I Told You So

Here's how my day went

6:00 am - Woke up, gave sam his milk, changed Sam's diapers, back to sleep
6:30 am - Tried to wake Mark up, failed to do so
7:30 am - Tried to wake Mark up, failed to do so but apparently he woke up on his own after I fell asleep
8:00 am - Woke up, Mark telling me something, tried to shut out the noise
8:30 am - Got up, turned on the PC, discovered there was no internet connection, tidied up the bed a bit
8:45 am - loaded the washing machine, swept the floor, tidied up the messy sala/dining room a bit
9:00 am - fed Sam cereal
9:30 am - house got flooded, had to clean up the floor and dry everything that got wet, thankfully Mark's Papa was there to help me
10:00 am - bathed Sam
10:30 am - took a shower
10:45 am - hung up the clean clothes to dry
11:00 am - left for Sam's team therapy
11:15 am - walked to SM to meet Kuya Dowy, realised that the number we had in Nokia meant a looong waiting time; withdrew money
11:45 am - ate some fries at Wendy's
12:00 nn - waitedgot the missing pieces from the clothes rack we bought at SM; checked the queue...still too long
12:30 pm - picked up Sam at Little Camp; Teacher Con was late as usual..still not done
1:00 pm - got home from little Camp; scurried to get the dry clothes and hang up new ones, gave Sam his lunch (left the feeding to Kuya Dowy after initiating it), hurriedly ate my lunch
1:30 pm - left again to go back to Nokia
2:00 pm - got the phone
2:15 pm - got my residence certificate (sedula);
2:30 pm - called BIR to confirm I have no record; gave Kuya Dowy his phone; grabbed my papers
3:00 pm - arrived at BIR main office; explained I needed a TIN number and for what reason and was told I couldn't get one until I got a certificate of employment (strange since I am not employed and needed it to take the insurance licensure exam on Saturday)
3:20 pm - went to BIR verifications office; still no record
4:15 pm - arrived at Lepanto Building; was directed to the insurance main office
4:30 pm - arrived at Enterprise Building; was told that BIR had it all wrong and all I needed to do was explain that I was applying as an agent and not an employee and that I just needed it to take the exam; waits for exam permit form to show to BIR
5:00 pm - arrived at BIR in the Atrium; will not be accommodated because it was already 5pm; was told I was given the wrong form but still needed certification from the employer; getting really frustrated because the people there couldn't understand simple logic...I HAD NO EMPLOYER! I just needed it for an exam so I can be hired as an agent! The BIR person finally understood and told me I actually need to go to go BACK to Quezon City but a different office this time to ask for another (3rd form). Not sure if he's right this time. Left really frustrated and hyperventillating.
5:30 pm - arrived at Greenbelt; told myself not to call a certain person to vent; I did and what I get is an I understand but I told you so...
5:45 pm - walking to MRT fighting the tears; I couldn't breathe; I end up crying as I walk but it's ok nobody noticed everyone was in too much of a hurry
6:00 pm - had to get it off my chest
6:17 pm - finished this blog post; going home to Sam

Going Deaf

It feels like this is being done directly above our bedroom!

Considering the size our apartment there isn't anywhere to hide. This has been going on for weeks since the owner decided to add rooms on the rooftop (now the 6th floor I guess). Thank God there are two floors between our place and the actual construction site. I'll go crazy if I lived on the 5th floor. Not everyone leaves the house for work you know!!! Argh! I hope they finish up all this construction really soon!!!

Image Source: Threadless

Cold Hands...Goodbye

Warning: Toxic post. Not for the underage or those feeling sad right now. Do not continue if you don't want to see an ugly side of me.

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It is very dangerous when my hands get really cold and clammy. When my stomach starts churning and I feel like puking till there's nothing left inside. It's even worse when the cold start leaving and is replaced by dead calm. I know it isn't real calm but simply the eye of the storm. Very few people in this world has seen me in a cold rage because I don't permit it to be seen. But this is the part when it is starting. I need to tell someone to fuck off or get a drink or scream or do something stupid before the total calm arrives because then it turns me into a frigid rock. My hair will start to fall and I will smile while I rage because of the hurt.

Like I said it is rare that I hate people but when I do I get really passionate. I don't know if this is even hate. All I know is it is rage. Rage as a result of hurt. Whose fault it is doesn't matter. For the first time I want the world to know how much rage there is inside me. It is much better to let go of the rage instead of holding it in and hurting myself because I kept it in too much and now need to feel something...even if just physical pain. I refuse to hurt myself anymore. Let the world know I am mad. Let the world know I am not not nice. Let the world know the duplicity that lives in everyone lives in me. I don't not care. I do care. I do care to make sure I take care of myself this time. I am mad.

Disclaimer: To my readers do not take any of this personally. I intentionally erased a lot of portions that was originally going to be placed in this entry because I know that words are powerful and that it is harder to take back words said in the heat of the moment that actually uttering them. I will lash out at the world in general but never give specifics. I will accept words of encouragement or damnation but not reply to any questions.

I will try my best not to post stuff like this again. Drama from me is corny but acceptable. Anger is not too acceptable but let it work like a band aid till I can call the helpline on Monday. Wow. Blogging sure is therapeutic. I feel a lot better. I am no longer raging mad but feeling more disappointed. I just needed this off my chest.

My First "Encounter" with Our Neighbours (very long)

It doesn't matter if you are nice or not. Chances are you will have a run in with a"not so nice" neighbour (to put it mildly).

It all started with my me wanting to keep the apartment from looking like a row of shanties. Our apartment is really small and doesn't have any room or space allotted for hanging out clothes. We hang our clothes in the balcony just like the rest of the tenants here. It looks ugly. To say that I don't like it is an understatement because I have a deep aversion to it. Let's say that if I was the owner of this place I'd blast the management for not providing a place for people to hang their clothes. I know that the value of my building is linked to the way it looks and having clothes strewn all over people's balconies doesn't raise it's value one bit. But I don't own the building and since they don't really do anything about it I still hang our laundry in the only place where it can dry out fast. Of course I give instructions to Gemalyn, who does our laundry, to do it just once a week and to remove the clothes as soon as they dry up to make sure the place stays as nice as often as possible.

picture taken from this blog

That was just the intro. Now, in the yet to be finished roof deck I saw some clothesline hanging in disarray. I of course assumed that it belonged to the only family living in that floor. So this noon I politely knocked on their door and asked if I can take advantage of their clothesline so that I won't need to hang too many clothes in the balcony and get all our laundry to dry up faster. The man who answered the door was very accommodating and said yes. So I promptly instructed Gemalyn to hang as much clothes as she can upstairs but to take them off before it gets dark. When she came back this afternoon after going up to fetch our clothes she was a bit upset because some of our clothes were on the floor (she used clothespins so it couldn't have been the wind), the others were bunched up together, and the tenant on that floor told her that the "owner of the makeshift clothesline" got mad. Of course I was a bit pissed since I asked for permission and they didn't even tell me it wasn't theirs. I was also pretty pissed at what the snotty owner did to our clothes.

So I marched upstairs to clarify the situation and apologize to the owner of the clothesline for not asking permission and point out at the same time that she could have told me off instead of just messing with our clothes. When I arrived I talked to the tenant and she told me that the owner of the clothesline was actually the sister-in-law of our landlord (who is in USA). Now I know they are relatives but bully them if they think they can scare me off just because they almost own the place. In the first place I know that the owner is a really nice guy, his sister is nice too, and it's just the brother and his wife who is as their neighbours have told me not nice at all. In tagalog people have told me na "panget ang ugali". So I asked the tenant in the top floor to show me where they lived (And they are living here in their brothers apartment! Hah. Snotty people living off their relatives hand.). I presented myself at their door and diplomatic or plastic as I am I promptly apologized for not asking permission from her directly. I clarified the situation and she complained that the only reason she got mad was that whoever put the clothes there shoved her (already dry) curtains together and piled them up in one part of the clothesline. Gemalyn later told me that she found it that way already but I didn't know then so I apologized and told her that I'll be giving clearer instructions next time. I then said that I went to her to make sure that she doesn't get mad at the tenant upstairs because it appears that it was the driver who gave me permission and not to get mad at Gemalyn because she only put the clothes there on my behalf. I then told her our unit number so that she can talk to me directly next time she has an issue. She told me that it was actually against the rules to put a clothesline there but I can use theirs next time. I think she expects me not to use it again though I will. And next time I told her I will knock at her door first, make sure that she isn't doing the laundry that day, and be prompt in removing our clothes. The things that piss me off about this are...

1. Just because they are relatives of the owner they act like they can do something that isn't allowed. So I will be using their clothesline WITH their permission and if I get reprimanded they will also need to be reprimanded because it is theirs.
2. What the hell was she thinking putting our clothes on the floor? Even if I found someone bunching up our clothes together I don't get juvenile and dirty up someone else's clothes. I act like an adult and confront the people to clarify things. Doing otherwise is an act of stupidity.

3. They say that they don't like people to hang clothes upstairs to prevent a messy looking place but allow people to hang clothes in balconies. Now that is plain stupid because the upstairs portion isn't visible to passersby but the balconies are.

4. She acted a bit haughty trying to drop names. She wanted to impress me with the fact that the owner was her brother-in-law and that her husband is supposed to run the place. Well the fact is if they really ran the place they should be running it better instead of twisting their brother's words to fit their needs. And I'd rather talk to the sister who I know for a fact now runs this place because the brother didn't run it that well before. The brother who lives here is just in charge of the construction, not the management. If they were as high and mighty as she'd like to appear they would be having a large place of their own instead of renting a place at their brothers apartment. They didn't even get a unit with a balcony looks like they couldn't even afford a few extra pesos on a better floor and unit. Hmph (that's my inner devil sour graping)!

So now I know who to tiptoe around. But the thing is they won't get rid of me because when the real owner comes I have real suggestions about the place. Don't think I'm not serious. If you know me though you won't be afraid that I'll be really bad. I am almost always diplomatic. I can sugar coat the truth to get my way. In the meantime they can expect me to keep on hanging our clothes on their clothesline. As the photo says "It's time to hang together." Whether that means we share the same clothesline or clothesline in the roof deck be totally banned, I don't know. But whatever benefits they enjoy we will enjoy too unless they can come up with a really good reason for me not to do so.

There must be something wrong...

...with this world. There must be.

Why else would parents willingly go back to a place where they see their children crying and crying and crying. Sit down. Flip some magazines. Smile while their child screams. Smile even harder when the other child does too. Turn around to the other parent. Smile at each other. Laugh when the children do something funny. Yes. Funny. Funny like exhibiting some anti-social behavior, or get a bit pinned down by the other child as they sit back to back while they learn how to master the art of sitting, or while the two little tots sit and nod their heads wide-eyed at the bigger girl who's been put on restraints because she just wouldn't follow.

There must be something wrong with this world when parents, strangers just a few minutes ago, sit down beside each other and swap the names of the children's neurologists, geneticists, developmental pediatricians, ophthalmologists and all those other doctors as a way of getting acquainted.

There must be something wrong when a stranger asks you politely whether your son has seizures too and whether his medication causes him to get stoned as well. And when you politely say he might she just answers its alright you'll get used to it. There must be something wrong when you start getting used to all the deformities, abnormalities, disorders, sicknesses and ugliness you see around you. In the back of my head all I can think is that I'm tired of "getting used" to things...because some days it hits me and I realize you can never really get used to these things.

I couldn't believe that there is JUST something wrong with our children. There must be something wrong with this world. Tell me what's wrong with this world?

Not so Quickie

Smart Bro Fiasco

I have internet again! Will need to test it though so I want to post before something goes wrong again. I should be posting something for work as a quickie but my blog's a bit more important right now. ;-)

Right after I posted my last entry I gave Sam his milk and when I returned after 30 mins no more internet. So I actually ended up working a bit on Feb 14 though I didn't work when Mark got home. Besides the internet has still been utterly horrible the entire week. Ugh!

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Valentine's Night

On a lighter note Mark and I decided to spend the night at home watching a movie and eating pizza. Although I waited so long for the take-out pizza from Pizza Hut LB to arrive (there were just too many customers) it was worth it because they made a mistake with my free pizza (love my Palm Card). Instead of giving me a Veggie Lovers with cheesy volcano they gave me a Super Supreme with cheesy volcano for free instead. I also got to chat with this girl who as never ordered from Pizza Hut and she copied my order except that she threw in some pasta combo. I now remember how I love chatting up strangers and making acquaintance. It feels nice to be pleasant and human. Little town mentality can be fun.

Thanks to Cherry, I finally watched Memoirs of a Geisha from beginning to end. Mark fell asleep though, which he always does when we watch movies at night. Even if he did am pretty happy because he actually brought up the topic of semi-planning about the Valentine's Day before I did. He also left his office as early as he really could. Maybe by the time we're sixty Mark will learn to be the most romantic and thoughtful guy in the world. I can wait though...It should be fun seeing how much we've changed yet stayed the same by the time we're sixty years old. I still do shudder at the thought of growing old though...

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Family Day Out

Our little family went out to LB today. Mark tutored a sister of his old friend because she isn't doing well in her Physics 3. Sam and I for the most part didn't do anything but wait outside St Therese dorm. I was so sleppy but Sam enjoyed being pushed around in his stroller since it was pretty breezy. After the tutorials we headed on to MetroHair where we met up with Nikki and Kei. Kei got her hair treated, Mark got his hair trimmed, and so did Sam. Kei took some pictures with her phone so I'll be posting some pics after I ask her for some copies. We ate at Bonito's and had a pretty good time eating and just chatting. There's nothing like a queit time with old friends to relax you. Anyway I looooved my spicy chicken wings. Next time you go to LB try the spicy chicken wings at Bonito's.

Today was a very tiring day for me (try lugging Sam around and you'll understand why) but it was a day well spent. I enjoyed going out and doing nothing much for a change. Sam seemed to have enjoyed the day too. Even on the way home at around 10pm he was still squirming in the tricycle very excited. We should go out on weekends more often.