Couldn't Sleep

Just am not feeling sleepy. Have no articles to rush. Read most of my mail. Checked friendster. Gave Sam his milk and lulled him to sleep. Texted Mark. Read some. But I still couldn't sleep.

Better do some catch up blogging. Just snippets cause I don't really feel like writing.

- Nikki's supposed to visit tomorrow. Hope he makes it.
- Sam's taking Motillium. I think the syringe that came with it is really cool.
- Mark and Angel are finally done (I think) with their MACZEDAM project. Yay! Mark can now have 2-day weekends.
- Am posting for Scigg.com. Yes the idea's a rip off from digg but give it a chance. At least look it up and vote for one of my posts. It's a job-related thing I at least really enjoy doing. :p
- Am also maintaining two blogs. One about blackjack and the other about betting systems and tools. I don't think I can post the URL though cause technically I don't exist. Although writing for those blogs is pretty easy it bugs me that no one reads the blogs. The blog is after all just a section of the site and most probably exists just to provide regular fresh content to the site as part of SEO. Ugh. If not for the money it'll depress me that my efforts in writing gets so wasted.
- I need a Paypal account to get more projects. Not a real priority though.
- Plan on doing a fundraiser middle of next year. Anyone care to help me brainstorm?
- Mark and I wanted to buy an IXUS i-Zoom we saw in a catalogue. It's just around 19K and can be paid installment for zero interest. Comes with a free Selphy 700 too. Too bad we don't have a BPI credit card.
- Again I need a camera so I can take Sam's picture whenever he looks amazingly cute, which is about every other hour.
- I'm finally getting sleepy. Rambling works.
- Should clean Sam's bottles before I go to sleep but will probably end up asking my mom to do it.
- I should stop being so lazy and be a better mom.
- Sam couldn't sleep well for long periods if he can't touch my face or at least sense that I'm beside him.
- Life can be so sweet.
- A good thought is a nice closing. Will help me sleep peacefully.
- Night world.

Happy Birthday

Thea, Gio, and Jerry.

Love you three! ^_^

In Love (not for the anti-mush)

Most days you just plod through life going through the motions. Most days I feel happy and content but I don't feel deep-seated joy. Most days I care for my husband and know that I love him but I don't feel the gut-wrenching feeling of being in love. Today is not like most days. Since yesterday until today I've been sooo in love with Mark. I've been missing him and thinking about him, feeling like I used to when "mag-crushan" pa lang kami. I keep on remember our little flirtations, the concentrated attention, the pa-simple moves, the double talks, tampuhan, lambingan, the long talks, and our friendship. I keep on remembering how Thea hated us for feeling OP and how I always felt like dressing up just to see the sparkle in his eye. To be honest I think I fell in love with Mark first. We were both attracted to each other but I loved him first. I loved him first but he loved me better. I loved him and still loves him with such a whirlwind of emotions but he loved me and still loves me calmly and perseveringly. I stayed for him when he was down and needed me but I couldn't help him grow and be better. He keeps on being insensitive and sometimes doesn't understand what I need but in the end he manages to help me change and grow to a better person. Sometimes I don't think I'm what he needs and it hurts me like hell but I figure out it's ok because I'm still what he wants. And then there are days when it's quite obvious that he needs me and I sit there quiet beside him savoring the moment. As for me I'm still crazy about Mark. Ask any of my friends. They don't understand and I don't either. He's always been what I wanted and needed.

Words are so inadequate.

I love you Mark.
I love you Pa.

I feel so blessed that I have you in my life. Thanks for not quitting on us. Thanks for giving me Sam. Thanks for not allowing me to lose myself and helping me find my way back. You are my home.