Therapy Photos and Mommy Talk

Thanks to Ninang Cherry's phone we finally have recent photos of Sam. There are really cool videos but I don't feel like uploading them tonight. Anyway here's Sam with his teacher and one of him with his anti-social classmate. You can see how strong he's getting and even though staying upright in all fours might not be a big deal for many 2 yr old kids we're so proud of his progress with his arm and leg strength. Hopefully he'll be able to walk before he turns four. I would be ecstatic if he does it by the time he turns three but realistically my goal is to see him stand with minimal assistance by then. Sam is actually standing on the pic where he's holding up a toy ring. He has a horrible time being held up but at least he actually bears some weight on his soles now. What a fighter my boy is. I'm so proud of him. By the way I intentionally chose the blurred picture of his classmate because I have no permission to post his pic. It's actually funny because Sam has been able to "bully" two of his classmates since last week. I guess I shouldn't worry much about him being bullied when he grows up. He was able to make a much bigger boy cry by sticking his stubby fingers into the boy's nose although to be fair the kid has cerebral palsy so him and Sam sitting together made for two floppy boys. (Note: It isn't funny making other kids cry especially when they feel helpless. I can't explain it but it was ok that time.) He was able to make the little boy in the photo below cry simply by sitting beside the kid since that cute little boy (he's one of my favorite classmate of Sam's) is scared of small kids. Believe it or not even at his age Sam is already helping other kids by cooperating with his teacher in trying to draw out the less sociable kids at therapy. It's great to see him grow.

Sam doing the quadruped.
Sam only needs minimal support in this position.

Sam playing with toy rings while Teacher Con
corrects his standing position. Look no tears!

Sam's classmate (who is already able to walk) making his getaway.

Earthquake

Who felt the earthquake that happened just a couple of minutes ago?

Going Deaf

It feels like this is being done directly above our bedroom!

Considering the size our apartment there isn't anywhere to hide. This has been going on for weeks since the owner decided to add rooms on the rooftop (now the 6th floor I guess). Thank God there are two floors between our place and the actual construction site. I'll go crazy if I lived on the 5th floor. Not everyone leaves the house for work you know!!! Argh! I hope they finish up all this construction really soon!!!

Image Source: Threadless

Help Has Arrived

These past couple of weeks have been really good for me. I never realized that things could turn around so fast for me. I know that in reality things have already been in the upswing for sometime but something in me was unable to fully appreciate the blessings in my life. It's so hard to explain and impossible for those who haven't gone through what I have to really grasp what I am saying but still I just want to share the fact that life really does not have to look impossibly bleak. There's always battles to be fought but it doesn't have to all be an uphill climb.

I guess all I really want to say (without going into details) is - GET HELP. It really does make a difference.

For me help has arrived and after two weeks of being a spoiled and pampered momma it's time to help myself again.

Thanks Mark. I will be strong again...someday. :p

It's a boy!

We are happy to announce the most recent addition to our family...Chub-Chub.

Chub-Chub is a dwarf hamster (Phodopus roborovskii). I have no cam (We really need one!!!) so i'm just going to post a pic of another roborovski that looks a lot like him.

Mark and I bought him Tuesday night as a gift to Sam. We were prepared to for Sam to snub Chub-Chub but was pleasantly (understatement) surprised when Sam got really excited. Unfortunately we really can't leave Sam alone near the cage because he keeps on hitting the cage really hard, which scares Chub-Chub. We can't let Chub-Chub out either until I find a hamster ball somewhere because he runs soooo fast and is really hard to catch. I'll be giving Chub-Chub until tomorrow to adjust to his new cage and will start taming him the next day. I am so happy about this. It feels like Sam has a little wiggly brother. Chub-Chub seems sad though so I'm asking Mark to go back to the pet shop tomorrow to buy Chub-Chub's brother. Yay!

I'm so happy we found the perfect pet for our family. ^_^

Walking in the Rain

I have always liked rainy days. It might simply be that in this country the rain provides respite from the heat but it might also be because the rain makes me feel a bit more at peace.

When we were kids my sister and I used to go out and play in the rain enjoying the moment despite the fact that we ended up shivering and almost unable to move much sometimes (at least I remember me shivering and feeling that way). Each time the sun started to peek out I felt both disappointment and relief since I knew I could go in and take a long hot shower...another thing I really loved.

The other day, when I wrote the post about being upset, I decided to take a long walk in the rain. I needed some exercise to get a healthy dose of endorphins and to get me started in my quest to get in shape. Donning on my new rubber shoes (which we got at half the price at Ali Mall ^_^...Don't you love introductory prices?) and this dry-fit shirt I bought a year ago (also on sale then...hehe) but was then too tight for me (yes I fit in it now! Yay!), I said bye to Sam and his yaya, who was scurrying to give me an umbrella. I pretended not to hear Gemalyn and went on my not-so-merry way.

Walking in the rain in this city proved to be a very interesting thing to do. Some of the reasons (I'm sure I'm bound to forget some of the interesting stuff I noticed then) why it was really interesting for me was....

1. People kept looking at me strangely - This guy, who was selling old umbrellas that were obviously stolen or at least scavenged , approached me but suddenly veered away when he realized that I was enjoying the rain. It seemed that some people were scared. I loved it.
2. People offered me an umbrella and jeepney drivers shouted at me to get off the rain and ride instead - This wouldn't have been so strange if they did this to everyone without umbrellas. The thing is, there were plenty of people with heads down scurrying to get out of the rain and nobody seemed to really notice them. I, on the other hand, who obviously was enjoying the rain, kept on being "helped" by people. It was nice but it would have been nicer if people noticed those who were actually in need and not just those who were doing something that was not the norm.
3. I broke a sweat from walking but didn't feel sticky - Really stupid for this to be interesting because the rain obviously washed away the sweat. It is still interesting for me though because I now know of another way to exercise (aside from swimming) and not be bothered about the heat and the sweat. I do not really like exercising and the sticky feeling (especially on a humid day) is one of the many factors why I feel that way.
4. I wasn't bothered by the air pollution - I started walking after it had already been raining for hours. It was great breathing in (though I still didn't take deep breaths) the air in EDSA and not feel all choked up with the smog.
5. There were less vagrants in EDSA - The rain really does keep people indoors. Even the beggars didn't like to get wet much and no one bothered me while it was raining hard. On my way back from Quezon Ave (yes I walked all the way there from out house) the rain had abated and the little kids were already out pestering me for coins and the doughnuts I bought for Gemalyn.

If you've never walked in the rain, you really must try it. Make sure you take a hot shower after though or you're guaranteed to get the sniffles. If you want a relaxing walk where you can meditate a bit or simply daydream I suggest you take a walk in LB or in UP Diliman. If you do want to see people weirded out by you though, EDSA or any other main street in the city would be a great place to do it. Make sure to look up and close your eyes with arms a little outstretched for maximum effect. ^_^

Oh...and this brings me to my next topic...Who wants to join me do something ala Improv Everywhere here in the Philippines. It should be fun! Leave a comment if you don't know my email or phone number and I'll get back to you. ^_^

Upset...My Fault

I really need to get my act together. There's so much to do and so little time and I keep squandering it away on senseless sleep. I have been sleeping way too much again and considering I've been juggling 2 "freelance" jobs plus Sam it's been inevitable that I keep on dropping the ball. I hate depression. It's so crippling. It's like trying to screw your head on right and finding that the screw's threading is all loose. Or like folding a silk blouse that comes undone each time you lift it up to pack it away.

I'm feeling all gloomy for the moment but I know I can kick this. I even know how but the weird thing is I keep on forgetting how. I need energy. I need a push. I need to pluck up some courage and face this stupid monster.

I'm sick of myself for today. I'm glad I am though because this usually means I'm getting ready to clean up my act.

And no...I don't need your advice nor your sympathy. I need to process this and make it right. I'm just thinking out loud. Give me a few hours and I'll be back with a more cheerful, positive outlook.

Just in Time for Blog Action Day: 11th Hour

Mistakes can lead to unexpected yet delightful results. The other night Mark and I decided to go on a date and watch a movie despite the already strained budget. We originally planned on seeing Stardust (the book was fun) but decided to go with The 11th Hour after seeing Leonardo di Caprio's name on the bond paper where the synopsis of the movie was written. After seeing Blood Diamond and knowing Leo's latest choice of roles we were prepared for a good movie. We never even realized that he was the producer nor did we realize that the film was a documentary (I was too busy thinking of putting on the new socks I bought since the socks I was wearing got wet right before we left home and I only had one pair!). Imagine our surprise and disappointment when we realized that we were in for a documentary. Definitely not date material! Turns out it was the most well spent P130 (each) of this year so far.

"The 11th Hour" is a feature length documentary concerning the environmental crises caused by human actions and their impact on the planet. "The 11th Hour" documents the cumulative impact of these actions upon the planet's life systems and calls for restorative action through a reshaping of human activity.

The film, though most apt for Americans, is just as relevant to us Filipinos and anyone else, anywhere else in the world. It starts out by making you realize how deep in shit the world is and then proceeds to explain why this happened. The great thing about the film though is that it gives VIABLE solutions to the problems. It makes you see hope. It makes you (or at least me) feel idealistic again.

I remember as a little girl how we were taught to value the environment. Apparently I really did take those lessons to heart because as I was growing up my family used to tease me a bit about being an environmentalist. Far from it offending me I wore that tag like a badge and though mostly quiet about it, I still proudly think of myself as one. Lately though I've been more quiet about it not insisting that other people "see the light". I still take care not to use too much tissue paper (I used to take pains to use as little as possible but lately I haven't been so obsessive about it). I still sometimes ask those in sari sari stores and the market to just put everything in one plastic bag or to just hand whatever it was I purchased over without putting them into plastic bags to reduce wastage. I still insist on turning off appliances and the faucet to save electricity and water (and money of course!). And I still feel guilty about all those trees being cut off when I waste paper. That being said, I still act like the frugal weird girl my kin sometimes saw me as, except that it isn't that noticeable anymore and I refrain from telling people to help save the environment unless I am with a little child (I love educating kids...they listen.).

Anyway my "non-activism" does shame me now. I see my mistake. I see how all this is but one of the symptoms of an inner ailment of my soul, of how I have slowly been losing the things I believed in as a child. I am glad that I saw 11th Hour because it was an affirmation of all things that are good that I believed in. The film might be seen by most as an environmental film (which in itself is more than noble enough) but to me it is a reminder to go back to the simple truths in life. The simple truths which include all those corny things like cleanliness, discipline, fairness, justice, faith, hope, love and...world peace.

It is true that each one of us is but a pixel in this impossibly huge picture. Nevertheless I am proud to say that I am determined to make sure that I wouldn't be a dead pixel. I will contribute. It alone will not be enough to save our planet but it might be enough to help make sure that there would be other pixels out there who will decide to not die or even better, come to life again. Hey this is one of the monsters I was talking about. Hollering out to everybody to come join the fight to save our planet and save ourselves in the process!!!

Useful stuff:
Blog Action Day - Blog to Save the Environment (it's already the 16th in the Philippines but it's still the 15th in the US...and even if you're late please do blog about the environment still)
Fight Global Warming - Lot's of information here. Please at least read the "What You Can Do" section.
11th Hour Action - Take action. This isn't just a USA thing. This is an US thing. We all need to take action.

Monsters Be Dead

These days I have been alternating between trying to ignore the facts of life and stopping too much to re-evaluate the things going on around me. Today I have decided that at the risk of over analyzing things, I'd rather take a step back to re-evaluate my life. There's too much at stake now to just let life happen. I need to take an active role in making sure that my life is headed towards something that really does matter.

Though taking one blow after another is often mistaken as resilience I have come to realize that many times it also is a form of cowardice. Instead of stopping to face the real monster behind all the troubles that keeps bopping us on the head like snowballs we hunch our shoulders and steadfastly plod on trying to get to our goals. Now I have no problem about being steadfast and resilient. It is a good trait. But when was the last time you took a look around, faced the monster, and went for it? If I were to be honest I would say I couldn't even remember when I did that. Oh I do take a look around, pin point several monsters and squish the little irritating ones when they are within my reach. But when I see big ones I do what many people do - I shrug and say something to the effect that this is life..blah blah blah. I just have to make do with what I have...blah blah blah. It is just more convenient and less scary to face the real monsters. After all what if the monster ends up being stronger than we are? What good will it do facing something that seems unbeatable?

Here's what you'll find when you do face monsters:

1. You will find that most monster are smaller and easier to squish once you actually go out of your way to fight them. Problem(s) solved.
2. You will find that the hard road called life will be a little easier to travel with monsters out of the way.
3. You will find that though there are really big monsters that will leave you bruised and bloodied in the end you will still heal and know that you are stronger in the end.
4. By removing the big monster you will have done not only yourself, but also those whose lives are touched by that monster, a big favor.
5. You will find that when you meet a monster you cannot possibly win a fight against, if you just continue the fight and raise your voice for help, there will be people to help you win the battle.
6. You will find that what you thought was time wasted on stopping to fight your monsters is actually much much less than the time you will have spent crying in the end because of all the headaches too much snowballs have lent you. It might even save your life!
7. You will find that fighting those battles is part of what life is all about.

So this is what it comes to. I have been taking a good hard look at my life. I am not yet done taking a good hard look at it. It is a difficult thing to do. Facing the truth. It's so hard it brings out all the monsters from wherever they are hiding. This time I know I can't fight them all at the same time. And this time I have been raising my voice for help while squishing the smaller ones as I go deeper into monster land. Hopefully, when I come out I'll be bloodied but the path will be clearer for me and for those who walk life with me...my husband and my son. I cannot tackle their personal monsters but at least I can tackle mine and prevent those from affecting their lives.

How about you? Will you try to be brave enough the monsters in your life? If you can't call me. Email me. I'm willing to be scared with you until you feel brave enough to take a small peek and squish the smallest one you can.

To all those who have helped me fight, are helping me fight, or just was plained scared with me each time I needed to face a monster. Thank you. There are still lots of monsters on their way I feel a little safer because I know I can depend on you. You know who you are.

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I was thinking of placing a kick ass monster image here but I need to ask permission from Ruben de Vela. To the few who doesn't know Ruben he is a friend and one of the greatest artists out there. Do visit his page! I will be emailing him to ask for permission to post some of his works here. In the meantime make do with the monsters I found at Wikimedia Commons. ^_^

Image details:
Title: Loch Ness Monster (oilpainting)
Artist: Hugo Josef Heikenwaelder, Austria

Wish List

It's almost Christmas and I have my wish list up on my sidebar. ;-)

Ok so the truth is that i didn't put it up for Christmas but am experimenting with this Amazon Affiliates thing. Knowing my audience though I probably wouldn't earn even a cent (just like in Adsense). Still keeping it up because I am learning lots of things and it'll be useful for when I finally set up my pet projects. I do hope I earn from my own blogs/websites eventually. So don't be surprised if different ads and what nots keep on popping up and disappearing in this blog for the next few weeks. BTW I really do need a nicer header. Who feels like making me one? I have no talent whatsoever when it comes to anything artistic.

In the meantime though my wish list will serve to help remind my hubby about the gifts that I do want to receive. ^_^

Movie Time

I've been watching and watching and watching movies lately. Most of the movies are pretty good with the exception of Ghost Rider. I was really disappointed with it since I'm a Nick Cage fan.

Anyway here's a quick rundown of the more noteworthy ones (listed in no particular order).

Knocked Up - I really really enjoyed this movie. The funny thing is that I enjoyed it not for the comedy (although it was really funny too) but for the truths behind the comedy. Coincidentally I've been reading "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", which gave me a different perspective as to how I saw the men on the movie. If I hadn't read parts of the book before seeing the movie I would have flat out decided that the guys were jerks, But now, I do understand their side a bit. Just a bit. I loved it so much I would even go as far as saying that's it's genius. It does bring up some "once-intense-but-now-funny" memories of when I first found out I was pregnant with Sam! Hilarious. A must-see for all couples...especially those who got wed out of wedlock (and have gotten over it).

Oh, and it also made me miss my thesis days with the guys. We didn't do any drugs but the mess and the "bumness" and the love. The eeky couch, the days spent talking about nothing, running around after the rats, staring at my monitor not knowing what to do and having Ed, Nik, and Mark do them for me, having Cel look over my shoulder to tell me I'm doing great (even when I feel like I'm getting knowing), playing NFS on Brian's PC, and watching Brian harass the guys! Just has to make you smile. I feel fortunate to have experienced that kind of camaraderie even if it did have to end.

Resident Evil: Extinction - I just love Resident Evil. I used to shy away from thrillers/horror movies because I just got so scared and wasted my time since I almost always kept my eyes closed throughout the movie. But after seeing the first Resident Evil (and I've never played the game) I just got hooked. Must be the action side that got me. Of course it certainly helps that I totally love Mila Jovovich. Girly mode: My favourite outfit by far is the one on this movie. I couldn't find a photo of her on the motorbike with goggles on so this will have to do. So cool. Some people might not have watched it yet so I should move on before I write some spoilers here.

Babel - The awards it won speaks for the movie. I don't really know what to say about it but that you should just watch it. Oh, and the fact that the movie overshadowed Brad Pitt for me says a lot! It really is sad though. To those who don't know the real story behind the Tower of Babel (and believe me or not there are those who don't) please read your Bible first so that you can put the whole movie into context. It would be a shame to not be able to appreciate the story because you haven't read Genesis 11 yet.

Still got plenty of movies to go but I think 3 is enough for today. Will be posting more movies by next week!

Blogging to Do Something

Not that I lack stuff to do. In fact I have LOTS of stuff to write and blogs to spruce up (not mine but for my job). I could also do some cleaning in the house. Or playing with Sam (he's asleep though) or doing a hundred different things...even just take a shower. I haven't even had a shower! So what? I'm having a bad day and at least I'm blogging to get out of bed. Since I'm in a lazy blog mode I thought I'd just respond to Kris' tag, which is actually something I have done before (read my post on Weird Things About Me). I do know there might be a few more weird things about me though so I might as well add them on the list.

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Note feeling so much better...Sam woke up and is laughing for no reason. Got to hug him and rough him up.
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SO here's my new list. BTW to make things easier for me I'm copying some items from Kris' weird list. It's all pretty funny but if I were his wife his 9 lives wouldn't do him any good. She must be an angel or just has a really high tolerance for pain.

1. "Sometime I randomly get scenes flash in my head about harming people out of the blue." Don't feel like going into details but my violent visions sometimes disturbs me.

2. "When seated at a restaurant, I need to sit in the seat where the least amount of people could sit behind me, and I prefer to face the door too." This is no longer true for me but it was from grade school up until college (?). I blame Robert Ludlum for this one.

3. "I want to be rich then give all my money away to poor people, save for enough to leave my family well off." I think everyone is this way though except for the real scrooges. But I'm adding this anyone to get one more item on my list.

4. I have girl crushes. Remembered to put this one because of Jam's post on man crush. Currently my girl crush is Mila Jovovich. She's pregnant, fat, and still sexy. Huh? True! Look at her pic here. I loooove Resident Evil.

5. I can live without meat but not without veggies. Ok, so this isn't to weird considering all the vegetarians out there. I just found this blog (What the Hell Does a Vegan Eat Anyway) and I'm feeling inspired. Will try to add more variety to the veggie dishes I know. Hope the blogger doesn't mind that I hotlinked to the page and stole this pic. BTW it's a red pepper enchilada with tomatillo sauce. Whatever the heck that is.
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Need to pause. Sam just fell off the mattress again. LOL. He is so funny.
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6. I find it funny when my son falls off the mattress.

7. I hate waking up when I have an unresolved issue in my dream. If I do wake up I force myself to sleep again and resolve the issue - give it closure, before continuing with my day. This way I waste a lot of days. I am too attached to my dreams.

8. I tend to daydream about those i love - dying. It's been this way since I was a kid. I would daydream until I got so scared or sad that I cried. So if I think of you dead that means you must be on my "most loved list." I hate this fact nowadays because sometimes I feel guilty that maybe it is the reason why Sam got sick. Doesn't make sense huh?

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I can't really think of anything more right now. Will just update this if I do to make it ten. Leaving 2 blanks. Tell me if you know of some weird thing about me I might have missed.
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9.

10.

Cyber Party and a Trip Down Memory Lane

I was just looking for a good mom site and found the Cyber Shower Party at 5MinutesforMoms. Of course it interested me. Who has ever heard of a cyber shower party? (And no dear high school guy friends it's not the kind of shower you're thinking of, it's a baby shower.) So anyway I decided to join in the fun. Problem is I don't really have anything to post on my blog. I know I won't win with this photo (they're looking for the most brutal after birth photo...just head to the site to get an idea ok?) but scanning my old posts I found this cure pic of Sam. This was taken by Armi on Sam's 1st or 2nd day in this world.


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Looking back. I realize how easier it was in the beginning to have faith that he will get well and be alright. As time goes by though it (PWS) gets more depressing. The medical problems just keep adding up. If it weren't for the other blessings in my life and if Sam weren't so darned cute and well-behaved (...and lovable and sometimes even funny and I could go on an on...) I would be jumping off our balcony right now. Thank God for the good things in life. Thank God for the little strength he makes sure we always have left. Thank God that despite everything Sam will always be a miracle to me. He's still alive, isn't he? He still makes me laugh everyday, doesn't he? He might not grow up to be smart nor an athlete but he will still be the pride of my life.

BookishBimbo Transformation

Woohoo! Finally got around to sprucing up my own blog! Just a little more tweaking and I'm set to write more regularly as well as really start on my pet project. I do feel good right now. What do you think of the new look?

Things left to be done:

1. Add blogroll - Need to learn how to put an expandable one.
2. Update my Google Reader so that the blog's worth sharing will have new stuff in it.
3. Figure out why Technorati's acting wonky and won't post correctly.
4. Change my subheading to a more positive one.
5. Fix labels - categorize and label ALL old posts (shudder!)

Silas Anecdote

After reading Kei's post on House Blues I plunged deeper in to depression. I just miss Silas so much. To help make me feel better I am blogging about this conversation with Silas back when he was still my little boy. He's still our boy but he's the Kuya now. I love that kid....

Me (showing off to the only person who would believe I can do magic): Kaya mo to?
(theatrically gagging while I "swallow" Silas' toy sword)
Silas (looking at me in awe...then concern): Ate Han, tama na.
Me (after removing the sword...touched by his concern): Bakit?
Silas: Eh kasi baka matusok si Jesus.

To those who didn't get it, in church we teach the kids that all you need to do to get to heaven is to be sorry for your sins, believe in Jesus, accept Him and He will live in your heart. The oversimplification of the matter has time and again mislead kids to believe that Jesus is physically staying in their hearts. Ayayay... It was a mistake to post this. I feel worse now.

I miss Silas.
I miss my God.
I miss me.
I wish Sam will learn to talk so he can start saying funny things...

Hay...time to drown my worries in Xenocide. Thanks Earl!

Robert Jordan is Gone

I know most people's first reaction will be, "Holy shit did he finish the last book?". It's natural. But after reading the announcement of his death and the comments there I realized that he is more than a writer. He has family that will mourn him for more than his genius. Oh Gosh. Now this really makes me cry.

Digg down the a**holes who can't see beyond the book. We will wait for the last book but for now one of the commenters said it right when he asked people to just let his family grieve for now. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Since I am pretty sure this post doesn't do justice to the this sad event I'll just plagiarize Brussells' comment:

Though we miss him as fans, we cannot miss him as only his family can. Though our loss is real, it pales in comparison to yours. You have my deepest condolences. And though he will be sorely missed by thousands upon thousands of fans, he will be remembered at least as often, as we all glance up at our bookshelves... May God’s grace comfort you in this difficult time.

And Jaeden's comment as well.

The Wheel turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend.

Blessed be James Rigley, and Reagan O’Neal, and Robert Jordan, author and storyteller, a man whose memory shall live in legend until the breaking of the world.

Story that Made Me Smile

Read the news story about Donna Gunnison a 52 year old actress with Prader-Willi Syndrome.

News like this gives me hope and makes me smile. If my Sam would turn out to be a stage actor he'd be fulfilling one of my childhood dreams for myself. It doesn't really matter though what he ends up doing when he grows up. I am sure Mark and I will be proud of him anyway. Days like this make me excited about what the future has in store for us.

The One Who Gave Me Life...

...is celebrating her birthday today! Yes. Our birthday is just a day apart. My sister and I will be going home this weekend to have a grand clan birthday celebration since there'll be six birthday celebrant this August in our [maternal] clan.

To help my mom celebrate her birthday I'm going to make her a blog this weekend and teach my dad how to blog for her. She still has trouble with her eye (that was operated on and got infected) so she needs my dad to help her out. She told me that she wants to learn to blog so a blogger she will be! That is so cool. Expect to see a link to my mom's blog next week. It'll be pink since it is her favorite color (teehee) and be full of wise words and verses. I hope she ends up being active in the cyberworld.

Happy birthday Ma! And though Ate and I are really stupid for being unable to say it to your face we love you so much and are thankful to have a mom as rigidly God-fearing as you are. We're sorry for all the heart break we keep on causing you. Now if only I can get the guts to actually let her know someday not just through a card....

Personalization

I just noticed that the header in Neopets looked like this.

To make sure that it wasn't Neopet's birthday but them greeting me a happy birthday in the cutest and least annoying way possible I logged out just to be sure. As I expected the header reverted back to the usual unadorned yellow color. Though it may be a small thing, as I've said I love commercial greetings. It is the small things like this that adds pleasant surprises to one's day and [in this case literally] adds more color to my life. I don't know about you but I think personalization rocks!

Off course I took a screenshot of this since it'll be gone in a few hours. I'm thinking of compiling a repository of Neopets' birthday skins over the years! Wish I had logged on every year during my birthday before so I'll know how long they've been doing this. Oh well maybe I'll shoot them an email just to satisfy my curiosity.

Birthday Quotes for Me

If you want to be happy, be.
Henry David Thorreau

There are days of oldness, and then one gets young again.
Katherine Butler Hathaway

It takes a long time to grow young.
Pablo Picasso

Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be...
Robert Browning


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I am finding out that celebrating your own birthday in the plainest possible way can be far more rewarding than a whole slew of parties with people, cakes, noise and no time to reflect.

Another Year, Another Try

It's my birthday and I have a theme song! How corny can one get? I've got plenty to say to explain the song but I can't seem to be able to get it down right. So nevermind. All I can say is that this year will be a year for me to actively pursue my dreams and try to get back the parts of me that really do matter.

****Way Back Into Love****
from Music and Lyrics OST

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere
I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not just somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end

***********************************************

Thanks to everyone who texted me a Happy Birthday. Sorry for not texting back. I have no load. ^_^

Changing Names and Hearbreaking News for Geeks

I found out from Twitter that Sara Morishige just got married to Twitter's c0-founder and chairman, Evan "evhead" Williams. Poor hubby. I don't think he'll be that blue about the whole thing though because he's been into Niniane lately.

What I'm wondering about though is if Sara will find it easy to transition to Sara Williams or if she'll do the hyphen thing like I sometimes do. I do the hyphen thing not because I don't want to use my hubby's name but I feel a little disloyal to my clan whenever I drop the Tasarra from my name. It's bad enough that the Balagtas, my mom's maiden name, has to be dropped. On a more practical note, I also use the hyphen because it makes it easier for past acquaintances to recognize my name on emails. If I use my new name some might go...Hannah who?...and then mark me as spam. If I were Sara I'd use the hyphen (Sara Morishige-Williams) just because it looks and sounds a lot cooler than plain Williams, which makes her sound like a tennis player (which isn't really bad either if you think about it). Anyway though they'll never read this. Congrats to Ev and Sara.

Sara Morishige in Vegas last year. Photo from Sara's Flickr.

Sara and Evhead in St Peter's Square. Photo from Evhead's Flickr.

Posting entries like this makes me realize how much I have turned into Mark's wife! How in the world would I know about these people otherwise?
*******
Update: Here's the link to Mark's short post on Sara and Evhead. I couldn't believe that was about 3 years ago!

Early Birthday

Got my first birthday card a few days early. I know it's from Samsung and I got it because of our aircon's warranty but it still cheers me up. It cheers me up enough to link to their website! I guess this means that their oh so obvious marketing technique works. Though some people might not like getting emails like these I actually love getting cards from brands I really do patronize. Last year my birthday card was from my bank (it wasn't an e-card but a real one) and I kept it like it was from a friend. LOL. I think I've lost it though sometime during our multiple moves. I wonder if they'll be sending me one this year. So silly but I think I'll start collecting commercial cards or whatever you call them. I'm serious about this. Hmmm. I wish though that they sent me that phone instead of the e-card. ^_^ Oh well. Happy advance birthday to me!

Cold Hands...Goodbye

Warning: Toxic post. Not for the underage or those feeling sad right now. Do not continue if you don't want to see an ugly side of me.

.

It is very dangerous when my hands get really cold and clammy. When my stomach starts churning and I feel like puking till there's nothing left inside. It's even worse when the cold start leaving and is replaced by dead calm. I know it isn't real calm but simply the eye of the storm. Very few people in this world has seen me in a cold rage because I don't permit it to be seen. But this is the part when it is starting. I need to tell someone to fuck off or get a drink or scream or do something stupid before the total calm arrives because then it turns me into a frigid rock. My hair will start to fall and I will smile while I rage because of the hurt.

Like I said it is rare that I hate people but when I do I get really passionate. I don't know if this is even hate. All I know is it is rage. Rage as a result of hurt. Whose fault it is doesn't matter. For the first time I want the world to know how much rage there is inside me. It is much better to let go of the rage instead of holding it in and hurting myself because I kept it in too much and now need to feel something...even if just physical pain. I refuse to hurt myself anymore. Let the world know I am mad. Let the world know I am not not nice. Let the world know the duplicity that lives in everyone lives in me. I don't not care. I do care. I do care to make sure I take care of myself this time. I am mad.

Disclaimer: To my readers do not take any of this personally. I intentionally erased a lot of portions that was originally going to be placed in this entry because I know that words are powerful and that it is harder to take back words said in the heat of the moment that actually uttering them. I will lash out at the world in general but never give specifics. I will accept words of encouragement or damnation but not reply to any questions.

I will try my best not to post stuff like this again. Drama from me is corny but acceptable. Anger is not too acceptable but let it work like a band aid till I can call the helpline on Monday. Wow. Blogging sure is therapeutic. I feel a lot better. I am no longer raging mad but feeling more disappointed. I just needed this off my chest.

Pouring my Heart Out

I feel lost. I know I'm not lost but I feel like I am. Or maybe its just that I know that I've lost some thing(s) and I'm at a loss trying to figure out how to get them back. Lost and tired are the perfect words to describe me right now. I am lost and tired. I just want to give up, not on life (that's way too much melodrama) but on that mysteriously lost thing(s). Maybe giving up is the right thing to do because there are certain things that no matter how much you will it, it just isn't up to you.

I need someone to talk to but right now I don't think that a friend will do. I am tired even of my friends. Sorry my dear friends I do love you so and I know how much more you all love me more (isn't that just egotistic? ^_^) but there are things you just don't pour out even to friends. Sometimes a well meaning and compassionate stranger is much better (no I'm not talking about a one night stand!). I wanted to call a counselor but the free ones are available weekdays only. That sounds so lame. It is really lame to find yourself reduced to reaching out to some unknown counselor and to whispering your problems on the phone anonymously. At the same time I am not stupid. I do recognize that if it was another person who did that I would tell that person that it is the right choice to ask for help. What makes me so special that what would be good for others would be lame for me? Nothing. I have come to realize that there is nothing that makes me special in that way.

This is not one of my pityfests though it may come across as that. Contrary to that it is a sign that tired as I am, I'm not too tired to take another step to help myself. I want to give up on something(s) but I am not giving up on myself. In fact I may not be more special than other people who are as lame as I am but I am special enough for me to do everything to make sure I don't get depressed again. Come Monday I will be calling the helpline. If I don't get any good advice I would at least be able to pour out my thoughts and feelings without hurting anyones feelings and without dragging anyone else into the situation.

Blades of Glory

Watched Blades of Glory last night AND this afternoon. I have never had such a good laugh in years! DVDs coming out in August. Unless you have Bitorrent you NEED to buy the DVD because you just won't be satisfied seeing all their routines just once. Must go and watch again!

Champion a Cause by Voting at 25Charities

I know my blog is starting to sound like a charity blog and reading plugs about this thing and that isn't really that enjoyable. However, I actually like that this is happening since it makes me feel good. Everyone knows that getting involved in charity makes you feel good. Plus, of course, it does help educate folks and maybe save a life or two. If that isn't worth boring a few readers I don't know what is.

Anyway FSMA sent me their newsletter and it highlighted this website called 25Charities. 25Charities has just launched a book entitled "World Champions". Since I'm feeling a bit lazy and don't want to summarize what I read in the website here's what the book is all about.

"The Coffee Table Book
Published by Window View Publications, “World Champions: 25 Charities That Make Our Home a Better Place to Live” is a hard cover coffee table book which features the missions, pictures, and heartwarming stories of 25 charities, and the impact they have on society."

The cool thing about the site is that you can support the charity of your choice without even needing to buy the book, which is great for those who just don't have the budget but really want to feel like they did something to help. All you need to do is vote for the charity of your choice. The charity that wins will get...

1. 20% of the gross sales from all books sold during the promotion dates.
2. Residual Payments on Future Sales: 25% of gross sales from all future books sold (once the promotion ends) will be donated back to the charity with the most votes for as long as the book is published.

Quite obviously I am rooting for FSMA (Families of Spinal Muscular Atrophy). For those who do not know why you can read the story on how Sam was first suspected and misdiagnosed as having SMA Type 1 by clicking on this link and how we found out a good (or actually really hellish) few months later that Sam actually has PWS (which is the best news ever...after SMA that is) by clicking here.

I do know though that all the charities listed there are really good causes so if your heart tells you to vote for something else what can i do (except stalk you on the net is I find out ;-> ) ? So please do spend a few minutes of your time for something worthwhile.

Here's what the book looks like BTW. Oh and in case you do have money to burn but isn't interested in the book you can gift it to many anytime! ^_^


"No act of kindness, no matter how small, is every wasted." - Aesop

Sam Update

Sam has been showing some progress lately. It's really a blessing since I've secretly been worrying and feeling a little down because of all the medical complications and his way too slow progress. Since Friday though he's been amazing us with some significant (at least for him it is) improvements. Latest developments include:

1. Ability to tilt forward while sitting until his head reaches his feet and then stretch out a bit so he can lie face flat on the bed. He still gets all muddled up with this one though and ends up with a leg or an arm stuck underneath so I need to push him a bit to help him get going.

2. Ability to hit his telephone toy with the receiver to get it to make sounds. This is a really big deal because it means that he's learning to use tools. The funny thing though is that sometimes he hits the back of the phone but since it's face down the buttons underneath get pushed and it still makes sounds.

3. Even better than number two was when Sam put his tiny fingers together, pointed it towards the phone toy and then tried to push the buttons with his fingers! He finally understands that you are supposed to hit the buttons for the phone to beep and say "Hello!" and "Goodbye"! Woohoo! I've been showing Sam how to play with it since he was 4 months so it really is rewarding to see him playing with it on his own. It's really a good sign too that he is finally developing problem solving skills.

4. And last is his overall behavior. He now knows how to complain by making cute shouting sounds when he's uncomfortable or needs attention. This is really good since he never used to complain even if his nappies are really soaked or full of poop. But though he knows how to complain more he's been very good during the last two therapy sessions and cried very very little and almost never complained. It's really surprising since we've been absent for more than a month due to his bouts of pneumonia. He is so much more alert and active now. I'm so proud of my boy.

And now... pictures! The pictures were taken this morning before Mark left for work. Notice that on the third one Sam is sitting very straight and is slightly leaning forward. His balance is getting really good! ^_^

Still asleep. Look at those arms! I'm glad he's getting thin.

Great wake up call from Mommy and Papa.

See me sit. Hindi pa ako nasusuklayan!

Hunger in the Eyes of a Child with PWS

Hunger exists in this world. I have no idea how parents who are unable to feed their child feels. It must be gut wrenching to see your child starving and just not having anything more to give. This fact is something the world knows about... and it is our crime that this kind of hunger continues for there are resources to help those in need.

The hunger that personally hounds our family is of a different kind though...yet it is equally as heart breaking. How does it feel to let your child go hungry when there is food in the pantry? This is something I don't know yet. The time is coming that I will know though and it is what scares me about PWS the most. Some days I think Mark and I live in denial about how it will really be when "the hunger" arrives. I keep on hoping it won't come or a cure will be found before it happens with Sam. A lot of parents with PWS must have felt this way too. A lot like us dread it. And now it has arrived for a little girl named Juliette. Here's an email from Juliette's father, George, that makes it clear to me that it too will happen to my son... unless a cure is found fast. Oh God please let there be a cure...

Over the weekend, Julie (almost 6 with PWS by UPD for those newcomers) and I had a chance to play a bit. It was about 10AM. Julie had had her breakfast as always at about 6AM. Then a little snack as always at 9AM. Now it's 10 and we're playing a bit and she says "Daddy, is it lunch time yet?" I answer "No, Julie. Not for a while yet. But you just had a snack, you're not hungry again are you?" "Yes I am, Daddy" she says, then adds "Daddy, I always hungry." :>( Great. "Julie, can u use your smart brain to tell your tummy to wait a while, that it's not time to eat again yet?" "I try to, Daddy. I always try but nothing will work."

And an even more poignant one from George again...

Our teenager has a summer job as Baskin-Robbins. Most nights when she works she brings home a cup of ice cream for each family member, special as ordered for each of us. YES - I can hear you all screaming now. The only excuse I can offer is that Juliette's is always no fat or low fat frozen yogurt. She loves it, it aint half bad calorie-wise etc and she doesn't really know the difference right now between it and ice cream. So, one of the deals with her re food is she gets a small treat after lunch and one after dinner. I mean small. Typically it'll be ONE sugar-free cookie. And she is happy as a clam to get it. Well, when we have the FroYo for her, she'll have that. Whitney always takes some out of the little cup and gives it to Julie. Usually 1/3 to 1/2 of what's in the already small cup (holds about one scoop.) So it really isn't much. Julie is always happy about what she gets. Never complains or asks for more. So last night I was on treat duty. There was a new full one-scoop cup of froyo available and I gave it to Julie with a spoon and said "How much do you want to eat?" She said "Half" I said perfect. You eat half and I'll put the rest away for tomorrow. I leave her to it and come out to the computer. 10 mins later, I go in to check on her. She enthusiastically holds the cup out for me to see and there's still more than half left. I say "Great job. Go ahead and eat a few more bites and then put it in the freezer." I left it for her to do. I want SOOO much to trust her. About an hour passed. I had forgotten about it. Julie came out to lay on the sofa where I'm working. After a while she says "Daddy?" "Yes, sweetie" I answered. "Daddy that ice cream not working for me". she says in an apologetic tone. "What do you mean?" "It not working for me" she repeats. My heart starts sinking and I go to the freezer and it's not there. I find the empty cup in the trash. She ate it all. I didn't get mad at her (how CAN I?) I came back and she said "I put it in the trash" "I know Julie I saw it there. You promised me you would only eat half. WHat happened." "I tried Daddy I really tried but it not working for me." And she was sooo sad. She really felt terrible. She then said "I cant do it myself. I need help" She really said that. I told her next time I promise I will help her. So I guess I learned a lesson that Whitney and probably most of you already have learned. I learned it from the mouth of my almost 6 year old. She (and probably all folks with PWS) is aware of the compulsion to eat at some level. She does try to ward it off and fight it, even at the age of 6. But she cant do it alone. I need to help her. I need to be smarter. I need to encourage her and be there every time when she needs help. Like any of our children, only much more so. She wants SOOO much to do it herself. But sadly, she can't. And I can't trust her with food.

Now please excuse me but I must cry.

Handmade Alpaca Shawl for FPWR

My dear US readers please do check out the handmade alapaca shawl being sold on eBay. Charlene, the seller, is a PWS mom who will be donating the proceeds from this sale to FPWR. If you don't need one you can get is a a gift or at least show the link to your friends. Give to charity and get something unique and beautiful in return! Just two day and a few hours left to bid....

Hate is Such A Strong Word...

..but we use it everyday. It's convenient.

I just wanted to start this blog with something not "meme-ish". Lots of people HATE being tagged but I don't know if I'm weird or people are just cranky. I actually love being tagged. So anyway, Andrea tagged me a few weeks back and I only got around to writing this post today. Here goes.

1. Food you hate - Durian. I can't take the smell! I used to hate dinuguan (blood stew..tama ba?), siopao (sabi nila made from cats), and maling (sabi din nila may fetus daw!!! waah!) but I eat them now though they still don't count as favorites.

2. Fruits you hate - Durian pa rin! I don't like lychee either.

3. Veggies that you hate - I love veggies but even I can't take "ligaw na ampalaya". I love eating the normal variety of ampalaya but the ones my mom like to pick off from weeds are just too bitter.

4. Celebrities or people that you hate - Angelina Jolie...but only when I'm feeling jealous. I actually like her and respect her...except when I see Mark's face getting REALLY happy. Insecure!!! :p It is a rare thing for me to thoroughly dislike actual people I meet, but when I do Mark starts trying to convince me to "stop the hate". I get a bit too passionate about it...

5. Event/Incident/Situation that you hate - PWS and going to hospitals. Dealing with health insurance people and some doctors (actually just one) who makes me feel like sh*t for not being able to afford all the therapies, medications, and vaccines my son needs. It makes me burning mad, guilty, weak, and hopeless all at the same time. They have absolutely no idea what it's like! Burn them in, well not hell because that would be too much, maybe in boiling oil for even just a few seconds? Agh! I HATE remembering that!

6. TV shows or movies that you hate - Jackass (I won't link to it). I know I'm corny but I don't like stuff like that. It's plain stupid. Stupid isn't always funny for me. I do see the appeal at times though I try to stay clear of them before I start acquiring a taste for it.

7. Type of music that you hate - I just know when I don't like something but I can't really hate a certain "type" of music since once in a while a real good song comes out and it surprises me that it's from a genre I don't really listen to.

8. Household chore that you hate - Washing dishes. Isn't that the universal disliked chore?

9. Things you hate about the world - Sickness, Intolerance, Apathy. I still believe (sometimes...hehe) that if we all cared for each other (even if just in general terms) then the problems will be solved...except maybe for diseases, which need research. Sigh.

10. Things you hate about yourself - Pride, laziness and being too reactive. I want to be more proactive and not get bogged down too easily.

Winnie the Pooh and PWS

I enjoy looking at the search strings that bring people to this blog. Mostly though I find that people who land here do so due to the word "bimbo". For the first time someone landed on BookishBimbo while trying to figure out something about Prader Willi Syndrome. I guess it was a kid though because he/she entered the cutest search string of all time...

DOES WINNIE THE POOH HAVE PRADER WILLI SYNROME?

I have never thought about it before but here is my answer. I do hope whoever is looking for the answer visits again so he/she will know my thoughts on this one.

Let's see. Here is picture of Pooh.

Here are some of the common things people with PWS have.

1. Hyperphagia - doesn't get full
2. Slow metabolism
3. Low energy levels
4. Short stature
5. Stubby hands and feet
6. Tendency to get obese

Comparing the two I would definitely say that Pooh DOES have Prader Willi Syndrome. After all look at Pooh eating that honey in the picture above. Look at him laze around.

He is kind of short (though Piglet is much smaller) and would benefit from growth hormone shots except that I'm not sure if there's any Bear Growth Hormone available in the market. Look at his cute little stub called feet and hands. Pooh isn't obese but they might be managing his weight gain pretty well though he can use some slimming down. And last but not the least Pooh is extremely lovable just like kids with PWS are. Look at him with his friends.

Hmmm. Maybe Pooh should be invited to PWS fundraisers! Now, I'm pretty sure I'll love Pooh even more because of this.

Just for Laughs: Romancing Policeman

I wonder how Mark would have reacted if it was me.... ROFL. I would love to work for this TV show!!!

One Small Step to Help Kids with PWS

In support of FPWR I have decided to blog about all the upcoming fund raising events held by members. Though no events are scheduled for this month there'll be three events this August. Venues will be in Seattle, Pennsylvania, and Ontario. So if you know someone who lives there or nearby encourage them to go even if it's just to educate themselves about PWS.

August FPWR Fundraisers:

Second Annual Seattle Walkathon (August 4)
Venue:
The Landing at Bothell Park
9919 NE 180th St
Bothell, WA, 98011-1925
United States
Activities:
walk, water balloon toss, bubble machine, face and hair painting, feeding the ducks, music, games, healthy snacks, bouncy house

Philadelphia Golf Tourney (August 17)
Venue:
Juniata Golf Club
1391 E. Cayuga Street
Philadelphia, PA, 19124
United States
Activities:
Golf tournament, food, drinks, reception, skill contests, awarding of prizes

"One Small Step" Walk-a-thon (August 19)
(check out their website it's really nice)
Venue:
Centennial Park
256 Centennial Park Rd
Toronto, ON, M9C 5N3
Canada
Activities/Entertainment:

• Surprise Guest appearances including Elmo, Carlton the Bear (Toronto Maple Leafs Mascot) and friends.
• Soccer exhibition and tricks by Willy G. the Soccer Freestyler ( www.madskillsinc. com)
• Live music provided by Lost Americas Band
• Music by RPM DJ Crew
• Free airbrush tattoos
• Kid's Area including jumping castle, face painting, and children's games

No that isn't my Sam but these are kids like him that are battling with PWS.

Root Canal?

My tooth hurts. I can't think too well and research much. Still waiting for mark to come home and bring me pain killers. I am allergic to Ibuprofen and Mefenamic Acid so I can't take those. The paracetamol isn't working too well. Just had this tooth temporarily filled to see if we can save it. Hopefully the pain subsides in a couple of days. It not this means that I will either need to have it pulled or ask the dentist to do a root canal.

Root canal image source is this link.

Jam you had the procedure before right? Did it hurt too much and how much did it cost? I don't want to have my tooth pulled but I might have to if it exceeds our reimbursable dental budget too much.

BTW the dentist was really nice. In fact he was so nice that I decided that we could trust Sam with him. He had his baby girl in the clinic so I know he can handle a child. Will bring Sam over on Thursday for his first dental check up (which he badly needs). The dentist said he'll just check Sam's teeth first and allow Sam to know him and see the tools before going back to have his teeth cleaned. He says it's important for Sam to get familiarized so he won't get scared of dentists. Even if we move to another insurance I think I'll keep this dentist for Sam. He also doesn't know about PWS but he told me he'd do research first to make sure he gives Sam the best care. Now that kind of attitude is something that puts me at ease.

Cyber Romance

This is a good day. Opened my inbox and found a link to this.

Made me remember when I got mad at Mark when we were still in college. He sent me on a mini-treasure hunt when I arrived at school. Our Apphy classmates (I remember Alvin Tapia in particular) excitedly "helping me" find the clue and decode it by hand since I didn't get the fact that I was just supposed to click on the butterfly in the powerpoint presentation to be able to decode it. In the end the treasure hunt lead to this webpage (am so happy it still exists) and to dinner that night with Joe Cool (the McDonalds Happy Meal toy that I really liked).

I love it when my husband's geekiness is used for corny romantic stuff. It makes me fall in love again. Hihi. ^_^

Hospital Pics

Ever since high school Jas has always been the one you can trust to have a camera with her. When she visited Sam in the hospital on the 27th of course she had one with her pero camera phone na nga lang. Really cool for us who still doesn't have any. So she and Rohel snapped some pictures of Sam. Here's the link to Jas' photo album at Flickr. Looking at her photos though you'd think it was my photo album. Hehe.

Sam playing with Tito Rohel's face.

Oh and today Sam turns two! No birthday parties though some ninangs and ninongs invited themselves over, which is great. Kwentuhan lang and some merienda. Sam just got out of the hospital last night and is still required to rest for one more week. I guess my baby is happy since he still won't be having physical therapy this week.

Hospital Again

If people are wondering why I've been silent the past few days (and I'm pretty sure no one's really wondering since we all seem to be in the habit of simply disappearing every now and then) I have a good excuse this time. Sam's in the hospital again (been there since Thursday). Maxicare clerks have their panties in a twist. They want to declare his penumonia a complication of PWS. Fortunately his geneticist and Maxicare doctor said it wasn't a direct complication and should stillbe covered by the insurance. Hah! Anyway got to get back to the hospital. Justed posted a few entries for my job.

Oh and Sam won't be having a birthday party this Saturday even if we get out before then. We'll probably have a quiet dinner with a cute cake (which he won't be allowed to eat). We don't want Sam to get tired and finances are severely strained.

Pray and cheer for our little trooper.

My First "Encounter" with Our Neighbours (very long)

It doesn't matter if you are nice or not. Chances are you will have a run in with a"not so nice" neighbour (to put it mildly).

It all started with my me wanting to keep the apartment from looking like a row of shanties. Our apartment is really small and doesn't have any room or space allotted for hanging out clothes. We hang our clothes in the balcony just like the rest of the tenants here. It looks ugly. To say that I don't like it is an understatement because I have a deep aversion to it. Let's say that if I was the owner of this place I'd blast the management for not providing a place for people to hang their clothes. I know that the value of my building is linked to the way it looks and having clothes strewn all over people's balconies doesn't raise it's value one bit. But I don't own the building and since they don't really do anything about it I still hang our laundry in the only place where it can dry out fast. Of course I give instructions to Gemalyn, who does our laundry, to do it just once a week and to remove the clothes as soon as they dry up to make sure the place stays as nice as often as possible.

picture taken from this blog

That was just the intro. Now, in the yet to be finished roof deck I saw some clothesline hanging in disarray. I of course assumed that it belonged to the only family living in that floor. So this noon I politely knocked on their door and asked if I can take advantage of their clothesline so that I won't need to hang too many clothes in the balcony and get all our laundry to dry up faster. The man who answered the door was very accommodating and said yes. So I promptly instructed Gemalyn to hang as much clothes as she can upstairs but to take them off before it gets dark. When she came back this afternoon after going up to fetch our clothes she was a bit upset because some of our clothes were on the floor (she used clothespins so it couldn't have been the wind), the others were bunched up together, and the tenant on that floor told her that the "owner of the makeshift clothesline" got mad. Of course I was a bit pissed since I asked for permission and they didn't even tell me it wasn't theirs. I was also pretty pissed at what the snotty owner did to our clothes.

So I marched upstairs to clarify the situation and apologize to the owner of the clothesline for not asking permission and point out at the same time that she could have told me off instead of just messing with our clothes. When I arrived I talked to the tenant and she told me that the owner of the clothesline was actually the sister-in-law of our landlord (who is in USA). Now I know they are relatives but bully them if they think they can scare me off just because they almost own the place. In the first place I know that the owner is a really nice guy, his sister is nice too, and it's just the brother and his wife who is as their neighbours have told me not nice at all. In tagalog people have told me na "panget ang ugali". So I asked the tenant in the top floor to show me where they lived (And they are living here in their brothers apartment! Hah. Snotty people living off their relatives hand.). I presented myself at their door and diplomatic or plastic as I am I promptly apologized for not asking permission from her directly. I clarified the situation and she complained that the only reason she got mad was that whoever put the clothes there shoved her (already dry) curtains together and piled them up in one part of the clothesline. Gemalyn later told me that she found it that way already but I didn't know then so I apologized and told her that I'll be giving clearer instructions next time. I then said that I went to her to make sure that she doesn't get mad at the tenant upstairs because it appears that it was the driver who gave me permission and not to get mad at Gemalyn because she only put the clothes there on my behalf. I then told her our unit number so that she can talk to me directly next time she has an issue. She told me that it was actually against the rules to put a clothesline there but I can use theirs next time. I think she expects me not to use it again though I will. And next time I told her I will knock at her door first, make sure that she isn't doing the laundry that day, and be prompt in removing our clothes. The things that piss me off about this are...

1. Just because they are relatives of the owner they act like they can do something that isn't allowed. So I will be using their clothesline WITH their permission and if I get reprimanded they will also need to be reprimanded because it is theirs.
2. What the hell was she thinking putting our clothes on the floor? Even if I found someone bunching up our clothes together I don't get juvenile and dirty up someone else's clothes. I act like an adult and confront the people to clarify things. Doing otherwise is an act of stupidity.

3. They say that they don't like people to hang clothes upstairs to prevent a messy looking place but allow people to hang clothes in balconies. Now that is plain stupid because the upstairs portion isn't visible to passersby but the balconies are.

4. She acted a bit haughty trying to drop names. She wanted to impress me with the fact that the owner was her brother-in-law and that her husband is supposed to run the place. Well the fact is if they really ran the place they should be running it better instead of twisting their brother's words to fit their needs. And I'd rather talk to the sister who I know for a fact now runs this place because the brother didn't run it that well before. The brother who lives here is just in charge of the construction, not the management. If they were as high and mighty as she'd like to appear they would be having a large place of their own instead of renting a place at their brothers apartment. They didn't even get a unit with a balcony looks like they couldn't even afford a few extra pesos on a better floor and unit. Hmph (that's my inner devil sour graping)!

So now I know who to tiptoe around. But the thing is they won't get rid of me because when the real owner comes I have real suggestions about the place. Don't think I'm not serious. If you know me though you won't be afraid that I'll be really bad. I am almost always diplomatic. I can sugar coat the truth to get my way. In the meantime they can expect me to keep on hanging our clothes on their clothesline. As the photo says "It's time to hang together." Whether that means we share the same clothesline or clothesline in the roof deck be totally banned, I don't know. But whatever benefits they enjoy we will enjoy too unless they can come up with a really good reason for me not to do so.

Weird Things About Me

Tagged by Mark.

Each player of this game starts with 6 weird things about you. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says you are tagged in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

This will be hard. I am almost not weird at all so am having a hard time coming up with 6 things.

1. I am scared of live chickens (I am scared of all things classified under Aves but chickens scare me the most). I think it is more of disgust most of the time but I realize I am scared when ever I get caught unaware. All my friends know this. It's called alektorophobia. It's common actually. Not so weird. I love eating chicken though.

2. I have a strong aversion to stepping on manholes whether the cover seems solid or not. Maybe if I go someplace where I can be sure that all covers are solid then I will stop being anal about not stepping on them. I don't think this is weird though but stems out of caution. People DO fall in manholes!

3. I can't write unless the pressure level is high enough. I know it's just called procrastination and and lack of discipline. If it gets too high though I can't write either, which is called fear. Mark would call this entry - making excuses.

4. I close my eyes (unintentionally) when it looks like something bad is going to happen. This is the reason why Sam fell flat on his face even though I was just about 3 feet away from him. No harm really done that time though since he just fell off balance while sitting on the edge of our very low mattress. Working on eliminating the problem though.

5. I tend to blab too much and ask too much questions while having sex. Nuff said.

6. Like Mark I actually feel comfortable now in my "bigger" body. I had a distorted body image before I got pregnant and was convinced I was too fat. Now I know I was not. I do need to lose just a few pounds (maybe 5 or 10) to be trim and get this belly off but I am really happier with my body now. It wouldn't turn anybody on but the most important thing is it doesn't turn ME off.

I am tagging (Huwat naunahan na ako ni Che at Mark sa madaming tao!) Ate Pearl, Melany, Andrea, Jem Bunao (complete name pa noh?), the Manasans.