I just finished reading today's article in the online version of Our Daily Bread, a devotion guide that I grew up with. The article, entitled Incompatible?, reminded me of how important it is to deal with relationships in the right manner.
Although I am the type who generally gets along pretty well with almost anyone and everyone I meet, when I get really irked or someone rubs me the wrong way it's quite hard for me to give that person a second chance. I hold my few grudges very dearly... I don't scream at the person or act cold, rather as a civilized human being, I just stay away and keep my irritation or resentment bottled up deep inside. Mark feels extremely uncomfortable when I get this way because he says its just not like me. But the problem is, it is exactly like me. An excuse as lame as it is true.
Incompatible reminded me that in every relationship, and yes we do have a relationship with every person we've met, we have to show "compassion for one another, be tenderhearted, and be courteous...". It may sound daunting and even impossible to treat each and every person that comes our way in this manner. Yes, courtesy is pretty easy, but what about compassion and tenderheartedness? That is the challenge.
We have become such civilized, logical, practical people that sometimes there is little room left for love. We tend to box our lives and make little compartments where every relationship is labelled. I will do this much for relationships labelled A, only this much for type B relationships and I try so hard to close the lid on relationships labelled Z. We try to pretend that some people do not exist, afterall it must be better to ignore someone than have to deal with or forgive the *******. We have to open the lids to Z relationships and look at it closely. We have to learn not to run away from relationships we'd rather not have. We have to examine how to deal with incompatibilities and still show compassion and love.
I'm sure I'll choke on these words when I meet some of my "favorite" people. But hopefully it'll spur me to at least try little by little to learn to deal with them better.
"What counts most in creating a successful team is not how compatible its players are, but how they deal with incompatibility." -- Sports Illustrated