Thursday, July 15, 2004

The Betrayal I Fear

I was looking for Sophie's World when I chanced upon my sister's book (Disappointment With God by Phillip Yancey). I skimmed trough it but the very first words I read, which was actually a quotation, made my mind whirl.

"You do not have to sit outside in the dark.
If, however, you want to look at the stars,
you will find that darkness is required.
The stars neither require nor demand it."
-- Annie Dillard

I couldn't go on reading the book because I'm afraid. I'm just starting to be in full control of my life again. I feel like I've been sitting in the dark for so long...maybe, far too long. But still I just can't look up! I bow my head and refuse to look at the stars, afraid that when I do, no stars will be shining for me.

"Yet when I hoped for good, evil came;
when I looked for light, then came darkness.
The churning inside me never stops."

from Job 30:26-27


Hannah Grace said...


I do understand that Dillard wanted to convey how the dark times of our lives actually enable or help us to see the God's hand in our lives. However, as an ordinary person, I just wanted to write about how I felt everytime I look for help and seem to find none. I'm just plain tired of having to go out in the "dark" and to look at the "stars" specially since I have a rather poor vision so that half of the time I can't see the stars clearly.

Anonymous said...

Meron akong Sophie's World :) hiram ka?

ET said...

I've read two of Yancey's books, but not Disappointed with God. I must say your choices (with Sophie's World) are really two extreme options of looking at the world and in life. If you've heard of the notion that everybody gets their own set of glasses with which to view life, then I would say that you have two glasses with those books.

If I may suggest, do read both. Taking that suggestion further, read Yancey last. Sophie's is a little on the academic side. And If I know Yancey correctly, it will be a breath of fresh air and I know that despite the title, you will end up appreciating life more. Note, I didn't say that you will appreciate or understand God more (you may end up with a lot of questions even) but it will leave you with a refreshed sensibility that just might help you take that next step into finding the answers for yourself.

Anonymous said...

well said & done...
In every mans lyf, comes a day his heart broken & soul torn n 2 many pieces. It is a methaphor: that makes u see the light from all this madness & cloudy storm?
a balance of um yang ? but why it has 2 be this way?