Home Staples

My sister tagged me so I need to think about stuff that you will 100% find in our house 24/7. Here's what I came up with...

1. Hair - I sometimes wonder why I still haven't gone bald with the rate of hair loss I've been experiencing. At least it isn't as bad now as a year ago.
2. Soiled diapers - Everyone with babies and toddlers have had to content with this one.
3. Condiments - We've run our of rice, drinking water, Sam's milk, and all other ingredients but have never run out of all of the condiments all at the same time. No wonder Mark has kidney problems. :p
4. Medicine - I stock up on medicine and try to keep track of what we have and don't. Still you can't always be sure we'll have what you need when you need it. Most likely Murphy's Law will reign.
5. Notebooks and index cards - Mark is a notebook addict. We have lots of unused and partly used notebooks and a stock of index cards lying around.
6. Toys - You'll find toys all over the house. From the bedroom to the bathroom. You won't be able to escape it.
7. Receipts - I have a habit of holding on to receipts, especially atm receipts, till I get pissed off with the amount of receipts littered on my desk and in my fat wallet (fat lang gawa ng receipts!) and do a preiodical receipt purge. Btw I got really paranoid about ATM receipts after a technical glitch that made me lose 1ok. If I hadn't kept the receipt I wouldn't have gotten it back. Oha! Kaya keep your ATM receipts for at least a couple of weeks.

Am sure there's more but as usual I tire of thinking things up. Mark feel free to add to this on the comment section. ^_^

Not tagging anyone but do tell me what your home staples are.

Jumpin' juniper it's a jolly January!

So far this year has been a good one for me. Considering that it's just the first month optimists would say that it bodes well for a good year while pessimists would say something like "wait till you see what the rest of the year of holds for you (with accompanying smirk of course)". Today the optimist in me has won and I am looking forward to more blessings, surprises, and little triumphs this year.

Short list (with long detailed explanations/descriptions) of things to be thankful for this January.

Sam's reaction to fireworks. Although we spent New Year's eve in Bay where there weren't that much fireworks Sam enjoyed himself extremely. His reaction to the pops are much faster and he can now spot the fireworks faster when we point them out to him. Yun nga lagn super nabitin cya kasi medyo konti lang fireworks. He ended up turning and twisting everytime he heard a bang eh paputok lang naman or it was too far away to see!

Long Wendy's chikkahan with Angel complete with laughs, a few tears, and lots of fast talking. Got to see Frank Miller's Spirit that night too. Angel and I decided to go for it after Mark read that the director was 300's director. Real reason: the ABS! The first few minutes didn't disappoint us in this regard and since we went in with absolutely no idea what it was about (I thought it was a horror flick...hehe) we were pleasantly surprised with the whole movie. It was a real laugh, though I'm not sure if it was really supposed to be a comedy either.

Cris Tanseco's wedding and reunion with the girls. I absolutely loved everything about Cris' wedding. So far it's the best one I've attended (that includes mine ha...hehe). There really is something to say for intimate weddings. The number of guests were very limited - close friends and family only. The chapel was nice (Jas loved it but am not to huge a fan of white and gold), the priest was a hunk, his message was short, refreshing and insightful, the wedding vows so heartfelt, the food delicious from the soup to the dessert to the martini, and the couple so in love and perfect for each other it will literally make you go awww. The wedding was all about the vows, sharing the happy moment with loved ones, and simply enjoying the moment. It really was the most relaxing wedding I've ever been to. Am going to post pics next time. Ay thank you Gel for letting Jas and I raid your closet. Hehe.

A "new" nephew. A cousin has met his son for the first time and we absolutely love the little boy. He looks so much like Silas and acts like him too! Am glad for my cousin that he's finally met his little boy. Always better late than never. ^_^

Productivity with Sunlife. I am still far from being the most productive Sunlife agent but at least this year started with a couple of settled apps. Here's to being more productive this year and to becoming a better agent ( disipline + courage + persistence = better ). I have the product knowledge and genuinely care about my clients' interest so all I really need to work on is becoming a sales person. Hehe. Big challenge. Doable. Help!

Lost pounds. Am extremely happy that despite not sticking to my diet due to the Christmas vacation I still managed not to go back to heaviest weight and kept the five pounds I lost prior to Christmas. Hurraz!!!!

Relationship with Mark. We're being nicer to each other. That may seem like a funny statement to be thankful for but it is really significant because to me it means that we...

• want to please each other more
• are more concerned about each other's feelings
• have grown a bit more matured
• are learning how to express our love (and frustrations) in a way the other person will understand
• are journeying towards a better marriage each day.

It truly is living more for the other person than yourself. In the end no one loses out because you both end up giving and loving more and more. Sheesh. Seems elementary but those of you who aren't married should just wait to see why it takes more work than batting your eyes at each other and saying sweet nothings (though that is extremely important too!)

Attention LB Peeps

Am blogging at 10493 (Connections) right now. Am feeling REALLY nostalgic and felt the urge to go online here (besides the fact that only very few of the net shops here in LB open this early. The last time I went online here was when I was a freshman or sophomore in college. That was looong ago. The connections much faster and their PCs are also faster but things are a bit eeky with everything discolored and a bit sticky. Nevertheless just being here makes me feel a bit weepy and happy and sad all at the same time. Much has changed and also remained the same. I miss being young and just a bit less complicated... But then again things aren't really that complicated now it's just a matter of how we take things. I miss the college LB days. I miss all of you that made LB even more special (or at least tolerable during the extended years...hehe) for me.

LB GIMMICK!!!

Offline and Happier

I rarely go online now and am really happy about it. I guess it is just right considering I was a technophobe way back in high school. It was only really because of my sister and Mark that I ended up liking computers. I still do enjoy the convenience the internet bring and still sometimes play silly games like DinerDash and Bookworm Adventure but now I spend more time doing things I originally liked and have found that I still really like a lot - snuggling with Sam, meeting friends, educating people about something I believe in, figuring out ways to give clients the best possible solution, listening to music, sleeping on the MRT, and eating out with Mark even if sa jollyjeep lang.

Sorry blog. I love you but I don't expect to be paying that much attention to you again in the near future. I am learning to explore life outside the net again and am finding that it is indeed more fulfilling.

I Told You So

Here's how my day went

6:00 am - Woke up, gave sam his milk, changed Sam's diapers, back to sleep
6:30 am - Tried to wake Mark up, failed to do so
7:30 am - Tried to wake Mark up, failed to do so but apparently he woke up on his own after I fell asleep
8:00 am - Woke up, Mark telling me something, tried to shut out the noise
8:30 am - Got up, turned on the PC, discovered there was no internet connection, tidied up the bed a bit
8:45 am - loaded the washing machine, swept the floor, tidied up the messy sala/dining room a bit
9:00 am - fed Sam cereal
9:30 am - house got flooded, had to clean up the floor and dry everything that got wet, thankfully Mark's Papa was there to help me
10:00 am - bathed Sam
10:30 am - took a shower
10:45 am - hung up the clean clothes to dry
11:00 am - left for Sam's team therapy
11:15 am - walked to SM to meet Kuya Dowy, realised that the number we had in Nokia meant a looong waiting time; withdrew money
11:45 am - ate some fries at Wendy's
12:00 nn - waitedgot the missing pieces from the clothes rack we bought at SM; checked the queue...still too long
12:30 pm - picked up Sam at Little Camp; Teacher Con was late as usual..still not done
1:00 pm - got home from little Camp; scurried to get the dry clothes and hang up new ones, gave Sam his lunch (left the feeding to Kuya Dowy after initiating it), hurriedly ate my lunch
1:30 pm - left again to go back to Nokia
2:00 pm - got the phone
2:15 pm - got my residence certificate (sedula);
2:30 pm - called BIR to confirm I have no record; gave Kuya Dowy his phone; grabbed my papers
3:00 pm - arrived at BIR main office; explained I needed a TIN number and for what reason and was told I couldn't get one until I got a certificate of employment (strange since I am not employed and needed it to take the insurance licensure exam on Saturday)
3:20 pm - went to BIR verifications office; still no record
4:15 pm - arrived at Lepanto Building; was directed to the insurance main office
4:30 pm - arrived at Enterprise Building; was told that BIR had it all wrong and all I needed to do was explain that I was applying as an agent and not an employee and that I just needed it to take the exam; waits for exam permit form to show to BIR
5:00 pm - arrived at BIR in the Atrium; will not be accommodated because it was already 5pm; was told I was given the wrong form but still needed certification from the employer; getting really frustrated because the people there couldn't understand simple logic...I HAD NO EMPLOYER! I just needed it for an exam so I can be hired as an agent! The BIR person finally understood and told me I actually need to go to go BACK to Quezon City but a different office this time to ask for another (3rd form). Not sure if he's right this time. Left really frustrated and hyperventillating.
5:30 pm - arrived at Greenbelt; told myself not to call a certain person to vent; I did and what I get is an I understand but I told you so...
5:45 pm - walking to MRT fighting the tears; I couldn't breathe; I end up crying as I walk but it's ok nobody noticed everyone was in too much of a hurry
6:00 pm - had to get it off my chest
6:17 pm - finished this blog post; going home to Sam

Post-argument blog post: Chopped up thoughts on marriage

Mark and I got into a heated discussion tonight about corruption, change of heart, and actions. It is an important issue but one that I think shouldn't be important enough in one's life to end up unintentionally hurting your partner's feelings. As a matter of fact I don't think there's anything important enough in this life that should make you raise your voice at someone you love. Not that I'm saying that there are things that are not important enough to be angry over but that even in anger we should learn not to hurt each other.

My problem with becoming upset is that after a few days I almost always can't even remember what I was upset about but I sure remember the feeling. I need to learn to flush out the negativity in me quick....I should learn to remember the facts better and forget the feelings a bit. Someone needs to understand that I don't remember facts that much but that the way I feel/felt is a fact.

Nobody's perfect. We each have room for improvement. Nobody's too imperfect that they can not find it in themselves to change.

Marriage is a big part of this dance of life and even with two left feet I'm resolved to learn the moves and someday be able to dance without stepping on my husband's toes or having him step on mine (super bigat pa naman...ang sakit!).

Learning from Sacha

This is all about a blog I love to read and I think is worth sharing. If you don't know Sacha Chua (and I admit I don't know much about her beyond the fact that she went to the same high school I did, she's a genius, she's cute, and speaks in this cute little voice) I think you really should get to know her through her blog. It's funny how I still think of her as this high school kid in uniform so that I feel like she has wisdom beyond her years. I guess she does have wisdom beyond her years though since people a lot older than her (like moi...) will learn a lot or at least be reminded of what they've learned before by reading her thoughts. The blog is full of the kind of practical idealism that I've been wanting to imbibe. Been wanting to write something really deep but heck I'll just link to the latest fave posts from her.

An all exclusive Sacha Chua painting (got to love her sketches!)

Relentless improvement and a focus on the positive - Will the 3/3/1 help make our marriage work better? Hmmm... Should talk this over with Mark to find out. For bosses (paging Kuya Ariel!) this is something you should check out, might work for your team. ^_^
The only way to fight the darkness is to blaze even brighter with light - This says it all.
It’s not just for you - it helps other people remember the steps, too! - Maybe I wouldn't think I suck so bad at dancing if I had a such a great dance teacher. Oh wait...I never did take dance lessons!

An Extraordinary Experience at X/O Philippines

I've been trying to put off this post till I get some pics to go with it but since I can't find anything about X/O Philippines on the net except for this one Inquirer article I'm posting anyway. If you want to see the food then just visit the place yourself. Sorry!

The last time my sister and I went out and watched a movie/concert together (U2 3D was great btw) we ate at Banana Leaf. The food at Banana Leaf was NOT spectacular nor the service great. We were doubly disappointed after riding the escalator up The Block at SM and saw the cool ambiance of X/O Philippines and wished we'd dined there instead. Anyway a couple of weeks back Mark, Jamuel, Gemma, I and Sam decided to eat out and it truly was an extraordinary experience for me for several reasons:

• The place was really nice. I looooved the chairs...at least on the outside part. The whole ambiance was pretty nice.
• The service was ok. The people were nice and though they didn't have the best service it was passable for a small and new restaurant.
• The food was truly extraordinary. I absolutely loved their take on the kare-kare. Kare-kare is almost always good but usually all you can say about it is that it is good. Their kare-kare was really innovative. All the ingredients was cooked and served separately with the bowl of sauce on the side. Some of the veggies were fried while some were simply either blanched or steamed (not sure which). The pork was the best part with the ribs roasted and spiced with slat and some other stuff I do not know what. It was delicious. The rest of the food was equally good although the tapa tips was a bit too tasty, I guess it was a bit overpowering though only because we didn't eat it with the bread and the buts, which it was supposed to go with (we ordered the appetizer last...LOL). The Bicol express would also satisfy any true Bicolano although you'd better be careful with the sigarilyas (winged beans) because as Jamu found out too late some of the sigarilyas were actually very hot green peppers.
• And last but not the least, the most extraordinary part of the meal for me was that the leg of the chair I was sitting on broke and I fell in slow motion... It wasn't too embarrassing since there was only one other table with people but it still made me lose my appetite...but only for a few minutes. No, I'm not yet that heavy but the leg was already ready to give. We ended up having one free dessert (yummy buko pandan) but as my sister pointed out I ended up spending more for the BENGAY I needed to ease the muscle pain the next day. Hmmm. Should have asked for BENGAY instead of dessert. If anyone asks me though I'm willing to go back to try their other dishes though I fell flat on my butt and all that, which says a lot about how much I enjoyed the food.
  

Work

Everyday I open my Google Reader to read through this. Guess what I do for a living?

Valentines Day

This day is going pretty well. Mark and I have no plans at all since he is in the office rushing some project. It started out pretty well though with Mark greeting me before we went to bed last night (madaling araw pala) and this morning before he left for work. Considering how we often forget to celebrate occasions I actually feel good about this one. Even with Mark busy I feel like this time he just really needs to work but would rather spend some time with me and Sam. That feels good. Besides we get to save money. Hehe. In this case it really is the thought that counts. I love you Mark!

I am also getting a little bit better about waking up and haven't been spending the entire day in bed. My energy levels are slowly increasing and I don't feel really hopeless. I really do hope this lasts. I hate going back to the deep dark pit of depression. It's inexplicably horrible.

On another note I have decided to start sending a forwarded text messages now and then. My ninang/tita El sent me a very encouraging message the other night and it made me feel good. It made me remember one of my conversations with another mommy friend. After not seeing each other for months she thanked me for sending her inspirational messages about once or twice a month. She said that they usually arrived at a time when she felt really low and discouraged but she never replied because during those times she just didn't know how to tell her troubles. It's kind of funny since I almost never reply to Ava or Armi (two of the most frequent people to forward text messages to me). I always say na kuripot lang ako sa text but the truth is I too don't know what to say. My point is I realize that as long as I don't end up spamming people I should pass those forwarded messages or come up with my own inspirational quotes since you never know who needs it that day. It's also a good way to let people know that you think about them now and then.

I'm just rambling.

Happy valentines everyone!

Bullet Points

Ack! I posted on the other blog by mistake but I made it!!! Two minutes to spare. Phew..Even with blogging procrastination is something I have to battle with. Anyway here's my first Feb post.

Holiday Recap

• Best Noche Buena in a long time. I will post about our Balagtasclan reunion and the mini-party mom set-up for the kids who were going around next time.
• Great time during New Year too. Spent it with Mark's parents and brother's family in Pacita. This also warrants it's own post complete with pictures.

2008 Enters

• Regrets: I didn't get to download a 2008 background for my old phone like I did last year. I loved the corny 2007 background.
• Goals: Get a little more fit (am at my heaviest weight ever). Lose some girth. Work on my mental state. Become responsible at work. Have a more structured day for me and Sam. Go on real dates with Mark. Start praying and reading the Bible again.
• Issues: Possibility of having an actual office job (part-time).
  
• Pressing questions on my mind: Which scenario do I actually fear? Am I escaping the fact that I'm a failure as a mom if I work or that I'm a failure as a career girl?
  
• Mood: Existentialist mode (which simply means I'm confused). Help! :p

Latest Highlights of My Life

• The holidays
• Sleepover of Ninong Ian's latest luurve and our get-together with BEDMI minus Ian and Mart (plus Cha of course).
• Mark's Mama and me finally opening up to each other about how we felt about me and Mark getting married at first.
• Sam's pa-cute/beautiful eyes mode and other new skills.

Wants

• The next book to the series I am reading.
• Ceramic iron (for my short hair).
• New clothes. Yay!
• Washing machine.
• Oven.
• House decors (Ref magnets whee!)

Characteristics to Cultivate

• Optimism
• Perseverance
• Discipline
• Courage
  

I guess this post turned out to be more eclectic than I intended to but there's just so much going on in my mind and I don't really have time for anything other than bullet points.

Here's to me posting more frequently!!!

P.S. Thanks to everyone who sent gifts to Sam. Wasn't able to say thank you to anyone really. How embarrassing! We (hehe kasama kami sa nag enjoy sa toys) loved them all!!!

2007 Recap

It's just a few minutes before February and I feel the NEED to blog before January ends. Anyway with just a few minutes to to type away here are some of my thoughts and some events in my life.

2007 Recap

• Good in terms of Mark's career move.
• Very good in terms of Sam's improvement health-wise.
• Very good in terms of opportunities opening up to me.
• Very bad in terms of me making the most out of opportunities.
• Very good in terms of starting to have an even better relationship with Mark.
• Very good in terms of finding a good helper.
• Very good in terms of me taking more steps to be closer to my mom and dad.
• Very good in terms of me taking more concrete steps to get my head get screwed back in place. Pretty poor in terms of making significant progress in that regard.

Need to post!!! More by Feb 1! OC!

Therapy Photos and Mommy Talk

Thanks to Ninang Cherry's phone we finally have recent photos of Sam. There are really cool videos but I don't feel like uploading them tonight. Anyway here's Sam with his teacher and one of him with his anti-social classmate. You can see how strong he's getting and even though staying upright in all fours might not be a big deal for many 2 yr old kids we're so proud of his progress with his arm and leg strength. Hopefully he'll be able to walk before he turns four. I would be ecstatic if he does it by the time he turns three but realistically my goal is to see him stand with minimal assistance by then. Sam is actually standing on the pic where he's holding up a toy ring. He has a horrible time being held up but at least he actually bears some weight on his soles now. What a fighter my boy is. I'm so proud of him. By the way I intentionally chose the blurred picture of his classmate because I have no permission to post his pic. It's actually funny because Sam has been able to "bully" two of his classmates since last week. I guess I shouldn't worry much about him being bullied when he grows up. He was able to make a much bigger boy cry by sticking his stubby fingers into the boy's nose although to be fair the kid has cerebral palsy so him and Sam sitting together made for two floppy boys. (Note: It isn't funny making other kids cry especially when they feel helpless. I can't explain it but it was ok that time.) He was able to make the little boy in the photo below cry simply by sitting beside the kid since that cute little boy (he's one of my favorite classmate of Sam's) is scared of small kids. Believe it or not even at his age Sam is already helping other kids by cooperating with his teacher in trying to draw out the less sociable kids at therapy. It's great to see him grow.

Sam doing the quadruped.
Sam only needs minimal support in this position.

Sam playing with toy rings while Teacher Con
corrects his standing position. Look no tears!

Sam's classmate (who is already able to walk) making his getaway.

Earthquake

Who felt the earthquake that happened just a couple of minutes ago?

Going Deaf

It feels like this is being done directly above our bedroom!

Considering the size our apartment there isn't anywhere to hide. This has been going on for weeks since the owner decided to add rooms on the rooftop (now the 6th floor I guess). Thank God there are two floors between our place and the actual construction site. I'll go crazy if I lived on the 5th floor. Not everyone leaves the house for work you know!!! Argh! I hope they finish up all this construction really soon!!!

Image Source: Threadless

Help Has Arrived

These past couple of weeks have been really good for me. I never realized that things could turn around so fast for me. I know that in reality things have already been in the upswing for sometime but something in me was unable to fully appreciate the blessings in my life. It's so hard to explain and impossible for those who haven't gone through what I have to really grasp what I am saying but still I just want to share the fact that life really does not have to look impossibly bleak. There's always battles to be fought but it doesn't have to all be an uphill climb.

I guess all I really want to say (without going into details) is - GET HELP. It really does make a difference.

For me help has arrived and after two weeks of being a spoiled and pampered momma it's time to help myself again.

Thanks Mark. I will be strong again...someday. :p

Walking in the Rain

I have always liked rainy days. It might simply be that in this country the rain provides respite from the heat but it might also be because the rain makes me feel a bit more at peace.

When we were kids my sister and I used to go out and play in the rain enjoying the moment despite the fact that we ended up shivering and almost unable to move much sometimes (at least I remember me shivering and feeling that way). Each time the sun started to peek out I felt both disappointment and relief since I knew I could go in and take a long hot shower...another thing I really loved.

The other day, when I wrote the post about being upset, I decided to take a long walk in the rain. I needed some exercise to get a healthy dose of endorphins and to get me started in my quest to get in shape. Donning on my new rubber shoes (which we got at half the price at Ali Mall ^_^...Don't you love introductory prices?) and this dry-fit shirt I bought a year ago (also on sale then...hehe) but was then too tight for me (yes I fit in it now! Yay!), I said bye to Sam and his yaya, who was scurrying to give me an umbrella. I pretended not to hear Gemalyn and went on my not-so-merry way.

Walking in the rain in this city proved to be a very interesting thing to do. Some of the reasons (I'm sure I'm bound to forget some of the interesting stuff I noticed then) why it was really interesting for me was....

1. People kept looking at me strangely - This guy, who was selling old umbrellas that were obviously stolen or at least scavenged , approached me but suddenly veered away when he realized that I was enjoying the rain. It seemed that some people were scared. I loved it.
2. People offered me an umbrella and jeepney drivers shouted at me to get off the rain and ride instead - This wouldn't have been so strange if they did this to everyone without umbrellas. The thing is, there were plenty of people with heads down scurrying to get out of the rain and nobody seemed to really notice them. I, on the other hand, who obviously was enjoying the rain, kept on being "helped" by people. It was nice but it would have been nicer if people noticed those who were actually in need and not just those who were doing something that was not the norm.
3. I broke a sweat from walking but didn't feel sticky - Really stupid for this to be interesting because the rain obviously washed away the sweat. It is still interesting for me though because I now know of another way to exercise (aside from swimming) and not be bothered about the heat and the sweat. I do not really like exercising and the sticky feeling (especially on a humid day) is one of the many factors why I feel that way.
4. I wasn't bothered by the air pollution - I started walking after it had already been raining for hours. It was great breathing in (though I still didn't take deep breaths) the air in EDSA and not feel all choked up with the smog.
5. There were less vagrants in EDSA - The rain really does keep people indoors. Even the beggars didn't like to get wet much and no one bothered me while it was raining hard. On my way back from Quezon Ave (yes I walked all the way there from out house) the rain had abated and the little kids were already out pestering me for coins and the doughnuts I bought for Gemalyn.

If you've never walked in the rain, you really must try it. Make sure you take a hot shower after though or you're guaranteed to get the sniffles. If you want a relaxing walk where you can meditate a bit or simply daydream I suggest you take a walk in LB or in UP Diliman. If you do want to see people weirded out by you though, EDSA or any other main street in the city would be a great place to do it. Make sure to look up and close your eyes with arms a little outstretched for maximum effect. ^_^

Oh...and this brings me to my next topic...Who wants to join me do something ala Improv Everywhere here in the Philippines. It should be fun! Leave a comment if you don't know my email or phone number and I'll get back to you. ^_^

Upset...My Fault

I really need to get my act together. There's so much to do and so little time and I keep squandering it away on senseless sleep. I have been sleeping way too much again and considering I've been juggling 2 "freelance" jobs plus Sam it's been inevitable that I keep on dropping the ball. I hate depression. It's so crippling. It's like trying to screw your head on right and finding that the screw's threading is all loose. Or like folding a silk blouse that comes undone each time you lift it up to pack it away.

I'm feeling all gloomy for the moment but I know I can kick this. I even know how but the weird thing is I keep on forgetting how. I need energy. I need a push. I need to pluck up some courage and face this stupid monster.

I'm sick of myself for today. I'm glad I am though because this usually means I'm getting ready to clean up my act.

And no...I don't need your advice nor your sympathy. I need to process this and make it right. I'm just thinking out loud. Give me a few hours and I'll be back with a more cheerful, positive outlook.

Blogging to Do Something

Not that I lack stuff to do. In fact I have LOTS of stuff to write and blogs to spruce up (not mine but for my job). I could also do some cleaning in the house. Or playing with Sam (he's asleep though) or doing a hundred different things...even just take a shower. I haven't even had a shower! So what? I'm having a bad day and at least I'm blogging to get out of bed. Since I'm in a lazy blog mode I thought I'd just respond to Kris' tag, which is actually something I have done before (read my post on Weird Things About Me). I do know there might be a few more weird things about me though so I might as well add them on the list.

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Note feeling so much better...Sam woke up and is laughing for no reason. Got to hug him and rough him up.
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SO here's my new list. BTW to make things easier for me I'm copying some items from Kris' weird list. It's all pretty funny but if I were his wife his 9 lives wouldn't do him any good. She must be an angel or just has a really high tolerance for pain.

1. "Sometime I randomly get scenes flash in my head about harming people out of the blue." Don't feel like going into details but my violent visions sometimes disturbs me.

2. "When seated at a restaurant, I need to sit in the seat where the least amount of people could sit behind me, and I prefer to face the door too." This is no longer true for me but it was from grade school up until college (?). I blame Robert Ludlum for this one.

3. "I want to be rich then give all my money away to poor people, save for enough to leave my family well off." I think everyone is this way though except for the real scrooges. But I'm adding this anyone to get one more item on my list.

4. I have girl crushes. Remembered to put this one because of Jam's post on man crush. Currently my girl crush is Mila Jovovich. She's pregnant, fat, and still sexy. Huh? True! Look at her pic here. I loooove Resident Evil.

5. I can live without meat but not without veggies. Ok, so this isn't to weird considering all the vegetarians out there. I just found this blog (What the Hell Does a Vegan Eat Anyway) and I'm feeling inspired. Will try to add more variety to the veggie dishes I know. Hope the blogger doesn't mind that I hotlinked to the page and stole this pic. BTW it's a red pepper enchilada with tomatillo sauce. Whatever the heck that is.
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Need to pause. Sam just fell off the mattress again. LOL. He is so funny.
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6. I find it funny when my son falls off the mattress.

7. I hate waking up when I have an unresolved issue in my dream. If I do wake up I force myself to sleep again and resolve the issue - give it closure, before continuing with my day. This way I waste a lot of days. I am too attached to my dreams.

8. I tend to daydream about those i love - dying. It's been this way since I was a kid. I would daydream until I got so scared or sad that I cried. So if I think of you dead that means you must be on my "most loved list." I hate this fact nowadays because sometimes I feel guilty that maybe it is the reason why Sam got sick. Doesn't make sense huh?

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I can't really think of anything more right now. Will just update this if I do to make it ten. Leaving 2 blanks. Tell me if you know of some weird thing about me I might have missed.
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9.

10.

Silas Anecdote

After reading Kei's post on House Blues I plunged deeper in to depression. I just miss Silas so much. To help make me feel better I am blogging about this conversation with Silas back when he was still my little boy. He's still our boy but he's the Kuya now. I love that kid....

Me (showing off to the only person who would believe I can do magic): Kaya mo to?
(theatrically gagging while I "swallow" Silas' toy sword)
Silas (looking at me in awe...then concern): Ate Han, tama na.
Me (after removing the sword...touched by his concern): Bakit?
Silas: Eh kasi baka matusok si Jesus.

To those who didn't get it, in church we teach the kids that all you need to do to get to heaven is to be sorry for your sins, believe in Jesus, accept Him and He will live in your heart. The oversimplification of the matter has time and again mislead kids to believe that Jesus is physically staying in their hearts. Ayayay... It was a mistake to post this. I feel worse now.

I miss Silas.
I miss my God.
I miss me.
I wish Sam will learn to talk so he can start saying funny things...

Hay...time to drown my worries in Xenocide. Thanks Earl!