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald
44. The Count Of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas
45. Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh
46. Animal Farm, George Orwell
47. A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens
48. Far From The Madding Crowd,Thomas Hardy
49. Goodnight Mister Tom, Michelle Magorian
50. The Shell Seekers, Rosamunde Pilcher
51. The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett
52. Of Mice And Men, John Steinbeck
53. The Stand, Stephen King
54. Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy
55. A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth
56. The BFG, Roald Dahl
57. Swallows And Amazons, Arthur Ransome
58. Black Beauty, Anna Sewell
59. Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer
60. Crime And Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky
61. Noughts And Crosses, Malorie Blackman
62. Memoirs Of A Geisha, Arthur Golden
63. A Tale Of Two Cities, Charles Dickens (i'm sure i started this but i cant remember finishing it so this should be underlined as well)
64. The Thorn Birds, Colleen McCollough
65. Mort, Terry Pratchett
66. The Magic Faraway Tree, Enid Blyton
67. The Magus, John Fowles
68. Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
69. Guards! Guards!, Terry Pratchett
70. Lord Of The Flies, William Golding
71. Perfume, Patrick Susskind
72. The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists, Robert Tressell
73. Night Watch, Terry Pratchett
74. Matilda, Roald Dahl
75. Bridget Jones's Diary, Helen Fielding
76. The Secret History, Donna Tartt
77. The Woman In White, Wilkie Collins
78. Ulysses, James Joyce
79. Bleak House, Charles Dickens
80. Double Act, Jacqueline Wilson
81. The Twits, Roald Dahl
82. I Capture The Castle, Dodie Smith
83. Holes, Louis Sachar
84. Gormenghast, Mervyn Peake
85. The God Of Small Things, Arundhati Roy
86. Vicky Angel, Jacqueline Wilson
87. Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
88. Cold Comfort Farm, Stella Gibbons
89. Magician, Raymond E Feist
90. On The Road, Jack Kerouac
91. The Godfather, Mario Puzo
92. The Clan Of The Cave Bear, Jean M Auel
93. The Colour Of Magic, Terry Pratchett
94. The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho (book was a gift from Mark)
95. Katherine, Anya Seton
96. Kane And Abel, Jeffrey Archer
97. Love In The Time Of Cholera, Gabriel Garcia Marquez
98. Girls In Love, Jacqueline Wilson
99. The Princess Diaries, Meg Cabot
100. Midnight's Children, Salman Rushdie
101. Three Men In A Boat, Jerome K. Jerome
102. Small Gods, Terry Pratchett
103. The Beach, Alex Garland
104. Dracula, Bram Stoker (Yes cel, your book is still with me)
105. Point Blanc, Anthony Horowitz
106. The Pickwick Papers, Charles Dickens
107. Stormbreaker, Anthony Horowitz
108. The Wasp Factory, Iain Banks
109. The Day Of The Jackal, Frederick Forsyth
110. The Illustrated Mum, Jacqueline Wilson
111. Jude The Obscure, Thomas Hardy
112. The Secret Diary Of Adrian Mole Aged 13 1/2, Sue Townsend
113. The Cruel Sea, Nicholas Monsarrat
114. Les Miserables, Victor Hugo
115. The Mayor Of Casterbridge, Thomas Hardy
116. The Dare Game, Jacqueline Wilson
117. Bad Girls, Jacqueline Wilson
118. The Picture Of Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde
119. Shogun, James Clavell
120. The Day Of The Triffids, John Wyndham
121. Lola Rose, Jacqueline Wilson
122. Vanity Fair, William Makepeace Thackeray
123. The Forsyte Saga, John Galsworthy
124. House Of Leaves, Mark Z. Danielewski
125. The Poisonwood Bible, Barbara Kingsolver
126. Reaper Man, Terry Pratchett
127. Angus, Thongs And Full-Frontal Snogging, Louise Rennison - annoying
128. The Hound Of The Baskervilles, Arthur Conan Doyle
129. Possession, A. S. Byatt
130. The Master And Margarita, Mikhail Bulgakov
131. The Handmaid's Tale, Margaret Atwood
132. Danny The Champion Of The World, Roald Dahl
133. East Of Eden, John Steinbeck
134. George's Marvellous Medicine, Roald Dahl
135. Wyrd Sisters, Terry Pratchett
136. The Color Purple, Alice Walker
137. Hogfather, Terry Pratchett
138. The Thirty-Nine Steps, John Buchan
139. Girls In Tears, Jacqueline Wilson
140. Sleepovers, Jacqueline Wilson
141. All Quiet On The Western Front, Erich Maria Remarque
142. Behind The Scenes At The Museum, Kate Atkinson
143. High Fidelity, Nick Hornby
144. It, Stephen King
145. James And The Giant Peach, Roald Dahl
146. The Green Mile, Stephen King
147. Papillon, Henri Charriere
148. Men At Arms, Terry Pratchett
149. Master And Commander, Patrick Obrian
150. Skeleton Key, Anthony Horowitz
151. Soul Music, Terry Pratchett
152. Thief Of Time, Terry Pratchett
153. The Fifth Elephant, Terry Pratchett
154. Atonement, Ian McEwan
155. Secrets, Jacqueline Wilson
156. The Silver Sword, Ian Serraillier
157. One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest, Ken Kesey
158. Heart Of Darkness, Joseph Conrad
159. Kim, Rudyard Kipling
160. Cross Stitch (aka Outlander in the U.S.), Diana Gabaldon
161. Moby Dick, Herman Melville
162. River God, Wilbur Smith
163. Sunset Song, Lewis Grassic Gibbon
164. The Shipping News, Annie Proulx
165. The World According To Garp, John Irving
166. Lorna Doone, R. D. Blackmore
167. Girls Out Late, Jacqueline Wilson
168. The Far Pavilions, M. M. Kaye
169. The Witches, Roald Dahl
170. Charlotte's Web, E. B. White
171. Frankenstein, Mary Shelley
172. They Used To Play On Grass, Terry Venables and Gordon Williams
173. The Old Man And The Sea, Ernest Hemingway
174. The Name Of The Rose, Umberto Eco
175. Sophie's World, Jostein Gaarder
176. Dustbin Baby, Jacqueline Wilson
177. Fantastic Mr. Fox, Roald Dahl
178. Lolita, Vladimir Nabokov
179. Jonathan Livingstone Seagull, Richard Bach
180. The Little Prince, Antoine De Saint-Exupery
181. The Suitcase Kid, Jacqueline Wilson
182. Oliver Twist, Charles Dickens
183. The Power Of One, Bryce Courtenay
184. Silas Marner, George Eliot
185. American Psycho, Bret Easton Ellis
186. The Diary Of A Nobody, George and Weedon Gross-Smith
187. Trainspotting, Irvine Welsh
188. Goosebumps, R. L. Stine
189. Heidi, Johanna Spyri
190. Sons And Lovers, D. H. Lawrence
191. The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera
192. Man And Boy, Tony Parsons
193. The Truth, Terry Pratchett
194. The War Of The Worlds, H. G. Wells
195. The Horse Whisperer, Nicholas Evans
196. A Fine Balance, Rohinton Mistry
197. Witches Abroad, Terry Pratchett
198. The Once And Future King, T. H. White
199. The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Eric Carle
200. Flowers In The Attic, Virginia Andrews
201. The Silmarillion, J.R.R. Tolkien
202. The Eye of the World, Robert Jordan
203. The Great Hunt, Robert Jordan
204. The Dragon Reborn, Robert Jordan
205. Fires of Heaven, Robert Jordan
206. Lord of Chaos, Robert Jordan
207. A Crown of Swords, Robert Jordan
208. Winters Heart, Robert Jordan
209. Crossroads of Twilight, Robert Jordan
210. A Path of Daggers, Robert Jordan
211. As Nature Made Him, John Colapinto
212. Microserfs, Douglas Coupland
213. The Married Man, Edmund White
214. Winter's Tale, Mark Helprin
215. The History of Sexuality, Michel Foucault
216. Cry to Heaven, Anne Rice
217. Same-Sex Unions in Premodern Europe, John Boswell
218. Equus, Peter Shaffer
219. The Man Who Ate Everything, Jeffrey Steingarten
220. Letters To A Young Poet, Rainer Maria Rilke
221. Ella Minnow Pea, Mark Dunn
222. The Vampire Lestat, Anne Rice
223. Anthem, Ayn Rand
224. The Bridge To Terabithia, Katherine Paterson
225. Tartuffe, Moliere
226. The Metamorphosis, Franz Kafka
227. The Crucible, Arthur Miller
228. The Trial, Franz Kafka
229. Oedipus Rex, Sophocles
230. Oedipus at Colonus, Sophocles
231. Death Be Not Proud, John Gunther
232. A Doll's House, Henrik Ibsen
233. Hedda Gabler, Henrik Ibsen
234. Ethan Frome, Edith Wharton
235. A Raisin In The Sun, Lorraine Hansberry
236. ALIVE!, Piers Paul Read
237. Grapefruit, Yoko Ono
238. Trickster Makes This World, Lewis Hyde
239. The Mists of Avalon, Marion Zimmer Bradley
240. Chronicles of Thomas Convenant, Unbeliever, Stephen Donaldson
241. Lord of Light, Roger Zelazny
242. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, Michael Chabon
243. Summerland, Michael Chabon (Thanks jae..the book was really fun reading)
244. A Confederacy of Dunces, John Kennedy Toole
245. Candide, Voltaire
246. The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar and Six More, Roald Dahl
247. Ringworld, Larry Niven
248. The King Must Die, Mary Renault
249. Stranger in a Strange Land, Robert Heinlein
250. A Wrinkle in Time, Madeline L'Engle
251. The Eyre Affair, Jasper Fforde
252. The House Of The Seven Gables, Nathaniel Hawthorne
253. The Scarlet Letter, Nathaniel Hawthorne
254. The Joy Luck Club, Amy Tan
255. The Great Gilly Hopkins, Katherine Paterson (This is sooo cool!)
256. Chocolate Fever, Robert Kimmel Smith
265. Little House on the Prairie, Laura Ingalls Wilder
267. Where The Red Fern Grows, Wilson Rawls
268. Griffin & Sabine, Nick Bantock
269. Witch of Blackbird Pond, Joyce Friedland
270. Mrs. Frisby And The Rats Of NIMH, Robert C. O'Brien
271. Tuck Everlasting, Natalie Babbitt
272. The Cay, Theodore Taylor
273. From The Mixed-Up Files Of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, E.L. Konigsburg
274. The Phantom Tollbooth, Norton Juster
275. The Westing Game, Ellen Raskin
276. The Kitchen God's Wife, Amy Tan
277. The Bone Setter's Daughter, Amy Tan
278. Relic, Duglas Preston & Lincolon Child
279. Wicked, Gregory Maguire
280. American Gods, Neil Gaiman
281. Misty of Chincoteague, Marguerite Henry
282. The Girl Next Door, Jack Ketchum
283. Haunted, Judith St. George
284. Singularity, William Sleator
285. A Short History of Nearly Everything, Bill Bryson
286. Different Seasons, Stephen King - not all the stories though...
287. Fight Club, Chuck Palahniuk
288. About a Boy, Nick Hornby - i still have jae's copy...hehe
289. The Bookmans Wake, John Dunning
290. The Church of Dead Girls, Stephen Dobyns
291. Illusions, Richard Bach
292. Magic's Pawn, Mercedes Lackey
293. Magic's Promise, Mercedes Lackey
294. Magic's Price, Mercedes Lackey
295. The Dancing Wu Li Masters, Gary Zukav
296. Spirits of Flux and Anchor, Jack L. Chalker
297. Interview with the Vampire, Anne Rice
298. The Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices, Brenda Love
299. Infinite Jest, David Foster Wallace
300. The Bluest Eye, Toni Morrison
301. The Cider House Rules, John Irving
302. Ender's Game, Orson Scott Card
303. Girlfriend in a Coma, Douglas Coupland
304. The Lion's Game, Nelson Demille
305. The Sun, The Moon, and the Stars, Stephen Brust
306. Cyteen, C. J. Cherryh
307. Foucault's Pendulum, Umberto Eco
308. Cryptonomicon, Neal Stephenson
309. Invisible Monsters, Chuck Palahniuk
310. Camber of Culdi, Kathryn Kurtz ( I love the collection..most of the are from thrift shops)
311. The Fountainhead, Ayn Rand
312. War and Rememberance, Herman Wouk
313. The Art of War, Sun Tzu
314. The Giver, Lois Lowry
315. The Telling, Ursula Le Guin
316. Xenogenesis (or Liliths Brood), Octavia Butler
317. A Civil Campaign, Lois McMaster Bujold
318. The Curse of Chalion, Lois McMaster Bujold
319. The Aeneid, Publius Vergilius Maro (Vergil)
320. Hanta Yo, Ruth Beebe Hill
321. The Princess Bride, S. Morganstern (or William Goldman)
322. Beowulf, Anonymous
323. The Sparrow, Maria Doria Russell
324. Deerskin, Robin McKinley
325. Dragonsong, Anne McCaffrey
326. Passage, Connie Willis
327. Otherland, Tad Williams
328. Tigana, Guy Gavriel Kay
329. Number the Stars, Lois Lowry
330. Beloved, Toni Morrison
331. Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal, Christopher Moore
332. The Mysterious Disappearance of Leon, I mean Noel, Ellen Raskin
333. Summer Sisters, Judy Blume
334. The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Victor Hugo
335. The Island on Bird Street, URI Orlev
336. Midnight in the Dollhouse, Marjorie Filley Stover
337. The Miracle Worker, William Gibson
338. The Genesis Code, John Case
339. The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Robert Louis Stevenson
340. Paradise Lost, John Milton
341. Phantom, Susan Kay
342. The Mummy or Ramses the Damned, Anne Rice
343. Anno Dracula, Kim Newman
344: The Dresden Files: Grave Peril, Jim Butcher
345: Tokyo Suckerpunch, Issac Adamson
346: The Winter of Magics Return, Pamela Service
347: The Oddkins, Dean R. Koontz
348. My Name is Asher Lev, Chaim Potok
349. The Last Goodbye, Raymond Chandler
350. At Swim, Two Boys, Jaime ONeill
351. Othello, by William Shakespeare
352. The Collected Poems of Dylan Thomas
353. The Collected Poems of William Butler Yeats
354. Sati, Christopher Pike
355. The Inferno, Dante
356. The Apology, Plato
357. The Small Rain, Madeline L'Engle
358. The Man Who Tasted Shapes, Richard E Cytowick
359. 5 Novels, Daniel Pinkwater
360. The Sevenwaters Trilogy, Juliet Marillier
361. Girl with a Pearl Earring, Tracy Chevalier
362. To the Lighthouse, Virginia Woolf
363. Our Town, Thorton Wilder
364. Green Grass Running Water, Thomas King
335. The Interpreter, Suzanne Glass
336. The Moor's Last Sigh, Salman Rushdie
337. The Mother Tongue, Bill Bryson
338. A Passage to India, E.M. Forster
339. The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Stephen Chbosky
340. The Phantom of the Opera
341. Pages for You, Sylvia Brownrigg
342. The Changeover, Margaret Mahy
343. Howl's Moving Castle, Diana Wynne Jones
344. Angels and Demons, Dan Brown
345. Johnny Got His Gun, Dalton Trumbo
346. Shosha, Isaac Bashevis Singer
347. Travels With Charley, John Steinbeck
348. The Diving-Bell and the Butterfly by Jean-Dominique Bauby
349. The Lunatic at Large by J. Storer Clouston
350. Time for Bed by David Baddiel
351. Barrayar by Lois McMaster Bujold
352. Quite Ugly One Morning by Christopher Brookmyre
353. The Bloody Sun by Marion Zimmer Bradley
354. Sewer, Gas, and Eletric by Matt Ruff
355. Jhereg by Steven Brust
356. So You Want To Be A Wizard by Diane Duane
357. Perdido Street Station, China Mieville
358. The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, Anne Bronte
359. Road-side Dog, Czeslaw Milosz
360. The English Patient, Michael Ondaatje
361. Neuromancer, William Gibson
362. The Epistemology of the Closet, Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick
363. A Canticle for Liebowitz, Walter M. Miller, Jr
364. The Mask of Apollo, Mary Renault
365. The Gunslinger, Stephen King
366. Romeo and Juliet, William Shakespeare
367. Childhood's End, Arthur C. Clarke
368. Season of Mists, Neil Gaiman
369. Ivanhoe, Walter Scott
370. The God Boy, Ian Cross
371. The Beekeeper's Apprentice, Laurie R. King
372. Finn Family Moomintroll, Tove Jansson
373. Misery, Stephen King
374. Tipping the Velvet, Sarah Waters
375. Hood, Emma Donoghue
376. The Land of Spices, Kate O'Brien
377. The Diary of Anne Frank
378. Regeneration, Pat Barker
379. Tender is the Night, F. Scott Fitzgerald
380. Dreaming in Cuban, Cristina Garcia
381. A Farewell to Arms, Ernest Hemingway
382. The View from Saturday, E.L. Konigsburg
383. Dealing with Dragons, Patricia Wrede
384. Eats, Shoots & Leaves, Lynne Truss
385. A Severed Wasp - Madeleine L'Eengle
386. Here Be Dragons - Sharon Kay Penman
387. The Mabinogion (Ancient Welsh Tales) - translated by Lady Charlotte E. Guest
388. The DaVinci Code - Dan Brown
389. Desire of the Everlasting Hills - Thomas Cahill
390. The Cloister Walk - Kathleen Norris
391. The Things They Carried, Tim O'Brien
392. I Know This Much Is True, Wally Lamb
393. Choke, Chuck Palahniuk
394. Ender's Shadow, Orson Scott Card
395. The Memory of Earth, Orson Scott Card
396. The Iron Tower, Dennis L. McKiernen
397. Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand
398. A Ring of Endless Light, Madeline L'Engle
399. Lords of Discipline, Pat Conroy
400. Hyperion, Dan Simmons
401. If Nobody Speaks of Remarkable Things, Jon McGregor
402. The Bridge, Iain Banks
403. How to Be Good, Nick Hornby
404. The Stone Diaries, Carol Shields
405. A Map of the World, Jane Hamilton
406. Eragon, Christopher Paolini
407. A Series of Unfortunate Events, Lemony Snicket
408. Lullaby, Chuck Palahniuk
409. Veronika Decides to Die, Paulo Coelho
410. White Oleander, Janet Fitch
411. The Land of Laughs, Jonathan Carroll
412. Forrest Gump
413. Roots, Alex Haley
414. Kleopatra, Karen Essex
415. Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister, Gregory Maguire
416. The Psycho-Ex Game, Merrill Markoe, Andy Prieboy
417. Digital Fortress, Dan Brown
418. Deception Point, Dan Brown
419. Bookends, Jane Green
420. Little Men, Louisa May Alcott
421. Vectors, Michael P. Kube-Mcdowell
422. Redwall, Brian Jacques
423. Millennium, Felipe Fernàndez-Armesto
424. Disgrace, J.M.Coetzee
425. Shardik, Richard Adams
426. Tehanu, Ursula Le Guin
427. Z - A Love Story, Vigdis Grimsdottir
428. Diary, Chuck Palahniuk
429. Don Quixote I, Cervantes
430. Season in hell, Arthur Rimbaud
431. Collected poems, Anna Akhmatova
432. Breath, eyes, memory, Edwidge Danticat
433. The Satanic Verses, Salman Rushdie - read a hundred or so pages of it, never got around to finishing it
434. The Gospel According to Jesus Christ, José Saramago
435. Not Before Sundown (or Troll - A Love Story), Johanna Sinisalo
436. Hannibal, Thomas Harris
437. The Iron Dragon's Daughter, Michael Swanwick
438. A Game of Thrones, George R.R. Martin
439. The Ballad of Reading Gaol, Oscar Wilde
440. The Universe in a Nutshell, Stephen Hawking
441. Complicity, Iain Banks
442. Never Let Me Go, Kazuo Ishiguro
443. The Bane Of The Black Sword, Micheal Moorcock
444. Angela's Ashes, Frank McCourt
445. Delta Of Venus, Anais Nin
446. Lost souls, Poppy Z Brite
447. Belle de jour diary of a london call girl
448. Neverwhere - Neil Gaiman
449. City, Alessandro Baricco
450. Hippopotamus, Stephen Fry
451. Thank you, Jeeves, PG Wodehouse
452. Tout à l'Ego (Everything for Ego), Tonino Benacquista
453. Betty Blue, Philippe Djian
454. Naive.Super, Erlend Loe
455. Everything is Illuminated, Jonathan Safran Foer
456. Faust, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
457. Krabat, Otfried Preußler
458. Lieutenant Hornblower, C. S. Forester
459. The Importance of Being Earnest, Oscar Wilde
460. Drawing Blood, Poppy Z. Brite
461. Lady Chatterley's Lover, D. H. Lawrence
462. The Bounty, Caroline Alexander
463. The Matarese Circle, by Robert Ludlum
464. Coraline, by Neil Gaiman
465. Searching for Dragons, Patricia C Wrede
466. The Long Dark Teatime of the Soul, Douglas Adams
467. The Flanders Panel Arturo Pérez-Reverte
468. This Alien Shore, C. S. Friedman
469. Beauty , Robin McKinley
470. The Eight, Katherine Neville
471. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, J.K. Rowling
472. In this House of Brede, Rumer Godden
473. The Abolition of Man, C.S. Lewis
474. Reginald, H.H. Munro (Saki)
475. Queen Lucia, E.F. Benson
476. A Shadow On The Glass, Ian Irvine
477. The Remains of the Day, Kazuo Ishiguro
478. Obernewtyn, Isobelle Carmody
479. The Ancient Future, Traci Harding
480. The Surgeon, Tess Gerritse
481. Blindness, Jose Saramago
482. The Quiet American, Graham Greene
483. Portrait in Sepia, Isabelle Allende
484. Middlesex, Jeffrey Eugenides
485. I, Claudius, Robert Graves
486. A Clash of Kings, George R. R. Martin
487. Sammy's Hill, Kristin Gore
488. The Ordinary Princess, M.M. Kaye
489. To Say Nothing of the Dog, Connie Willis
490. Miss Manners Rescues Civilization, Judith Martin
491. Mythology, Edith Hamilton
492. Danse Macabre, Stephen King
493. The Scarlet Pimpernel, Baroness Orczy
494. The Whale Rider, Witi Ihimaera
495. Ella Enchanted, Gail Carson Levine
496. 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, Jules Verne
497. The Metemorphoses, Ovid
496. Star Wars: The New Jedi Order: Edge of Victory I: Conquest, Greg Keyes
497. American Pastoral, Philip Roth
498. This Side of Paradise, F. Scott Fitzgerald
499. A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, James Joyce
500. Going After Cacciato, Tim O'Brien
501. Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot (and Other Observations), Al Franken
502. The Kalevala, assembled by Elias Lönnrot
503. New Treasure Seekers, E. Nesbit
504. Caramelo, Sandra Cisneros
505. Morality for Beautiful Girls, Alexander McCall Smith
506. Norwegian Wood, Haruki Murakami
507. Schwarz's Principles of Surgery
508. Written on the Body, Jeanette Winterson
509. The Rules of Attraction - Bret Easton Ellis
510. Shanghai Baby - Wei Hui
511. The Virgin Suicides - Jeffrey Eugenides
512. Watchmen - Alan Moore
513. Werewolves in their Youth - Michael Chabon
514. Slaughterhouse-Five - Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
515. Chronicle of a Death Foretold - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
516. Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell - Susanna Clarke
517. Mr. Popper's Penguins - Richard and Florence Atwater -
518. The Bourne Trilogy (Bourne Identity, Supremacy and Ultimatum) - Robert Ludlum
519. Snow Queen
520. The Mother - Pearl S. Buck

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Pretty cool ist though i wish i saw more children's books in them... most of my gradeschool years were spent in the library sitting on the floor wjen all my classmates have gone home. ahhsa haba ng list tinamad na sko mag blog..got to get home!!!!