Worrying is Worthless

I have a scheduled ultrasound with a specialist tomorrow morning. I know I shouldn't worry but I can't help it. I just had an ultrasound yesterday and it turned out that my big baby wasn't so big at all, rather I just have this thing called Polyhydramnios. Its not so bad because 60% of the time the cause is unknown and the resulting complication is increased risk during delivery which does not scare me too much. 20% of the time its because of maternal diabetes or an incompatibility with the mother and child's blood which apparently is not the case. And the last 20% is due problems with the baby like congenital diseases. The last one is the thing I can't help worrying about, its also the thing that the sonologist will try to rule out tomorrow. I can't wait for today to be over.

Please pray for our baby that everythings ok with him.

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Its actually weird that I am starting to get my mom. Although her nagging really gets on my nerves I try to shut up because I now feel what its like to worry about your child and not be able to do anything about it.

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I'm a little sad that my baby isn't so big. I felt secretly proud everytime somebody noticed how big my belly has grown. I felt like the baby got Mark's appetite. How could I have known that it was mostly fluids? Maybe my baby just loves to swim....

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Trying to fight the worry through intensive research. Thank God for the internet. The statistics help but my maternal instincts just wont quit harrassing me.

Around 20 minutes before the graduation march and 5 minutes before I nearly fainted.
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Today

Closed shop today due to connection problems. Finally, after several days, the Digitel tech people dropped by. Of course their timing was "great" because we were about to leave when Erwin (the tech guy) arrived. So i had to go ahead without Mark. It was good though because the afternoon turned out productive.

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Mark got his toga today. A full day ahead of almost everyone else and he's so proud about it. He's been parading around the shop this afternoon with his toga on. Too bad i was feeling too woozy to help him celebrate his victory with the toga. By the way, he got it ahead of time because he went straight to the supplier since he was late for the reservations.

"The last shall be first and the first shall be last."


*snort*

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Saw Nap and Brian at the gym this afternoon. Brian said hi to my tummy but the baby didn't want to move. According to Mark, "Natakot si baby kasi lalake siya." Bad bad.

I didn't realize how similar Nap and Nikki were until today. I can't point out why exactly pero magkapatid nga sila.

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Mark just got back. Video's City's already closed. Bummer. I wonder how I'll spend the time again tonight.

While looking for quotes on education, I came upon something that a Mr Evan Esar said. At first it made me laugh so hard because it is funny. But when I started to really think about it, it left me incensed.

"America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week."

- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)

Education in our country is in such a sorry state. Blame it on any of the following - bad teachers, bad materials, a bad educational system and lack of funds - and you wouldn't be wrong. Being a teacher myself i get so frustrated with the way the system works. But one thing that really bothers me is the utterly low salary that teacher receive. To give the clueless an idea, I worked as a substitute teacher in my alma mater and there received as compensation Php 8000 per month. If you think that's bad think again because CSI actually pays better than other private schools here in Los Baños. The two other schools I applied to paid Php 6500-7000 per month. And they had no other additional benefits (aside from SSS and those required by the law)! Hello!?! Pang janitor lang ata dapat yun. In defense of CSI, due to allowances and other benefits, their teachers' salary reach at least Php 10k each month. As for UP I think an instructor's salary starts at around Php 13-14K, which is still way low because were talking about our country's supposedly premier university. Of course one can always teach in Ateneo or UA&P and other universities that pay well or at least better. But then, they just hire the good teachers (like Pat) and so low paying institutions are left with the not so good teachers and a few good dedicated ones (like Po? :p ).

Out of the 8 ultrsound printouts. This is the only clear one.
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