I couldn't sleep.
This time though, what kept me awake was not my own problems but that of two people I dearly love. I've been trying to wrap my head around the two very different situations they're in, but I just can't. I want to be supportive. Do the right thing. Help. Be accepting. Point out their mistakes. Shake them. Make sure they get the lesson they're supposed to learn. Fix things.
In the end, all my thoughts and emotions just left me confused, tired, and in a state of grief. So I turned back to the one thing that has never failed - prayer.
And that's when I got it. There may be lessons stored for them, but right now what I should bother with are the lessons in store for me, the first being not to resort to prayer last! Why in the world should I keep on figuring out ways to help them fix their lives when I myself keep on forgetting the simple formula? Yes, I should learn to be accepting, loving, a real peace maker, and an honest person who can support but rebuke in love. But most of all, I should learn first and always "cast my burdens upon Him". To grow close to Christ and reflect the love He has graciously given me. Then and only then will I have the peace of knowing that He will never let go of me and these two people I hold so dearly in my heart. I may not be able to fix things, but I can rest in the knowledge that just as God never failed me so will he continue to love and seek the rest of His bullheaded children.
So the key to peace is something my mom has been telling me for ages. It's something I've known for so long and just keep on putting off the way I keep on trying to ignore my sinus attacks when I fully know how a few minutes of using a steam vaporiser can do wonders. Faith and trust is still the key to peace.
As for the other lesson I learned today... If I don't want to end up being like the judgemental and self-righteous people I truly dislike, then I should always look at things in the right perspective. Instead of thinking about what, how, and why people got into the situations they're in as well as the supposed life lessons for them, I should wonder about the lessons I can learn from them. Every single thing that happens in life is after all an opportunity for me to learn something. It's not about being self-absorbed, but learning to have the humility that there truly is so much I need to learn and re-learn.
And with that, I think I might yet squeeze in another couple hours worth of sleep. Back to bed for me.